Tank tale

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This article was published 12/10/2014 (4253 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

MOVIES

BIG RELEASES FRIDAY: Fury; The Best of Me

BIG PICTURE: Brad Pitt plays a Second World War sergeant nicknamed Wardaddy (presumably based on one of Angelina Jolie’s pet names for Pitt) who loves killing, his tank (named Fury), his five-man crew and talking tough (probably in that order). They should have called this film Driving Miss Fury, or Five Men and a Little Lady Tank (co-starring Tom Selleck, Steve Guttenberg and Ted Danson). Set in 1945 behind enemy lines in Germany, this American war story also shares elements with the sword-and-sandals epic 300. Fury and her brave crew are the only ones standing between 500 advancing German soldiers. (Jason Isaacs, Jon Bernthal, Logan Lerman and Shia LaBeouf are among the co-stars.) Meanwhile, novelist Nicholas Sparks spawns another film that should come with a warning label: “May induce weeping, swooning and unrealistic expectations of your romantic partner. Not suitable for those with heart conditions or pre-existing breaks with reality.” Old flames Amanda (Michelle Monaghan) and Dawson (James Marsden, who played Cyclops in the X-Men film series) reunite 20 years later in their picturesque southern hometown, whose utopian sunsets give even a weathered tire swing the romantic charm of the French Riviera. Of course, skeletons start emerging from the closet (sadly, not literally) as soon as their passion is rekindled. Sample dialogue: “I lost you once, I can’t lose you again.” Sample dialogue if I was a screenwriter: “Sorry I didn’t call you for so long, babe. I spent about 10 years as a mutant who could shoot laser beams out of his eyes.”

FORECAST: The simple equation? Brad Pitt + tank box-office success. (Am I the only one who would have preferred to see a bromantic love story between Pitt and Fury? Pitt’s Wardaddy could have been revamped as a disgruntled veteran who finds his long-lost tank in a war museum. Sparks could have been brought in to write the screenplay. “I lost you once Fury, I can’t lose you again.” Cue: tears; rust droplets.

HONOURABLE MENTION: The Book of Life. This 3D, animated tale follows the bumbling Manolo, a man transformed into what looks like a Mexican Day of the Dead skeleton and sent on an epic quest to win the heart of his true love. Zoe Saldana, Channing Tatum and Ice Cube are among the voices giving life to this family film.

 

TV

BIG EVENT: Marry Me (Tuesday, NBC, 8 p.m.; Friday, Global, 7 p.m.)

BIG PICTURE: This new sitcom follows a longtime couple — the volatile Annie and laidback Jake — that can never find the right moment to get engaged. (If you think this sounds more like the premise for a 90-minute rom com than a TV series, I’m decidedly in your camp). From Happy Endings creator David Caspe, Marry Me’s well-paced comedic rhythm is grounded in the oddball chemistry of its stellar leads, Casey Wilson and Ken Marino (they’re like a reverse Dharma & Greg). Their two epic proposal failures in the première should leave viewers in stitches.

FORECAST: Like most couples, this debut shows great promise, but viewers may split if this relationship isn’t headed somewhere.

HONOURABLE MENTION: Satisfaction (Oct. 19, Showcase, 9 p.m.). If Mick Jagger can’t find satisfaction, what chance to do the rest of us have? The Canadian première of this USA Network show offers a dramatic take on love and marriage. Marry Me shows a couple struggling to get to “I do.” Satisfaction shows a fractured marriage at its midpoint. It follows the lives of Neil (Matt Passmore) and Grace Truman (Stephanie Szostak), a seemingly perfect couple that has it all but finds that isn’t enough. Their search for satisfaction leads to some shocking decision-making. For example, only a postmodern love story — or a Charlie Sheen daydream — could find a husband secretly becoming a gigolo in the pursuit of happiness. (On a side note, all these struggling fictional relationships lend more credence to my idea for a Pitt-Fury bromance. Way less complicated. The love between man and machine is pure.)

 

MUSIC

BIG RELEASES TUESDAY: Foxygen (And… Star Power); Bob Seger (Ride Out)

BIG PICTURE: Foxygen’s sound is informed by vintage ’70s power pop, psychedelic rock, classic rock ‘n’ roll swagger and modern hipster charm. Any band whose first album was called We Are the 21st Century Ambassadors of Peace & Magic probably isn’t going to play it safe or lack for ambition (or pretension). It’s too soon to call them stars, but their music certainly packs some power. On their sophomore effort, their diverse influences range from the Velvet Underground to Fleetwood Mac. Meanwhile, Seger’s 17th studio album, and the first featuring all-new material since 2006, finds the venerable rocker still running against the wind — while passing by some familiar terrain, with a mix of covers and original songs such as Detroit Made, Ride Out and All of the Roads. (No one makes you want to go on a road trip — or buy a car — like Seger.)

FORECAST: Foxygen breathes new life into nostalgia for bygone musical decades and lures you like the Pied Piper on a trip down memory lane.

HONOURABLE MENTION: Stars (No One is Lost). No one makes late-night seediness, lust, self-destruction, self-loathing and self-awareness sound as shiny as this Canadian veteran indie group.

 

Twitter: @popforecast