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MOVIES BIG RELEASES FRIDAY: The 5th Wave; The Boy

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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 17/01/2016 (3868 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

MOVIES

BIG RELEASES FRIDAY: The 5th Wave; The Boy

BIG PICTURE: Looks like E.T. didn’t just call home — he called for reinforcements. Five waves of alien attacks, to be exact (including artificial earthquakes and taking over our bodies). It’s War of the Worlds meets Independence Day (minus Tom Cruise and Will Smith’s galaxy-sized egos and wafer-thin charms) meets Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Of course, attractive teenagers must save the day by leading an armed insurgence (call it the Katniss Effect). Speaking of, Cassie (Chlo´ Grace Moretz) is our heroine, hunting for her younger brother while still making time to be tutored in weaponry by a young hunk, because what’s Armageddon without a little romance? (You can thank novelist Rick Yancey.) Meanwhile, The Boy is Pinocchio meets Child’s Play meets Gremlins. Greta (Lauren Cohan) is a young American nanny hired to care for a life-sized doll by an elderly British couple — a replacement for their mysteriously deceased child. Her gig at their Gothic mansion comes with a large set of instructions and ominous advice: “It is very important that you follow these rules.” Near as I can tell, Rule No. 1 should probably have been, “Never tell a creepy, evil-looking doll you think it looks creepy,” just in case it can come to life and happens to be homicidal. Greta must be in dire need of cash given she hangs around long after the doll starts moving on its own and giggling demonically.

FORECAST: Female protagonists are trending, so Moretz could have a replacement for the Hunger Games franchise on her hands. As for Greta, I’m not sure she’s bright enough to make it to a sequel.

SONY 
Alex Roe and Chloé Grace Moretz in a scene from The 5th Wave.
SONY Alex Roe and Chloé Grace Moretz in a scene from The 5th Wave.

HONOURABLE MENTION: Dirty Grandpa. Yup, Robert De Niro has gone from playing Vito Corleone to this. In this comedy, he pairs up with Zac Efron — a far cry from sharing billing with Al Pacino, Diane Keaton and Robert Duvall in The Godfather: Part II. They should have called the movie Dirty Grandpa: The 5th Wave, given De Niro and Efron’s grandfather/grandson duo heads to Florida during spring break and faces a deadly five-wave assault of alcohol, drugs, bar fights, beer pong and college girls. Of course, beyond being a raunchy dirtbag, Grandpa is also a fountain of wisdom and knows his progeny’s uptight wife-to-be is not the one. Enjoy insights such as, “The greatest gift a grandson can give his grandfather is a hot college girl that wants to have unprotected sex with him before he dies.”

 

TV

BIG EVENTS: The X-Files (Jan. 24, Fox/CTV, 9 p.m.); DC’s Legends of Tomorrow (Thursday, CTV, 7:30 p.m.)

BIG PICTURE: The truth is still out there. Fox Mulder and Dana Scully are back for a six-part revival of the 1990s sci-fi series, which bows after the NFC championship game. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson put aside their differences to reprise the iconic roles. No mystery there (a hefty payday heals all wounds). The Cigarette-Smoking Man returns from the dead, too — as does the series’ epic alien conspiracy. Mulder is recruited to help stop an imminent attack planned by shady elites “using alien technology.” But he needs the Watson to his Sherlock. (Instead of enlisting the world’s biggest red-headed skeptic, he should just go online and assemble an army of conspiracy theorists with a couple of blog posts.) The second part of the première airs Jan. 25 at 7 p.m. Meanwhile, DC’s Legends of Tomorrow is Quantum Leap meets Back to the Future meets a poor man’s Marvel. A British time-travelling scientist recruits eight pseudo-heroes to battle Vandal Savage (yup, seriously), “an evil dictator blessed with immortality” who has conquered the world in the future. Not even Mulder would buy this premise. Meet heroes such as Atom (the poor man’s ant-man), White Canary (the poor woman’s Black Widow), Firestorm (the poor man’s Human Torch) and some other guys. Hawkman and Hawkgirl offer some heroic legitimacy, but the team’s time-travelling spaceship looks like a poor man’s Millennium Falcon.

FORECAST: The superhero series’ title is wishful thinking, but X marks the spot. Coupled with Heroes and the looming Twin Peaks, other series are bound to be resurrected. I’m hoping for Cheers, in which Norm (George Wendt) remains on the same bar stool, now incorporated into a Boston Starbucks, and drinks craft beers out of a paper bag. (I’d settle for a Lost miniseries where we get to see Hurley and Ben running the island.)

HONOURABLE MENTION: Baskets (Thursday, FX Canada). Zach Galifianakis plays a semi-deranged man flunking out of clown school. From the minds of Louis CK and Jonathan Krisel (Portlandia). Need I say more? Bring out the clowns. Stat.

 

MUSIC

BIG RELEASES FRIDAY: Shearwater (Jet Plane and Oxbow); The Besnard Lakes (A Coliseum Complex Museum)

BIG PICTURE: Sure, their new album title sounds like the name of a hipster pub, and their band name has always sounded way too much like the fictional Stillwater from Almost Famous, but Shearwater have struck the target with this Oxbow. The album is a marked shift from the Texas group’s origins as a quiet folk-art project (an offshoot of Okkervil River). They now aspire to punchy, loud stadium rock. That said, the album’s debut single, Quiet Americans, is unique; it sounds more like a synth-laden tribute to the late, great David Bowie. Meanwhile, Montreal’s Besnard Lakes take us on a hazy, enchanted, psychedelic romp through uncharted waters. This is eerie, beautiful, shimmering indie rock. Founding members and husband-and-wife team Jace Lasek and Olga Goreas deserve a medal of honour.

FORECAST: Shearwater is taking off on this Jet Plane. The Besnard Lakes should be on your playlist if you ever find yourself following a talking rabbit down a magical hole.

HONOURABLE MENTION: Bonnie (Prince) Billy (Pond Scum); Eleanor Friedberger (New View). The Kentucky crown prince of indie rock really needs to come up with more endearing album titles. Meanwhile, the Fiery Furnaces’ frontwoman goes solo again, creating cosy, throwback folk-pop — the musical equivalent of putting on an old sweater.

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