Another take on classic tale

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/03/2017 (3365 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Movies

BIG RELEASE FRIDAY: Beauty and the Beast

BIG PICTURE: It’s a “tale as old as time” (Hermione is kidnapped by a beast and develops Stockholm syndrome). This live-action reboot of the classic fairy tale — in which a girl meets a hideous, violent beast who is really a cursed, gentle prince with GQ looks — is all about girl power. Belle is played by Emma Watson, who calls her character “a feminist role model.” Her version of the heroine is even more forceful and independent, especially when it comes to her dealings with a certain hairy heartthrob. As was the case in the animated version, Belle is also “a reader,” which qualifies as “ahead of her time” in her small village (and the current White House). When her father is kidnapped by the titular Beast, feisty Belle knocks on his castle door. She agrees to swap places with papa and thus begins a life spent talking to CGI candlesticks and teacups. An angered Beast eventually kicks out Belle, and she is hunted by wolves in the woods. When the hairy heartthrob is wounded trying to save her, their prisoner-captive relationship is almost reversed.

FORECAST: This won’t be the first Disney cartoon to find elements of modern enlightenment. I predict a future Little Mermaid will trade her voice for legs — not for a handsome boy, but to fulfil her dream of building a successful chain of sushi restaurants. Snow White will save “Sleeping Beauty” (in this case, Prince Charming), then ditch “true love” to become the frontwoman of a band (Snow and the Heigh Hos) backed by seven dwarves (and genuine songbirds). Cinderella will buy a Roomba to clean her wicked stepmother’s house and spend all day auditioning eligible princes. Her only stipulation? They need to fit into a slim-fit pair of designer jeans and a tight muscle shirt.

 

TV

BIG EVENTS: Trial & Error (Tuesday, 9 p.m., NBC/CTV), Marvel’s Iron Fist (Friday, 2:01 a.m., Netflix)

BIG PICTURE: True crime documentaries get lampooned in this comedy gem. Imagine The Office meets Law & Order. Trial & Error is a mockumentary series starring John Lithgow as a nutty poetry professor charged with his wife’s murder. When a big-city lawyer (Nicholas D’Agosto) is hired to defend him, the show finds itself guilty of inducing laughter. Ethical legal questions include, “How do you score a not guilty verdict for a man who roller-skated through the crime scene’s pool of blood?” (By the way: After the première, the series will air back-to-back, new episodes every week). Meanwhile, Marvel’s Iron Fist (Finn Jones) is like The Karate Kid meets Doctor Strange. This is Marvel’s fourth adult-oriented Netflix series and sets the stage for the limited series The Defenders (premièring this summer), which will also feature previous soloist heroes Daredevil, Jessica Jones and Luke Cage. By the way, Iron Fist wields a mystical power known as the Iron Fist (he’s also not very creative when it comes to superhero names). His abilities allow him to summon and wield his chi energy. (If they teach this at yoga, I’ve seriously been missing out). We’re told Iron Fist is “a child touched by fire destined to be our greatest warrior.” And we know this because his fists glow like E.T. My biggest criticism? Iron Fist’s alter ego is yet another handsome billionaire. Is crimefighting becoming a one per centers club?

FORECAST: Lithgow nails every part these days, whether it’s a serial killer (Dexter) or Winston Churchill (The Crown). Casting him was no error, and watching his new comedy is no trial. Plus, it sure beats the mockumentary I keep seeing on TV about a brainless, amoral, narcissistic blowhard who becomes U.S. president. (I keep changing the channel, but it seems to be on every frickin’ network.) Meanwhile, yet another Marvel hit will force DC Comics to abandon live action and only make Lego superhero movies.

 

Music

BIG RELEASES FRIDAY: Spoon (Hot Thoughts), Depeche Mode (Spirit)

BIG PICTURE: On their ninth album, Spoon still has us eating out of their rock ‘n’ roll dish. Frontman Britt Daniel can pull of eccentric arena rock, indie pop, oddball ballads and dance-floor driving disco-funk (case in point, debut single Can I Sit Next to You) and somehow make it all come together in a complete music meal. Meanwhile, the 14th studio album from English electronic powerhouse Depeche Mode tackles modern human society. Tracks include Fail and Where’s The Revolution?. The topics include fake news, man-made environmental destruction and humanity’s de-evolution (so this isn’t one to play on road trips with the kids).

FORECAST: Spoon’s Daniel recently lamented, “I wanted to be a musician, not a rock star.” Too bad, buddy. You’re the real deal. (Do you think Iron Fist wanted to be the forgettable fourth wheel of The Defenders? Sometimes, we must accept out destinies.)

HONOURABLE MENTION: Conor Oberst (Salutations), Paul Shaffer and the World’s Most Dangerous Band (self-titled). Salutations is the sequel to 2016’s Ruminations and includes pumped-up songs from that effort (with the help of fellow indie musicians such as M. Ward and Gillian Welch). The world may be doomed, but Bright Eyes himself is still daydreaming. Meanwhile, Canada’s Shaffer keep the Letterman crew together for a studio album, which includes guest vocalists such as Bill Murray and Shaggy. (Am I only the only one who hopes Paul Shaffer and the World’s Most Dangerous Band also appear as a team of supervillains on The Defenders?)

 

Twitter: @chrislackner79