Munch Madness

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This article was published 25/03/2017 (3108 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

March Madness brackets are all about the odds. From time to time, they’re also about the odd.

Hours before this year’s slate of teams hit the court for start of the NCAA Men’s College Basketball Tournament, entertainment news site Zimbio announced voting had commenced for its annual TV Couples March Madness Challenge — a competition that sees 64 television twosomes fighting it out, to determine which duo is the dreamiest. Yes, there’s a Ross and Rachel Conference.

Around the same time, U.S.-based blog The Reader’s Room (thereadersroom.org) kicked off its March Madness Reading Challenge, which invites bookworms to submit the titles of their favourite tomes, to be critiqued and seeded by a hand-picked panel of experts. (Go, Of Human Bondage, go!)

Not to be outdone, the Grand Haven Tribune in Grand Haven, Mich. has come up with a March Madness Beer Bracket, which sees a host of craft breweries from the west Michigan area battling it out for suds supremacy.

This year, the Winnipeg Free Press has decided to take part in the “madness,” as well; except instead of triple-doubles, we’re turning our attention to double cheeseburgers.

In time for the NCAA tourney’s sweet 16 matchups, which kicked off March 23, we’ve put together a bracket pitting 16 of Winnipeg’s most iconic burger joints against one another. That’s right: Munch Madness. (Given that every Tom, Dick and Moxie’s has a special burger on the menu nowadays, we were forced to come up with a few ground rules. Tenet No. 1: each locale had to be independently owned. Second; it had to be one-of-a-kind, which eliminated the likes of hometown faves such as Salisbury House, Nuburger and Junior’s.)

For the next ____ weeks, readers can go the Free Press website, winnipegfreepress.com, where they can vote for their favourite diner, drive-in or dive. We’ll start with our sweet-16 picks, a number that will drop to eight, then four, until we arrive at our final two burger joints, which will tangle for the title.

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Tim Turner is the founder of Burger Club Winnipeg, a group of amateur gourmands that hooks up on a regular basis, in search of this city’s premier patty. In addition to listing each locale’s MVP — that’s most valuable patty — and a few career statistics, we also asked Turner to share a tidbit or two about each joint, which we’re presenting as Turner’s Tips.

LACTOSE TOLERANT

Dairi-Wip Drive-In, 383 Marion St.

Most Valuable Patty (MVP): Chili burger in a bowl, a fully-dressed cheeseburger smothered in chili, top to bottom.

Career statistics: When a take-out ice cream stand at 383 Marion St. came up for sale in 1958, Mike Langos’ lawyer told the 17-year-old he was too young to buy it. No problem, said Langos, who turned around and enlisted his brother Jim and his cousin John to go in on the deal with him, resulting in a burger match made in heaven, err, St. Boniface. Remember to order your burger with chips, not fries, and ask for a box, not a bag. They’ll know what you’re talking about.

Turner’s Tip: The unevenly shaped patties are thick, fried hot with a crispy crust. The chili is very tasty and the bun is chili-proof. The foil wrapper is quite functional and makes a good reflector on a hot day.

versus

Dairy Delight, 467 St. Anne’s Rd.

MVP: unlimited fatboy, unlimited referring to the number of patties one can request

Career statistics: Dairy Delight opened on Portage Avenue in 1996, before relocating to St. Vital four years later. Talk about burger royalty: owner Voula Mikos is married to Steve Vikos, one of the owners at Mrs. Mike’s. About the “dairy” in Mikos’ business’s name: besides burgers, dogs and gyros, “DD” also offers dozens of flavours of hard ice cream.

Turner’s Tip: The burgers are massive — each patty is easily three-quarters of an inch thick — served piping hot with the outside seared crispy and the inside steamy moist. A single is all you need.

NORTH END-ER

North Star Drive-In, 531 McGregor St.

MVP: The Friday-nighter, a cheeseburger-hotdog hybrid that regulars refer to as “the best of both worlds.”

Career statistics: There has been a take-out spot in one form or another at 531 McGregor St. for close to 60 years. The stand-alone building was originally called the King Kole, former owner Robyn Lowe told us in a 2009 interview. Current owner Dale Klassen bought the biz, notable for its Van Gogh-inspired Starry Night motif, six years ago. It officially opened for the season on St. Patrick’s Day.

Turner’s Tip: My bacon-double cheeseburger had heft. The patty was massively bigger than the bun, hand-formed, fried hot in oil until it was practically deep-fried and crispy. Four full slices of thick, perfectly cooked bacon lolled out of the bun.

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White Top Drive In, 409 Manitoba Ave.

MVP: double fat boy on a sesame-seed bun

Career statistics: After running the P and T Drive In with his brother Tony for 12 years, Peter Louizos purchased the White Spot Drive-In from his buddy Bill Fatouros in 1985. The takeout-only locale was forced to come up with a new tag about 15 years ago after a B.C. chain claimed it had registered “White Spot” across the country. “The people like my dad, who run places like Dairi Wip, Mrs. Mike’s and VJs, are all cut from the same cloth,” said Peter’s son Demos in a 2013 interview. “They’re all humble, honest, hard-working people who have put their heart and soul into what they do.”

Turner’s Tip: It’s hard to pinpoint what makes this burger so good. Beef patties are juicy and soft without being crumbly. Chili is meaty with a nice bit of spice. Ample bacon is delicious. Quick service and reasonable prices at a drive-thru.

CORYDON CLASH

Daly Burgers, 619 Corydon Ave.

MVP: the Train Wreck — cheddar cheese, fried egg, onion rings, tomato, lettuce, mustard and chili

Career statistics: A few months ago, a person named Jamie posted a message on Daly Burgers’ Facebook page, reading, “Went there on opening day back in ‘97-’98 and haven’t stopped eating there since.” (Here’s hoping Jamie goes home to bed, every now and again.) Daly Burgers, fashioned after Coney Island, N.Y. restaurants of the 1950s, looks and feels like it stepped out of an Archie comic book. A former owner once toyed with the idea of opening a location in Toronto, which, the last time we checked, is some 2,000 kilometres away from the resto’s namesake street.

Turner’s Tip: The fatboy is called a deluxe at Daly Burgers. The slices of lettuce and tomato are fresh and large. It’s messy. With a double, the burger to bun ratio is correct.

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Market Burger, 465 Corydon Ave.

MVP: Build-your-own burger, which allows you to choose as many as 18 add-ons, including a fried egg, jalopeno relish and a breaded chicken breast.

Career statistics: Market Burger opened in July 2013, in the heart of Winnipeg’s Little Italy. The restaurant changed hands last year — radio personality Ace Burpee was part of the original ownership group — but the menu still boasts what Burpee described early on as “a modern take on burgers.” That includes the falafel burger (tahini sauce, tomatoes, pickles, onions and lettuce), a nod, perhaps, to the current proprietor’s Middle Eastern roots.

Turner’s Tip: Enjoy your burger under the sun on the rooftop patio. Meals come on a sturdy wooden board covered in red butcher paper. The allure of the mac n’ cheese (burger) is hard to resist and when we went, the crowd favourite was the kaiser bun.

INITIAL REACTION

A and V Drive-Inn, 1200 Chevrier Blvd.

MVP: fatboy chili burger

Career statistics: Angelo and Vicky Cavadas purchased the P and T Truckstop in 2004. Their first order of business was changing the name to A and V, which is a play on their initials, not a gibe at a certain burger family.

Turner’s Tip: The meaty chili is very good and there was lots of it on my bacon cheeseburger. It was a six-napkin burger. Make it a double, because two thin patties have twice the grill crust flavour of one thick one.

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V.J.’s Drive Inn, 170 Main St.

MVP: V.J.’s special, the Main Street landmark’s take on a traditional Greek fatboy

Career statistics: “This is where it all started, my friend,” said V.J.’s owner John Calogeris in a 2007 interview, noting when V.J.’s opened as Junior’s in the late 1950s, it was the first place in Winnipeg to use the term “fatboy” on its menu. How famous is the takeout spot? Legend has it a person in Texas once took out a highway billboard in that state, reading, “When in Winnipeg, eat at V.J.’s.”

Turner’s Tip: The order-taker greets you in line. Be ready because you probably can’t see the menu. The chili sauce is something special and they put on lots of it, but order a double burger. Fries are awesome and you can get a lime shake.

MAIN STREET EVENT

Super Boy’s, 1480 Main St.

MVP: double super boy, but what’s in a number? The dine-in record is eight patties…

Career statistics: Angelo Corantzopoulos and his late wife Ourania opened a drive-in called Fat Boy’s on Henderson Highway in 1980. Five years later, they tweaked the name and moved to Main Street, a block away from where Burton Cummings’ mother used to live. “Burton would come in on his way to her place,” Corantzopoulos’ daughter Georgia said in a 2013 interview, mentioning the music legend’s usual order was a hamburger, fries and chocolate shake.

Turner’s Tip: Ordering is easy with a picture menu and prices that include tax. The thick, half-pound patties are well seasoned — a bit like meat loaf. You might need a knife and fork. The fries were a surprise; they tasted like deep-fried perogies.

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Pete’s Place, 1777 Main St.

MVP: Ultimate fatboy — a five-patty cheeseburger with the works… times three

Career statistics: In a 2016 interview, Samantha Vlahos, who runs Pete’s Place with her husband Pete, downplayed their 16-year-old eatery’s curb appeal. ““Our parking lot’s whatever, the area’s meh, the building’s meh… but the heart of this place has always been on the inside. We may have trouble pulling people through the door, but once they’re in, we’ve got ‘em.” During that same interview, Vlahos credited a regular named Len for Pete’s Place’s ultimate fatboy. “On a lark one day, he ordered a triple (fatboy), and it just kind of went from there,” she said. “The guys he sits with week-in, week-out were egging him on, so the next time he came in he said, ‘Let’s go for five (patties).”

Turner’s Tip: The five-ounce patty is understated and I could barely finish the double I ordered. It’s a classic diner patty, cooked with a solid grill crust. The chili sauce is Greek-style, not too spicy. I liked it on the burger and loved it on the fries.

EAST OF EATIN’

Red Top Drive Inn, 219 St. Mary’s Rd.

MVP: Monster Burger, a six-patty behemoth served on an oversized bun loaded with cheese, mustard, chili sauce, lettuce, tomatoes and pickle

Career statistics: A little over two years before he died in a drowning accident in Costa Rica in February, Peter Scouras, co-owner of the Red Top, told us he was trying to style himself after his late father, John, stating, “people seem to appreciate that the owner’s around if you need him. My dad was really good at that sort of thing, and I’m trying hard to be the kind of guy my dad was.” The Red Top opened in 1960. John Scouras joined his brother Gus there in 1970, after a 10-year-run at the original Junior’s location, on Main Street. “I have no idea what they were thinking,” Scouras said with a laugh, when we asked him about the six-patty Monster Burger.

Turner’s Tip: The patties are cooked well and crispy; the buns remind me of sesame seed-covered baseballs, in that they’re completely round. The platters come with salad, slaw and fries. The servings are huge so arrive with an appetite.

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The Diner’s Grill, 405 Turenne St.

MVP: Reuben Burger, which consists of Swiss cheese, bacon, lettuce, red onion, tomato and pickle topped with sauerkraut and corned beef.

Career statistics: Joshua Mesojednik opened the Diner’s Grill in June 2015, in a nondescript strip mall in a St. Boniface industrial park. Mesojednik put his name on the burger map shortly thereafter, after issuing a food challenge, which involved downing a burger and fries laced with a few grams of crushed Trinidad scorpion Butch T pepper — one of the most piquant chilis on the planet. Anybody up to the test was rewarded with a $50 gift certificate – and a well-earned glass of milk.

Turner’s Tip: The Reuben Burger is the star of the show. The stack of patty, grilled corned beef and sauerkraut make a mockery of the bun. Napkin ratings are high. Poutines have thick beef gravy and mounds of real Quebec cheese curds.

LADIES’ DIVISION

Blondie’s, 1969 Main St.

MVP: the nine-pounder, ‘nuff said

Career statistics: “If your order is wrong, it’s your OWN fault!” “If you have ANY problems with the prices, the staff or the way this place is RUN, McDonald’s is down the street.” Those are some of the ground-round rules at Blondie’s, which colourful owner Sandy Doyle opened Sept. 4, 1990. In 1995, on an afternoon when there was nobody in the joint, Doyle decided to experiment and see just how large a patty she could make. Her nine-pound creation is now internationally famous, thanks to appearances on TV shows such as Food Network’s You Gotta Eat Here! and OLN’s Get Stuffed.

Turner’s Tip: Blondie puts the “rant” in restaurant. The 1/8-pound “Baby Burger” is bigger than most four-ounce. singles I’ve had. Sandy D. works from a bowl of fresh ground beef and does it in high heels.

Mrs. Mike’s, 286 Taché Ave.

MVP: the King Burger, once named one of Canada’s “eight greatest” burgers by Readers Digest Canada.

Career statistics: Mrs. Mikes had already been around for a couple of years when Nick Mikos started working there in 1967. The founder — a fellow named Mike, natch — ran a dry-cleaning business next door and named the takeout stand for his wife, whom his customers referred to Mrs. Mike. Mikos and his brother Steve bought the biz for themselves in 1969.

Turner’s Tip: The go-to King Burger is well-lubricated with lettuce and mayonnaise between the patties. It is a huge, messy burger. I had to catch mine, as it torpedoed out of the foil when I tried to eat it with one hand.

GO WEST

The Burger Place, 1909 Portage Ave.

MVP: double deluxe with cheese

Career statistics: John Siates opened the Burger Place in 1987. Siates sold the restaurant to Gus Vailos in 1996, who turned around and sold it to Costa Kostis, in 1998. Kostis’ son Andy took things over about a year ago, after the elder Kostis retired. In a January interview with the Free Press, Kostis admitted he isn’t great when it comes to names, but he rarely forgets a regular customer’s order. When he’s taking in a Jets game at the MTS Centre and a person yells, “Hey, Andy!” his comeback is often akin to, “Hey, double cheeseburger, no mustard, no pickle,” he told us.

Turner’s Tip: It’s so cosy they passed us our food from behind the counter without having to get up. The first thing I noticed was how good the bacon is. It’s crispy and has lots of flavour.

New York Burgers, 1335 Notre Dame Ave.

MVP: triple fatboy, with bacon… and cheese… and dip

Career statistics: After placing first in a locally-sponsored, Best Burger in Winnipeg contest in 2014, co-owner Sandra Curatolo was asked about the chili she and her husband Onofrio slather on their burgers; specifically, what sets it apart from their competitors’ toppings.

“I don’t even know the secret… he won’t reveal that to me,” she said of her hubby’s time-tested recipe. We’re not sure if Sir Ben Kingsley will bother to vote while he’s in town shooting a movie but on March 1, a person named Michael posted a picture of himself and Kingsley on New York Burger’s Facebook page, mentioning he ran into the Oscar winner on Notre Dame Avenue while stopping by for a fat boy a couple of weeks ago.

Turner’s Tip: An inexpensive burger served to you fast. The double had more bacon than beef with four large strips flowing over the edges of the bun. The chili was quite tasty.

david.sanderson@freepress.mb.ca