Winnipeg’s professional cuddlers welcome the touch-deprived with open arms

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This article was published 30/05/2015 (3933 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

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A recent article in Prevention magazine cited the health benefits of cuddling.

According to medical studies, intimate physical contact causes the body to release oxytocin, a hormone proven effective in the treatment of high blood pressure, stress and, in certain situations, clinical depression.

Unfortunately, not everybody has a partner they can spoon with when the going gets tough.

Four years ago, Marylen Reid’s marriage was falling apart. The Montreal native was also trying to adapt to a new city, having just moved from Quebec to the nation’s capital to study law at the University of Ottawa. There were occasions back then, she admits, when she really could have used a hug.

“I was intelligent and fairly attractive, but the dating scene is horrible if all you’re looking for is affection,” Reid says over the phone from her present-day home in Vancouver. “It got to the point where I thought to myself, ‘If only there was a service where I could pay somebody to come to my place and cuddle with me, I would so do it.'”

In December 2014, Reid put her legal career on hold to start the Cuddlery, the precise type of biz she’d wished for when she was in law school. For a set fee — about $1 a minute — clients can book a person to snuggle with.

Get-togethers are strictly non-sexual and run anywhere from 15 minutes to four hours. Appointments — which fall under categories such as “Try it,” “Movie Night!” and “Life-coaching” — are video-recorded for the safety of “the cuddler and the cuddlee,” Reid explains. (Clean freaks will be pleased to know there is a stipulation both parties must have showered or bathed within 12 hours of snuggling up.)

The Cuddlery was an immediate hit on the West Coast — so much so that Reid began expanding her operation to other Canadian cities, including Winnipeg.

St. Boniface resident Bonnie Timshel was scrolling through her Facebook feed in February when she spotted a blurb about the Cuddlery — specifically, how the company was in the market for independent contractors. Timshel mentioned the post to a few of her co-workers over lunch. Their general reaction was, “Ew, what self-respecting human would ever do that?”

“And there I was thinking, ‘That is so my jam; I totally would,” says Timshel, 25, noting she grew up in a French-Canadian household where displays of affection were second nature.

Timshel, who majored in biology and minored in psychology while in university, sent in her application. Following a lengthy phone interview with Reid and an in-depth training seminar conducted via Skype, Timshel became Winnipeg’s first Cuddlery representative.

The second? Her fiancé, Kristjan Anderson.

“Obviously, that’s the sort of thing you would bounce off your partner to see if he or she is cool with it,” Anderson says, putting down his drink to cup Timshel’s hands in his. “Not only was I OK with the idea, it was something I was immediately interested in, too.”

Timshel and Anderson understand when people roll their eyes or snicker. And they took it in stride when an ad for the Cuddlery was pulled from Kijiji, after an unnamed party reported it as a front for an escort service. (A similar business in Madison, Wis., was shut down by that city’s vice squad in 2013 because officials there refused to embrace the fact the Snuggle House was on the up-and-up.)

“It’s hard for some to wrap their heads around it, but there are people out there who legitimately just want a hug,” Timshel says, sharing an anecdote about a friend of a friend who was so touch-deprived he made special trips to the corner store simply for the feeling of having somebody deposit change in his palm. “We are very tactile beings. Why do you think we have all these signs in museums saying, ‘Please don’t touch’? Because that’s what we’re all about.”

To date, Timshel’s customers have been all over the map — male, female, as young as 23 and as old as 65. She has worked with professionals and blue-collar types. Some she’s visited once, while others have standing appointments.

“There’s an assumption only singles would use this type of service, but that hasn’t been my experience,” Timshel goes on. “For example, I have one gentleman who is married. He and his wife love each other dearly, but ever since their child was born 14 years ago, they’ve barely touched each other, he told me.

“So he came to us, looking for a way to reach out to his wife. He was like, ‘I love her more than anything else in the world; can you teach me how to bridge that gap?’ “

Anderson hears similar stories. But because he is “very much not a counsellor,” his role as a professional cuddler is to listen and lend support, he says.

“We can offer our personal opinion, but we are very careful to disclaim it, saying, ‘This is just me as a person saying this. If you want professional advice, you should seek out somebody qualified to do that,’ ” he explains.

Arif lives in Vancouver. In January, after the holidays were over, he was in a deep funk, he says, and began turning to food to combat his feelings of loneliness.

“I knew I was on a downward spiral and I found out about (the Cuddlery) from a quick search on Google,” Arif says in an email. “I needed a reminder of how good things could be and the comfort of a woman is a very motivating force.”

Arif says he felt “a little empty” after his first session with an associate named Alana. But he decided to “give it another shot” and things went much better the second time, after he threw in a movie to break the tension, he says.

“I would say I’ve had close to a dozen appointments with Alana, and they usually consist of a one-hour cuddly massage and a two-hour film,” he says. “Alana and I get along very well, primarily because we share many common interests.”

Timshel says it’s natural to form bonds with clients. If she has customers who are going through rough patches, she’ll shoot them a text or two during the week, just to ask how it’s going.

“It’s a job, sure, but it’s not like I’m putting up a wall when I’m with you, and lying there thinking about what groceries I need to pick up on the way home,” she says. “I find the entire process to be very meditative. I work in tech support during the day and cuddling offers me some sanity from call-centre life.”

Timshel comes clean when she is asked if she still has enough cuddles left in the tank for her partner.

“I’m never hugged-out so no, that’s not a problem,” she says with a chuckle.

“Except when it’s time for bed; both of us like to have our separate blankets and I am very much a ‘don’t touch me while I’m sleeping’ type of person.’ “

 

david.sanderson@freepress.mb.ca