Fans get unwanted ball game snacks

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 25/06/2018 (2947 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I have nothing but sympathy for that innocent sports fan who sustained a painful injury the other day at the big game.

For the record, I am not referring to the pantless streaker who was flattened by a shoulder hit from B.C. defensive back Marcell Young after running onto the field during the Lions’ recent CFL home opener against the Montreal Alouettes.

Call me an insensitive brute, but I am not overly surprised the B.C. defender took umbrage when, suddenly and without warning, a man wearing only an orange Lions jersey and blue underpants invaded his workplace and pranced around the field waving his arms and twirling.

Here’s a major shock — the streaker has retained the services of a law firm specializing in personal-injury cases. In a statement, the firm claimed the fan “suffered serious injuries, including a mild traumatic brain injury, as a result” of the hit.

When I say I am awash in sympathy, I am, in fact, referring to a fan named Kathy McVay, who was sitting behind home plate at a Philadelphia Phillies baseball game last Monday when — and this was also suddenly and without warning — she was walloped in the face by a meat missile, by which I mean a flying hotdog.

The wayward wiener — wrapped in duct tape to prevent it from coming apart mid-flight — was launched by the Phillie Phanatic, the Phillies’ infamous fuzzy green mascot, who routinely uses his gigantic hotdog cannon to fire snacks into the crowd.

Unable to catch or deflect the flying food due to a shoulder injury, McVay was smacked in the face just below her right eye by the hotdog, which knocked off her glasses, left her with an impressive shiner and sent her to the emergency room for a CT scan to ensure she didn’t have a concussion.

“It just came out of nowhere. And hard!” She told reporters after the freak accident, noting the wiener “hit me like a ton of bricks.”

Here’s another shock — the wiener-wounded woman does not plan on hiring a lawyer to seek legal revenge. “It gives people a good laugh, and if that makes somebody chuckle, then that’s fine,” is what the hardcore fan said.

So, yes, my heart goes out to this non-litigious fan who bravely took one for the team and, out of the goodness of her heart, decided to let flying wieners fall where they may.

I would like to tell you that getting hit by an errant hotdog is a rare occurrence, but, after several moments of online research, I have discovered this is just the tip of a huge iceberg, which, when flipped over, reveals hotdogs rocketing through the air at an alarming rate.

Which is why today we are going to present another instalment of a semi-regular feature entitled “You Be The Judge,” wherein we will present you with the facts of a famous case and you, the open-minded reader, will render a historic verdict.

Here are the facts: In September 2009, a fan named John Coomer was attending a Kansas City Royals baseball game when — OK, yes, this was also suddenly and without warning — he was struck in the eye by a four-ounce foil-wrapped hotdog flung in behind-the-back fashion by the team’s plucky lion mascot, Sluggerrr.

Coomer endured two surgeries — one to repair a detached retina and the other to remove a cataract and implant an artificial lens — and, surprise, with a great deal of relish, launched a negligence lawsuit.

The Royals argued that under the so-called “baseball rule” — a legal standard in place for about a century that protects teams from being sued over fan injuries caused by events on the field, court or rink — Coomer was responsible for paying attention to everything around him, including fly balls and flying hotdogs.

In 2011, a Jackson County jury decided Coomer’s allegations of reckless mascot behaviour didn’t cut the mustard, and ruled he was 100 per cent at fault for his injury because he wasn’t aware of what was going on around him.

He appealed, and in 2013, the Missouri Court of Appeals overturned the decision, ruling that while being struck by a baseball is an inherent risk fans assume at games, being hit with a hotdog isn’t.

In 2014, the Missouri Supreme Court sided with Coomer and bravely sent the flying hotdog case back to Jackson County for yet another trial.

So what was the outcome in the final case? Did the jurors side with Sluggerrr or the fan belted in the eyeball with a wayward wiener? Go ahead, talk among yourselves because — hold on while I activate the caps lock feature on my keyboard — YOU ARE THE JUDGE!

Q: Is this a fun way to review a weird legal case that has been the focus of dozens of scholarly articles, or what?

A: You bet, Doug, you are clearly a (bad word) legal genius.

OK, that should be enough time for you to grill the merits of the various hotdog arguments. What happened was (pause for dramatic effect)… the Jackson County jury decided in 2015 that no one was at fault.

Yes, they ruled that neither the fan who was looking at the scoreboard when a foil-encased dog hit him in the face, nor the Kansas City Royals’ fuzzy mascot were at fault. And that’s the end of it, because Coomer doesn’t plan on filing an appeal.

So what’s the legal message? I think it’s this — when fans and hotdog-wielding mascots end up in court, everyone is a wiener!

doug.speirs@freepress.mb.ca