Right now, to thine own self-care choices be true

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/03/2020 (2361 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

What do you think of when you hear the term “self-care”?

I think of face masks. Not the kind from Home Depot people started hoarding when coronavirus began spreading, but the fancy sheet kind — you know, the kind you think of when you hear the term self-care.

“Self-care” has become a buzzword, a term that has been co-opted and warped by capitalism. It’s now a way for Instagram influencers to sell $67 candles and jade rollers and the promise of “feeling well” — or, at least, feeling better about, um, living under capitalism. It’s Treat Yourself-Care. Oh, the world is on fire and you have to have a side-hustle to make rent? Do a face mask! 

But while the wellness-industrial complex doesn’t have a place in a pandemic, self-care does. In fact, taking care of ourselves is one of the most important things we can do right now. 

Yoga studios and gyms are closing. Salons are closing. Many of the things we typically associate with caring for ourselves — fitness classes, haircuts, pedicures, massages — are not available to us right now. Many people feel in freefall as a result. The loss of routine is destabilizing, especially for people who use structure to ensure good mental health.

And so, right now, self care — the actual act of caring for ourselves — might look like the basics. It might look like getting outside for a walk in nature. It might look like cooking at home, but it also might look like ordering in if you want to support a local business and lack the energy to turn on the stove. It might look like putting down your phone, or deleting the Twitter app, or taking breaks from what has been a truly punishing news cycle. It might look like arranging a FaceTime coffee date with a pal. It might look like doing a YouTube workout. It might look like de-stressing activities such as reading a book or taking a bath or binge-watching a TV show. (Yes, it can also look like a face mask.) 

But self-care can also look more like survival. It looks like washing your hands and staying home. It looks like asking for help. It looks like drinking water. It looks like remembering to eat and take your meds. It looks like sleep. 

I once asked Buffy Sainte-Marie about the importance of self-care in preventing burnout as an activist. “You’re no good to anyone dead,” was her response. Indeed, if we’ve learned anything from all of this, it’s that taking care of ourselves is ultimately how we are able to take care of each other. 

Sometimes, self-care is used interchangeably with self-improvement. Perhaps that’s why self-care is often viewed as A Thing For Women. It’s about striving to not just be well, but to be optimal. 

People keep tweeting that Shakespeare wrote King Lear and Macbeth during a plague which, bully for Shakespeare. But please do not feel pressured to turn this time into a productivity boot camp. If you want to make stuff in self-isolation, great. If you want to use this time to making sure you don’t totally unravel, that’s also perfectly reasonable. 

Things are uncertain and ever-changing. Learn, if you can, to be flexible. Give yourself permission to rest. Release yourself from sky-high expectations. Now is the time to be gentle with ourselves, so we may be gentle with each other.

jen.zoratti@freepress.mb.ca

Twitter: @JenZoratti