Getting the gift of the (second) jab

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 03/07/2021 (1844 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I would like to start today’s column with the following heart-felt expression of unfettered joy: “Hurray!”

Pardon me for letting my emotions run wild, but I am feeling like 20 pounds of happy in a 10-pound bag because my wife and I got our second jabs of a COVID-19 vaccine on Friday at the RBC Convention Centre, Manitoba’s largest immunization centre.

It is not easy, using mere words, to describe how I am feeling about being among the 40 per cent of Manitobans who are fully vaccinated — a number that could exceed 50 per cent late next week — but I will give it the old college try: I feel really, really happy!

My innermost feelings at this precise moment would probably best be summed up by the following deeply moving poem I wrote to commemorate this historic moment: “Roses are red/violets are blue/I am fully vaccinated/I hope you are, too!”

For the last line of that poem, I contemplated saying something along the lines of “Woo-hoo!” which would convey the excitement of the moment, but probably would miss the central theme of today’s column, which is this: If you have not yet gotten vaccinated, I’d really appreciate it if you stopped dragging your (bad word) feet.

Before I expend mental energy ranting about people who for whatever reason are avoiding getting a life-saving shot in the arm, I should confess that, as I write these words, it is actually two days before my scheduled vaccination appointment.

So, technically speaking, as I write this, I am not fully vaccinated, but the point is that by the time you read today’s column it will be the day AFTER my wife and I were set to have received our second jabs.

I am pretty sure that after getting my second dose, I will be feeling perfectly fine for two key reasons: I felt great after getting my first shot back in April; and my wife promised to take me out for all the ice cream I can eat if I behave myself at the inoculation centre on Friday.

In my world, getting fully vaccinated against a potentially lethal virus a mere 15 months after the invisible killer rolled into town — and getting treated to a huge feed of ice cream the very same day — seems like the definition of a win-win situation.

I briefly contemplated dressing up in a goofy outfit for my second shot, because that is something a lot of people are doing. I know this because many of them have posted amusing photos on social media showing them decked out in old Halloween costumes.

I was inspired when I saw photos of former Winnipeg Blue Bomber John Rush heroically getting his vaccine while dressed up in a wedding gown, which helped raise funds for a local LGBTTQ+ organization ahead of Pride Month.

But I am way too big to fit into my wife’s old wedding dress, and all of my old Halloween costumes — potato, carrot, lobster and other agricultural-themed outfits — would barely fit the mayor of Munchkin Land.

So my plan was to just show up looking like a middle-aged, overweight newspaper columnist, except I decided not to wear my newspaper person’s ID tag, because it caused nothing but problems when I got my first shot.

Back then, when I climbed out of the car in the parking lot, I asked a couple of questions of a friendly vaccination site ambassador, who then used her radio to alert her colleagues that a “columnist” was in the building, which resulted in at least six organizers marching over to warn me not to talk to anyone or take any pictures because I was there as a patient, not a journalist.

Regardless, I wrote a column about how smooth and efficient the process was, and I’m confident it will have been just as problem-free on Friday because it seems they have worked the kinks out.

Consider this: It wasn’t that long ago Manitoba was North America’s COVID-19 hot spot, but as of Tuesday we had climbed to No. 1 among the provinces in per capita vaccine administration. Not too shabby, Friendly Manitoba.

Unfortunately, there are still a few stragglers — you know who you are — dragging their feet and refusing to sit down for a shot in the arm.

Our provincial government has offered $100,000 prizes and $25,000 scholarships in an effort to persuade more people to get immunized, and on Tuesday it unveiled $390,000 for 25 community organizations and other partners as part of its efforts to encourage COVID-19 immunization among groups with low uptake.

“We know from research and from clinical leadership that there are thousands of Manitobans who are open to getting a vaccine, that would be ready to get a vaccine. I’m just not the guy to persuade them,” is what Premier Brian Pallister told a news conference.

It’s pretty simple, kids: The faster we get fully vaccinated, the sooner we get through this pandemic and our lives return to something approaching normal.

Even if we don’t win one of the cool prizes being offered, we should all be grateful. We should be grateful for the opportunity to get immunized. And we should be grateful that so many Manitobans — as of Wednesday, about 74 per cent have had their first shot — are doing their part to protect themselves, and the rest of us, in a time of crisis.

So book your shots, everyone, and then leave me alone, because I’d like to finish this tub of ice cream in peace.

doug.speirs@freepress.mb.ca