What’s in a name? Whatever you call your pet is still just as sweet

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 03/12/2022 (1399 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

When my daughter moved home about three weeks ago after spending several years working and living in northwestern Ontario, she didn’t come alone.

She was accompanied by the new love of her life, a small furry fellow who, when he is not licking himself, enjoys chasing mice and curling up on my chest while I attempt to watch TV in the den.

As sensitive readers have already deduced, I am talking about a cat, the first ever to take up residence in my home. This feline intruder “adopted” my daughter after he was abandoned by a previous owner and spent several weeks surviving in the great outdoors.

She calls him “Cheddar,” and the other day I demanded to know what had inspired that cheesy name. My daughter rolled her eyes and, in the sort of voice you would use when talking to a house plant, replied: “Because he’s orange and looks like a cheddar.”

I didn’t think much more about it — at least I didn’t until a few days later when I looked in my email inbox and discovered the latest informative and educational report from the nice folks at rover.com, a website that touts itself as the world’s largest and most trusted network of five-star pet sitters and dog walkers.

For the 10th consecutive year, rover.com has taken a deep dive into its database of millions of pet parents to dig up not only the most popular pet names in the country, but examine all the weird influences behind the names Canadians chose for their new dogs and cats this year.

“Your cat or dog’s name is more than just what you call them — it’s also the feelings it evokes as you say it. A name has significant meaning, and the names we choose for our pets often reflect the things that matter most to us,” the report said. “Whether they showcase our passions and interests or reflect what’s happening in the world around us, 2022 saw a lot of new cats and dogs, and (unsurprisingly) a lot of new pet names.”

The first thing that jumped out at me was the fact that, in naming her new feline friend after a chunk of cheese, my daughter was bucking a hot new national trend, namely giving your pet a traditional human name.

“As many opt to wait to have children or not have them at all, the humanization of our pets has steadily increased over the same time period,” the report barked. “As a result, traditional human names were popular for dogs this year, with Luci (207 per cent), Gary (144 per cent), Jane (92 per cent), James (90 per cent) and John (87 per cent) leading the pack.”

Here’s what Kate Jaffe, a trend expert at Rover, said in a statement: “Looking back at the last 10 years of pet-names data, we can see that the humanization of pets has become an increasingly influential macro trend for pet-naming conventions. Rover’s database of millions of user-submitted pet names reveals how names we lovingly choose for our pets reflect our passions and lifestyles, and often serve as a time capsule for the moment we welcomed them into our families.”

I don’t wish to sound hopelessly out of date, but when I was a pudgy, dog-loving kid back in the 1960s, we did not give our pets human names. No, regardless of their gender, we gave our dogs one of the three officially approved canine names of the day: Rover; Spike; or King.

Back then, dogs were routinely allowed to spend their day wandering around the neighbourhood, which meant that at the end of the day when you opened the door and shouted for them to come home for dinner, you would often end up with half a dozen dogs, all with the same name, staring at you in a confused manner.

In giving her cat a food-related name, however, my daughter was caught up in one of the hot mini-trends of 2022, namely naming your pet after something you enjoy stuffing in your mouth.

According to rover.com, the top trending food-related dog names in 2022 were Burrito (up 907 per cent), Gravy (up 607 per cent), Mint (up 407 per cent), Kimchi (up 373 per cent), and KitKat (up 307 per cent).

In contrast, the top five trending food-related cat names were Donut (up 577 per cent), Biscuit (up 552 per cent), Banana (up 377 per cent), Brownie (up 377 per cent), and Pickle (up 377 per cent).

I think these figures reveal a dramatic difference between dog and cat owners, and if someone out there has a clue what that difference is, feel free to let me know.

If, like me, you have been spending hours in front of your TV set recently watching the World Cup of soccer, you will be pleased to hear that a growing number of pet owners are naming their dogs after some of the stars of the Canadian team, which made it into the tournament for the first time in 36 years.

“After an electric performance in the qualifiers, pet parents are starting to show their love with the dog names (goalkeeper) Milan (Borjan) and (fullback) Alistair (Johnston) surging by 707 per cent and 207 per cent, respectively,” the rover.com report claimed.

While this columnist was hit with COVID-19 this past week, the pandemic, happily, is starting to recede, “but like the virus itself, some strains of COVID-inspired dog names are still trending.

“The names Delta and Pfizer are up 15 per cent and six per cent respectively, while Covi and Rona were trending down in 2022. New COVID-inspired cat names this year include Johnson and Rona.”

There are way too many weird naming trends to discuss here, but you can check them out by Googling “rover.com pet names Canada.”

Today’s main point is that you, as a Canadian pet owner, should feel free to call your dog whatever you like.

And the same goes for your cat, but based on my recent feline experience, it’s just going to ignore you anyway.

dougspeirs65@gmail.com