Persistence pays off

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/05/2023 (1176 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I think almost everyone can relate to this.

For two weeks, you’re dialled in. You’re eating better and following a workout program and it goes great… for two weeks. You avoid the crap food and indulgences… for two weeks. You don’t miss any workouts… for two weeks. All goes well… for two weeks.

Then the novelty wears off and old habits return. No one’s checking on you so you hit snooze and skip a workout or two. Then you stop planning ahead and end up defaulting to drive-thrus and delivery apps again. Only to end up back in that vicious cycle to nowhere. On and off the wagon, rinse and repeat.

Then you say it again… “Nothing works for me.” Your self-confidence erodes and you search for some new solution that’ll serve you better next time. But the truth is nothing works for you until you work at it. So how do you go from stuck to sustaining next time? There are two things you’re missing:

1. ‘Be it before you are it’

Better than “Fake it till you make it” (which is based on a façade you can’t sustain), you need to fundamentally become the new version of yourself in mindset, habits and belief before the outcome you seek will become reality.

You can’t be fit with crappy habits, meaning there’s no way you get the desired outcome without ditching some of the habits that lead in the opposite direction — alcohol after dinner every night, skipping the gym, chips and Netflix, and so on.

2. Power of the hive

Look around and ask yourself if there are people in your corner supporting or calling you out when you need it.

By paying for mentoring and coaching you can “borrow” education, experience and even belief from those around you. It’s a way to break through your own perceived limits and sustain through the lows.

Of course, the wrinkle is you still have to implement the plan and stick it out. Most people have unrealistic expectations of how fast things should happen for them. That sets them up to fail. Heck, I’ve been there. After I had my big “weight” wake-up call in my early 20s, tipping the scales at 260 pounds, I wanted to lose every pound as fast as possible.

That didn’t happen. That first year ended up being a rude awakening. Why? Because things didn’t happen as fast as I thought they would. I had expectations of being down 60 pounds in six months or less.

Instead, I lost 10 only to gain back 10, rinse and repeat, jumping from one quick fix to the next. So when I only lost 10 or so pounds in that first year, give or take, I considered that a failure. But I was 10 pounds further along than I would’ve been if I did nothing.

In fact, I was adding at least five to 10 pounds per year prior, so it was a 20-pound swing. But I didn’t see it that way.

I remember talking with my first fat-loss coach about it the next year. One of the things he helped me see was that I had unrealistic expectations about how fast I was going to build my body.

“Dude, you’ve been living on chicken fingers and fries, playing video games for six years, it’s not going to take six weeks or even six months to undo that.”

He wasn’t wrong. With his help, I committed a lot better that next year and lost most of the weight over the next 12 months.

I eventually realized the true prize was all the residual benefits that came along with a commitment to fitness.

By committing to the process of getting healthier, I found it changed my work ethic for the better. I was more productive each day. It gave me a better outlook and my mood and mental health made a complete 180.

Frankly, before embracing fitness, my weight was holding me back. I remember eating my lunch in the bathroom in high school if I didn’t see the one familiar face I considered a “friend” because I was so lacking in confidence.

Changing the way I saw the world — from a more positive place, not so much a victim — ended up being more valuable than the changes I saw in the mirror. Losing weight and feeling great was the launch pad for the life I live today.

Did getting in shape make me happy? Not by itself. It provided the spark for more contentment and internal satisfaction.

But gradually I’ve realized happiness is there when you remove the sense of something missing in your life. We constantly walk around thinking, “I need this,” or “I need that,” trapped in this pursuit that has no end.

And once we get “that” we fill the void in pursuit of another “that” without celebrating the previous “that” we accomplished.

Happiness is the state when nothing is missing. When nothing is missing, your mind shuts down and stops running into the past or future to regret something or to plan something. Feel free to disagree and email me a counterpoint (like you all do when I celebrate carbohydrates in this column!).

I rarely achieve this state as I find myself wanting the next thing, too, and the next thing gives me a sense of purpose.

I hate getting complacent, so it’s not for me to be in this mindset all the time. But there’s probably a middle ground where you can be perfectly content with where you’re at while striving for more to fully reach your potential.

Again, it’s different for everybody. To me, happiness is not about positive thoughts. It’s about the absence of desire, especially the absence of desire for external things.

The fewer desires I can have, the more I can accept the current state of things, the less the voice in my head is fearing the future or stewing on the past. The more present I am, the happier and more content I will be.

Happiness to me is not suffering, not desiring, not thinking too much about the future or the past, and really embracing the present moment and the reality of what is, and the way it is.

When you think of it, this is how toddlers operate.

They’re generally pretty happy (meltdowns aside) because they are immersed in the environment and the moment, not stuck in their head, staring at a phone or regretting the past or desiring a different future.

Take some time to unplug and be present today. It’ll serve you well.

Mitch Calvert is a Winnipeg-based fitness coach who has helped more than 1,500 people transform their lives over the past decade. Visit mitchcalvert.com to grab a free copy of his metabolism jumpstart or drop him a message at mitch@mitchcalvert.com.