Words can be slippery, mutative and demure

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This article was published 24/08/2024 (764 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Have you noticed that everything, everywhere is “very demure, very mindful” these days?

You can thank TikTok creator Jools Lebron. Earlier this month she posted a video about her soft, vanilla-scented beauty routine for work, describing it as “very demure, very mindful.”

This phrase, which feels like the diametric opposite of the toxic-green “brat” that dominated the internet all summer, has since gone viral in a way that feels unprecedentedly fast.

And good for her: Lebron, who is transgender, says the video changed her life and she’s now able to finance the rest of her transition.

There’s lots to be said about the business side of being a TikTok creator, but I want to talk about cultural impact, specifically on language.

Demure, as it’s being used these days, does not precisely line up with its dictionary definition, which is “reserved, modest and shy (typically used of a woman).”

“Very demure, very mindful,” in this usage has shifted to mean, per Lebron’s own definition, “being mindful and considerate of the people around you, but also of yourself and how you present to the world.”

I’ve seen it used to describe … well, almost everything. Brands, of course, have gotten hold of it; United Airlines made a TikTok with audio of Lebron describing how she demurely boards a plane. You know she waits for her zone to be called!

Language is slippery and ever-changing, and I’m always fascinated by the ways in which words evolve — see: viral, literally, awful. Or weird.

Weird comes from the Old English noun wyrd, meaning “fate.” Now, it’s mostly used as a synonym for “strange” — or by U.S. Democrats to describe Donald Trump and his running mate, JD Vance.

Fairly modern slang is already shapeshifting. Let’s talk about a crass sexual term that has morphed to mean a strange form of abstention.

I’m talking, of course, about “rawdogging.” If you don’t know the original meaning of this charming bit of slang, I’m very sorry, but I’m going to ruin that for you. Previously, rawdogging referred to having sex without a condom.

Now, per Travel TikTok, it means taking a flight with no TV shows, movies, podcasts or music, no reading material, no games, no work, no naps, no noise-cancelling headphones and, for the most committed of rawdoggers, no snacks, no water and no bathroom breaks.

It’s meant to be a kind of an endurance test — or a “dopamine detox” — which is why rawdogging is mostly reserved for long-haul flights. Just you and your thoughts for hours. One exception: you are allowed to stare at the flight map — if, that is, your plane is equipped with seatback screens.

Domestic flights are too easy to rawdog and, besides, screens have become scarce on short-haul flights. Everyone wants you to download an app now.

Though I do always find it amusing when the seatbacks specify “literature only,” as though a monocle is going to drop down from an overhead panel here in 27F. Hmm, yes, quite. Must catch up on my Proust on this economy flight to Calgary.

I’ve encountered this behaviour in the wild only once, well before it was a trend. An elderly woman sitting next to me on a transatlantic flight to Italy read the safety features card in full, then clasped her hands in her lap and just … sat there. For seven hours.

You could say rawdogging a flight is very demure, very mindful.

jen.zoratti@winnipegfreepress.com