All people deserve to be accepted, welcomed in their place of worship

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This article was published 11/05/2024 (526 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Although same-sex marriage and sexual and gender diversity is accepted as normal and celebrated in Canada today, it is still seen as wrong by some conservative evangelical Christian denominations.

And yet, there are many LGBTTQ+ people who still attend evangelical churches where their sexual identity is considered sinful and their full participation is not welcome. Why do they stay?

That’s what Naomi Isaac, who graduated in April from the Master of Arts in counselling psychology at Providence Theological Seminary in Otterburne, sought to find out.

In her thesis for the program, titled “2SLGBTQ+ Christians’ Experience of Spirituality in Canadian Evangelical Churches,” Isaac, who has a counseling practice in Edmonton, interviewed nine LGBTTQ+ people across Canada who are, or were, part of non-affirming evangelical congregations — Baptist, Pentecostal, Alliance and various kinds of Mennonites — to learn more about their experiences.

One of the first things that became apparent through the study is there are queer people in evangelical churches. As one participant put it, “you have LGBTTQ+ people sitting in your pews, whether you know it or not.” Many of them, she went on, are not out; some are teens who don’t have an option for where to go to church.

As for why they stay, it’s because they value the connection to their faith communities — they are their spiritual homes, the places where they grew up. But staying is hard; one thing Isaac repeatedly heard was that many queer Christians experience harm in those churches.

“There was so much mixed messaging,” said Isaac. On the one hand, queer people hear from the pulpit that God loves everyone, but then hear they fall short of that love because of who they are.

Those who came out while still part of their churches experienced “a deep feeling of betrayal” to discover they weren’t truly accepted anymore, Isaac said. Some felt like their connection to God “was ripped away,” she added, noting that some feared maybe God was also rejecting them.

When asked what they would like evangelical churches to know, participants said they want these churches to be explicit on their websites and other materials about who is welcome and who isn’t — not to say everyone is welcome if they really aren’t.

They also want clergy and other church leaders to take time to talk to LGBTTQ+ people and hear their stories. “Participants in this study said they want to be seen, to be heard, to be known,” said Isaac. As one participant put it: “A lot of the controversies and mixed opinions are due to the fact that we’re not talking about these things, we’re not getting the full breadth of information.”

As for why she did the study, it turns out Isaac had a deeply personal reason: The 64-year-old is queer and grew up in a non-affirming evangelical denomination — Mennonite Brethren, in her case — and attended a number of different evangelical churches as an adult where she struggled to reconcile her sexuality with the messages she was hearing from pulpits.

“I lived with the struggle all those years, hearing so many homophobic messages in church that seemed antithetical to God’s love and to who Jesus was,” said Isaac, who finally came out in her late 50s. “It made me not want to go to church.”

She found hope and acceptance in a new church home in an LGBTTQ+ affirming United Church. “The people of that church impacted me in their welcome and encouragement and their affirmation of me as I discovered my own queerness,” she said.

Isaac also credits her same-sex partner for “showing me what it means to be deeply loved just as I am,” she said.

Her research was also prompted by hearing stories of other LGBTTQ+ Christians “who were dedicated to their Christian faith yet so tortured by being told they were going to Hell for who they were, people who were cast out of their churches and their families,” she said.

“There was so much pain among people who wanted a relationship with God but who were driven away by their churches,” she said, adding that it was hard to hear their stories. “I could relate,” she said.

Isaac hopes her research might cause some evangelical churches to re-think their position on same-sex marriage and LGBTTQ+ people. “They have a message about God’s love, but are driving away people who are seeking God because of who they are,” she said.

She also hopes they will seek to end the harm being caused to LGBTTQ+ people, including those who die by suicide because they feel rejected by their churches and by God because they have been told they are “an abomination” to God.

“I hope those evangelical churches will acknowledge the harm they caused and work to change things,” she said. “I hope they will truly learn to love and to listen and accept the gifts and passion of queer Christians. It can only enhance their communities and their message.”

People who want a copy of Isaac’s Master’s thesis can contact faith@freepress.mb.ca

faith@freepress.mb.ca

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