Sad season for some

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This article was published 15/12/2024 (384 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Christmas can be a tough time for Sherpard Gwende.

“I miss my home and my family during this time of year,” Gwende, who came to Canada from Zimbabwe in 2022, said.

Like in Canada, Christmas in Zimbabwe is a time for family gatherings.

“We get together, share food and drink and celebrate together,” Gwende said.

Christmas in Canada is wonderful, “But it’s not the same,” he added.

St. George’s Anglican Church in River Heights, where Gwende is the priest, is holding a Blue Christmas service at 7 p.m. Wednesday. He said it’s an important event for people who, like him, might not be feeling all of the happiness of the season because they miss loved ones, or for other reasons.

“It’s a service for those who might find Christmas difficult,” Gwende said.

Congregations appear to have been holding such services for about the past 40 years. They are usually held on Dec. 21, the longest night of the year. The goal is to acknowledge that for some, Christmas is a time of darkness and that not everyone feels joyful because of grief, loss, loneliness or other challenges during the festive season.

St. George’s began holding a Blue Christmas service years before the pandemic, but this is the first time it is being offered since COVID-19 arrived here.

“It’s a way to recognize that Christmas isn’t the same for everyone,” Gwende said of the service, which will include some songs, scripture and a short homily.

It’s a quiet and reflective time, a way to “promote healing and hope for those who find Christmas difficult,” he said.

Those who attend might have lost a loved one in the last year, or experienced a divorce or other broken relationships.

“It’s a time when those burdens can be acknowledged,” Gwende said. “Maybe people can get a sense of healing.”

That’s something Gwende is hoping for himself, as well.

“At a time like Christmas, one can feel isolated,” he said, noting that can also be true for other newcomers to Canada.

“The mood is just different.”

Jubilee Mennonite Church in North Kildonan is holding such a service at 7 p.m. Sunday. Pastor Janessa Nayler-Giesbrecht said the service is special to her for a different reason.

“I’ve dealt with depression for about 20 years,” she said. “November and December have always been the hardest months.”

A Blue Christmas service is welcome because it “recognizes that a time of the year when there is so much joy for many can be a time of profound sadness for others,” she said.

Growing up in different evangelical-style churches, Nayler-Giesbrecht didn’t have a chance to attend a Blue Christmas service.

“I could have used it earlier in my faith journey,” she said, noting she was glad to learn it was a tradition at Jubilee when she arrived there as pastor a year ago.

“It reminds us that God came into a broken world, and that God is present even when things are difficult,” she said, adding the Bible doesn’t shy away from talking about hard things in life.

At Jubilee, the service will be simple, with a few songs and scripture. It will end with an opportunity for those who attend to light candles to acknowledge their grief “or whatever else feels heavy,” Nayler-Giesbrecht said.

“People are free to be as sad as they need to be,” she said, adding sadness at Christmastime can “co-exist with joy.”

Lois Thiessen-Derksen is a psychotherapist at Recovery of Hope. She said Blue Christmas services are important because many people feel alone with feelings of sadness and loss at this time of year.

“The nativity story is not just ‘joy to the world,’” she said. “It’s also about pain. Not everyone is feeling happy at Christmas.”

By attending a Blue Christmas service, people can remind themselves that, “It’s OK to feel sad and not try to cancel it,” Thiessen-Derksen said. “They can hold joy and sadness in both hands.”

In addition to St. George’s and Jubilee, other churches holding Blue Christmas services in Winnipeg include:

• St. Bernadette Roman Catholic Parish, Sunday at 7 p.m.
• St. James Anglican Church, Tuesday at 3 p.m.
• St. Paul’s Fort Garry United Church, Tuesday at 4 p.m.
• McIvor Church, Dec. 22 at 7 p.m.

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