Haiku Horoscopes
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/09/2013 (4419 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
óè
Directions to my
Party? Turn right at the tree
Then into the gorge
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
óè
Growing old can be
Hard, so I recommend that
You get immortal
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
óè
I just saw a dude
That was at least 50 and
Listening to Drake
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
óè
“Check yourself before
You wreck yourself” — Sigmund Freud,
The “Hey, you!” essay
Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)
óè
Crossword puzzles are
A great way to keep your mind
Actively hating
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)
óè
Words of wisdom: when
Someone says “words of wisdom”
You can then tune out
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
óè
Get your holiday
Shopping done early, since you
Have one week to live
Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
óè
28 thousand
Is a small price to pay for
Some meaningless trash
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
óè
The next time you feel
You aren’t appreciated
Remember: you aren’t
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
óè
They’ll be sorry they
Laughed at you and your clown hat
And floppy sneakers
Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)
óè
Biology’s not
Your subject, so stop going
To biology
Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)
óè
I regret to in
Form you that “inform” is one
Word and I cheated