No end to evolving

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/09/2022 (1119 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I got on the plane for my flight home from a conference in Las Vegas on Saturday and a guy was in my seat.

An honest mistake, it was all good. We exchange some small talk and he openly admitted he should’ve booked two seats because of his size, but the plane was fully sold. It was a little awkward, but I tried to put him at ease, and small talk is my way of doing that.

After realizing we both have young daughters, we started chatting about what we do for a living. He looked at me and said, “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I want to be a role model for my daughter, but I don’t know where to start. Can you help?”

He looked 50 and drained by life, but was only 39! A light bulb went off right then and there.

How can I help people who feel overwhelmed regain their former glory without living in the gym?

Truthfully, everyone needs to nail the 4Ms in their life: mindset, muscles, marriage (or relationship) and money.

(Yes, studies show people who exercise regularly earn $25,000 more per year, so all of it is interconnected!)

How do you define success?

If your answer is being wealthy and debt-free, I can tell you from the conversation I had on the plane, this is only part of success.

If your answer is being healthy and fit, I can tell you from past personal experience this is only part of success.

And if your answer is having a great mindset and living in gratitude, once again, I can tell you from personal experience this is only part of success as you can’t pay your mortgage with a positive attitude.

Look, it’s embarrassing to admit this, but I’ve had success in some areas while neglecting others, and I felt hollow every time.

We must prioritize some things over others at times, but you need to keep your family, fitness plan and finances intact to stay satisfied.

The truth is, success is a byproduct of managing to balance all four:

● Creating financial security and being debt-free;

● Being fit, healthy, functional and happy with your body;

● Maintaining a positive mental attitude and an unshakable mindset;

● Having a healthy marriage/relationship with your significant other.

Those are the keys to the kingdom.

One reason many people get frustrated is because they believe it all should get easier over time.

But that’s not the way it works. You need to work at them all forever! If you pass the tests, you graduate to bigger problems — that’s the payoff. The kind of problems we want in life. Then we can reframe them as blessings. Otherwise you aren’t evolving, and we’re only content when we’re evolving.

After 10 years of being a business owner, nine years of marriage and seven years of being a father, I’ve learned life is not going to get easier, it’s going to get more complicated. You need to come to terms with this two-sided truth — you can’t grow without discomfort.

Starting a family comes with a lot of change (kids for one!). However, I can’t imagine life without those changes.

Every time our business grows, we face new complications that require me to level up.

A marriage requires more work to maintain the spark over the years, not less.

Comfort zones breed complacency. My question for you is, where are you complacent right now? Where do you need to level up and get uncomfortable? What’s the one area of your life you’re neglecting right now and need to change?

The truth is, success is a balance of a bulletproof mindset, a healthy relationship, the ability to create financial freedom and a body that’s fit, functional and healthy.

That is when you’ve got it all figured out. So, what is the area being neglected the most? Work on changing that.

The obstacle is the way

It’s natural in the pursuit of any goal to come upon obstacles and to feel temporarily stuck on a plateau. This is normal. That’s when many will wave the white flag and think they’ve failed and quit, give up, drop out or take up pursuit of another secret they see on social media.

But the wise have discovered if they just keep practising the basic principles, eventually they make what feels like a sudden leap to success. Because there is no easier route here.

With fitness in particular, no matter how many diets you try or meal plans you buy, you can’t get around the mandatory requirement to eat better and exercise.

As motivational philosopher Jim Rohn so aptly put it, “You can’t hire someone else to do your push-ups for you.”

Whether it’s exercising, meditating, eating home-cooked meals, setting measurable goals or visualizing success, you are going to have to do it yourself.

No one else can do these things for you. As a coach, I will give you the road map, but you will have to drive the car. I will teach you the principles, but you will have to apply them. I will surround you with support and community to help pull you up and hold you to a higher standard, but you’ll have to extend your hand when you need it.

Because, let’s face it, eating right, exercising regularly, sleeping enough, drinking an adequate amount of water and moving more should form the foundation of your identity 12 months of the year, not just in pursuit of weight loss.

Those are all indisputably good things to prioritize. I promise you — the principles always work when you work the principles.

Be patient. Hang in there. Don’t give up. You will break through. You will have off days and even weeks at times where life gets rough and fitness falls short.

The key is realizing it’s a temporary setback, not a permanent failure. Over a long enough timeline — with enough “bouncebackability” — you will succeed.

Between where you are right now and where you want to be — the “before” and “after” — there’s a period of time full of repetitive stuff. And it’s where progress happens — in that boring gap where it’s just you and the dumbbells.

First come the subtle changes: the belt starts loosening, clothes feel a bit different, you start feeling more energetic and happier, in general. People who haven’t seen you in a while will validate your efforts with compliments. That feels good, because you, being your own worst critic, probably didn’t notice the day-to-day gradual changes. And as you get little wins along the way, you build momentum and it keeps you going. This is called trusting the process.

But it takes time to shift that identity, so don’t hope to be there in 30 days or even three months and come out of it transformed for life.

If you want to make huge progress in the long run, you should be more focused on accumulating as many good habits as possible and practising them consistently.

It’s that simple and yet that hard. But the alternative is not for you, so let’s make it happen, shall we?

Mitch Calvert is a Winnipeg-based fitness coach who has helped more than 1,500 people transform their bodies and lives over the past decade. Visit mitchcalvert.com to grab a free copy of his metabolism jumpstart or drop him a message to get direct coaching. Right now he and his team want to help people drop the summer pounds before the snow flies with their “September Sprint” challenge.