Acknowledge the pink elephant in the room

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/02/2022 (1336 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I have a quick ask for you to start things off.

Whatever you do, don’t picture a pink elephant.

Got it? Good.

Wait a minute, now all you can picture in your mind is a pink elephant, right?

That’s for good reason. I’ll get back to pink elephants in a second, but first, let me set the scene. A new coaching client emailed me lamenting that every time she starts a program, she suddenly gets cravings for all the foods that led her to needing help in the first place. Almost as if her body is rebelling against pursuing this goal.

In the past she’d fly completely off the rails, indulging in all the foods she told herself were off limits. So I encouraged her to eat the foods she’s craving, but in smaller amounts.

Now, if you binge on ice cream then you probably shouldn’t have a four-litre tub whispering sweet nothings at you from the freezer, but your plan must include a little bit of fun, or you won’t stick to it.

A few days later, she reported back that as if by magic, her cravings had disappeared.

This client was experiencing a concept in psychology called “ironic process theory.” It occurs when you try not to think of something and then that thing becomes the only thing you can think about.

And further, because she now knows she can eat those foods (sensibly) whenever she wants, she isn’t thinking about them.

If your plan makes bread completely off limits, but you love bread, how likely are you to succeed if all you can think about is that restaurant bread basket?

The same thing happens when you attend a social event you know will have all your temptations within arm’s reach. In response, you start to make a mental list of all the things you’re not going to do.

But then you get to this party and all of a sudden you’re shovelling down cake like it’s going out of style. Sound familiar? Just like our pink elephant exercise, the more you tell yourself you’re not going to do something, the more likely you are to do it.

Why? Because your brain hates you and humans suck at self-regulating. When you’re under stress trying to kick in willpower, the unconscious doesn’t process the “not” part of the message — “I will not eat cake at the party;” “I will not drink too much;” “I will not blow my diet.”

So it becomes: “I will eat cake;” “I will drink too much;” “I will blow my diet;” “I will make a fool of myself by jumping in the pool naked again even though I work with half these people and will see them on Monday.”

The solution is pretty simple.

Instead of thinking about what you won’t do, have a plan going in.

Instead of “I won’t have cake,” try “I’m only going to have one slice of cake.” Instead of “I won’t drink,” try “I’ll have one beer and then drink water out of a red Solo cup the rest of the night.” You get the idea.

This works because it allows you to be specific and narrows your focus. By focusing on what you will do, you don’t have to worry about what you won’t do when your willpower caves and the emotional side of your brain talks you into a third and fourth trip to the dessert table.

We tend to follow through on the commitments we make to ourselves when done this way. We want to act in alignment with how we see ourselves, after all. A topic for another day, but aligning your values and vision with being a fitness person does make following these guidelines a lot easier.

For now, give this a go the next time you find yourself stressing out about an event or party that might throw you off track.

Let’s wrap up with some quick actionable strategies:

Don’t go into the party starving

Instead, make sure you arrive at the party with a full belly. The key here is to eat very filling, low-calorie foods. Protein and produce, with some filling carbs, such as potatoes or an apple mixed in. Have a big protein shake on the way out the door as a fail-safe. You’ll almost certainly eat less than you normally would.

Compensate after, not before

Of course, there’s a very good chance you’ll still overeat as environment is hard to overcome, but it works far better to compensate afterward than to starve going in.

According to The Science of Self Control, significantly overeating for a day produces a roughly 40 per cent increase in leptin, the “appetite-control hormone.”

You likely won’t feel the desire to eat the next day, so embrace a little restraint and cut a few calories from your typical intake if it feels right to you.

You’ll probably be extra motivated to get back at it, too, so channel that into salads and supersets, not the, “I’ll wait until Monday” mindset.

You can bet with this approach you’ll be right back on track in a day or two.

Engage the “rational rider” to quiet the “emotional elephant”

Before deciding on whether to indulge or not, engage the rational side of your brain with one question:

“How many calories are in this and how will I feel after I eat it?”

Thinking of the caloric and energy drain of what we’re about to eat wakes up our brain’s rational rider, stopping the emotional elephant in its tracks who just wants immediate gratification.

This enables you to make a rational decision about whether it’s worth it. So you can consciously decide whether eating those two slices of pizza with 800 calories is a better choice than eating a home-cooked meal at half the calories that’ll give you steady energy without the acid reflux.

No right or wrong decisions here, but giving yourself a chance to think about it goes far, and you may win the internal tug-of-war more often.

Follow 90/10 rule

In the end, if you can fit something into your diet’s calorie budget, whether it’s ice cream or McDonald’s, it’s not really “bad” from a fat-loss perspective.

In a study on diabetics shared in The Science of Self Control, allowing up to 10 per cent room for fun foods did not harm diet adherence or health markers.

That said, you know yourself best. While you can lose fat having a scoop of ice cream every day, it may not be in your best interest to have a huge tub taunting you from the freezer. There is likely to come a time when one scoop leads to eight.

The basic premise of the 90/10 rule is to make 90 per cent of your choices quality, whole foods; single-ingredient stuff such as chicken, potatoes and fruit.

Mitch Calvert is a Winnipeg-based fitness coach who has helped more than 1,400 people transform their bodies and lives over the past decade. Visit mitchcalvert.com to grab a free copy of his metabolism jumpstart or contact him directly at mitch@mitchcalvert.com for coaching opportunities or questions.