Nix the negative to get into healthy headspace

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/11/2021 (1432 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I’ve been guilty of fixating on the negative over the years (and still to this day) and I’ve caught many clients making this mistake at times, too.

So, whether you had a good week or bad, it’s critical you get in the right frame of mind.

And that is not stressing about your scale weight or where you screwed up the last few days.

The mind isn’t conditioned to look for the good; it will default to the bad if you let it.

I’ve worked with thousands of people over the years and I’ve recognized that all the tools and strategies in the world are not effective if there are a few missing pieces in the toolkit — the toolkit being your mind. It comes down to what’s happening between your ears. Always. Period. End of story.

Consider a desire that most reading this have — to lose some weight and look and feel better.

When we want to be in better shape than we currently are, naturally, we start to focus on needing that now. But what is the energy (or frequency) behind this neediness?

Very often it’s coming from a place of “I don’t have it now, therefore I need it now.”

This is a small but important nuance. If we’re focused on not having the thing, be it a leaner body or whatever, then we only attract more lack of results into our existence. You cannot get what you want by focusing on the lack of the very thing you want!

The good news is there’s a way to shift this perspective: If you’re focused on the “gap” (a.k.a. what you don’t have; ‘I need to lose this weight’), you are likely going to feel a sense of anxiety, being overwhelmed and frustration in pursuit of that.

Instead, you should feel a sense of calm, peace, and expectancy during the process because you know the right actions will lead to the promised land, eventually.

When you know you’ll get the result you want — it’s just a matter of trusting the process and giving it time.

Grass will only grow so fast even when you water it, a baby takes nine months to full term, and transforming your body after (sometimes) decades of neglect takes time, too!

One of the simplest things you can do to shift this perspective is to simply write it out in the present tense.

Take five minutes first thing each morning (and before bed if you want, as well) and write down everything you expect to attract into your life over the next year.

A sense of it already being accomplished is what you want to feel while you write this down.

You could journal something along the lines of “I am so happy and grateful for the lean midsection and athletic body that supports me living my best life” in the present tense and get a clear picture in your mind while you do it.

So, the process to manifest good things into your life is simply:

Step 1: Get clear on what you want and write it down, as above, in the present tense

Step 2: Feel certain that it’s inevitably coming to you and in fact is already here

Step 3: Focus on what you want consistently (write it out often) and take actions to bring it to reality consistently without feeling impatient, anxious or needy about whether it’s going to happen or not.

So take the time to imagine who you can become, what you’ve done and how you’ll look and feel 12 months from now.

You hold the pen that writes your story over the next year no matter where you are today, how you are feeling or “who” you are fighting (especially if it’s your own thoughts and mindset).

Whenever I want to accomplish something great, it comes down to getting clear on where I want to be a year from now, knowing it’s going to materialize, putting a manageable plan in place and getting the accountability and support to see it through.

If you do those things, then your future looks very bright, indeed.

How do I help my kids get healthier?

As a teenager, I was ridiculed for my weight. No one wants that for their kids. It surely has lasting psychological effects. Fairly or not, for whatever reason, kids can be especially cruel about one’s appearance. So how do you help your kids lead a healthy life without feeding into their insecurities?

1. Lead by example. You cannot demand things from your child when you are not walking the talk, so you need to start by changing your habits first.

One former client of mine completely rocked her transformation, dropping over 40 pounds, and she didn’t do any of it for herself, which is probably why she did so well.

She confided after the fact she did it for her teenage daughter who was having a tough time in school. Her daughter routinely came home in tears because of what some boy or girl had cruelly said about her weight.

So it wasn’t just for her kid when she reached out to me, but to set an example of what’s possible.

“I wanted to show her that she could change her habits too. That is what is in her control to change if she wanted to.”

Your kids aren’t listening to what you say, but they sure see what you do and model your behaviours. Are those behaviours ones you want them to adopt for a lifetime?

2. Don’t restrict all “bad” foods. An inclusive and balanced diet should be the cornerstone of building great habits. Work on a balanced approach to all foods, making sure 80 per cent come from nutrient-dense sources.

If you have a zero-tolerance policy on junk food, guess what they’ll do when they get free from your reign? They’ll eat the forbidden fruit and go crazy. Moderation is the name of the game.

3. Make the right choices easier to make. At the same time, make it easier to make good decisions. A fruit bowl vs. a pantry full of candy for example. Have mostly fruits and healthy snacks that satisfy without packing too many calories and allow room for fun here and there.

If you are a parent wanting changes for your kids, my best advice would be to start with yourself. Be the example and you won’t have to fight with them over every food decision.

Mitch Calvert is a Winnipeg-based fitness coach for those looking to melt away the middle-aged middle that develops over the years. Visit mitchcalvert.com to grab a free copy of his metabolism jumpstart or to contact him directly.