The clock is ticking

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/05/2022 (1238 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I took a punch to the gut the other day.

I was finishing off a workout with some planks and my four-year-old daughter, Grace, was downstairs playing nearby.

She suddenly dropped down and held a plank… just like she saw me do.

This has been a big realization since becoming a parent. Being a father has shown me how deeply our actions impact others. Some of the impacts are conscious, but the majority are unconscious.

There are always eyes on us whether we know it or not. The decisions we make, the vices we have, how we spend or don’t spend our days impacts everyone around us.

And the impact can be generational. They don’t always listen to what we say (that’s for sure!), but they sure are modelling our actions. The cliché “actions speak louder than words” holds true here.

If I’m tired, crabby and flat on the couch, my daughter sees this as an example of what a relationship should look like. If I’m on my phone and not being present? She might feel ignored and who knows how that’ll impact her. If I’m having a drink to take the edge off or bingeing on food at night? She’s learning how to develop vices to deal with stress.

This is terrifying and enlightening. It challenges me to be better, not just for me but also for everyone and everything I hold dear to my heart.

Our habits, vices and decisions can drag others down. We also possess the power to elevate those we care most about.

It’s not about being perfect all the time, but it is about setting a higher standard.

Show them how to exercise and eat right. Show them how to take care of their mental and physical health. Show them how to take control of their lives and live it on their terms.

I see the opposite too often these days. My older daughter, Quinn, is in T-ball this year and all around the diamonds I see parents sitting on the sidelines, in lawn chairs, glued to their phones.

Few of them are present in the moment watching their kids or using it as an opportunity to move their bodies for the first time all day!

When you think of it, we need to learn from our kids. They’re generally pretty happy because they are really immersed in the environment and the moment, without regretting the past or desiring a different future.

Plus, they just naturally move, run and play as a default setting. Too many of us have abandoned that way of living in adulthood and it’s no wonder we’re overweight and unhealthy as a whole.

So what does it mean to be an active parent and reverse this depressing trend? Nothing crazy.

Active parents take care of their bodies; they are strong, lean and athletic.

Active parents don’t negotiate with their alarm clocks; they own the morning because that’s the small window of time in the day to prioritize you, not Netflix.

Active parents aren’t moody and whiny when their day doesn’t go as they hoped; they embrace the challenges and focus on the silver linings.

Active parents don’t collapse on the couch when they get home from work with a beer or glass of wine to numb the stress; they have the energy to play with the kids and prioritize that quality time.

When you’re middle-aged, you have money and you have health, but you have no time. When you’re old, you have money and you have time, but you have no health.

So the trifecta is trying to get all three at once. It’s a heck of a lot easier if you figure this out earlier than in retirement.

I know many parents feel guilty putting time into their own personal health. But we have a responsibility to be healthy, and you’ll be a far more active participant in your lives when you’re active yourself.

One of the big shifts I made was deciding my No. 1 priority in life is my own health. It starts with that or I literally can’t do anything else to the best of my abilities.

Because my physical health became my top priority, then I can’t say I don’t have time. When you make something a priority, you get it done. Period. When it isn’t a priority, there’s always some other thing that gets in the way.

You’ll never regret a workout or a healthy meal. It’s the “doing” that’s the hard part.

I heard this quote the other day: “Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.”

Basically, if you are making the hard choices right now in what to eat, you’re not eating all the junk food you want. So you’re doing what you need to do to avoid a much harder life later when your health breaks down.

As an example, I’ve been forcing myself to take a minute-long cold shower every morning. I learned a very important lesson from this: most of our suffering comes from avoidance. We often suffer more in fear of making that change than when we actually make it. Most of the suffering from a cold shower is in anticipation. Once you’re in, you’re in.

Count to three and take the leap. It’s a metaphor for life when you’re faced with a decision you know is hard in the short term but will pay off in the long run.

Accept it, but don’t mentally suffer over the decision. Having a cold shower helps you re-learn that lesson every morning.

What’s the final lesson here? The Law of Diminishing Intent, coined by the great Jim Rohn.

It goes, the longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds you will never actually do it.

When I hear someone saying they are going to start that diet or exercise plan when the timing is right, it’s almost guaranteed it’s not going to happen for a while. Or if it eventually does, it means the effort required by waiting will be significant.

Look, I get it.

I’ve used this form of rationalized procrastination in other areas of my life. The voice in our head wants us to think we’re not ready.

When I wanted to go all in on Calvert Fitness, I couldn’t. My subconscious wanted me to keep it safe in the steady salaried job I was in, so there was friction for two years as I tried to balance both.

It’s important to be honest with yourself and say, “OK, I’m not ready to make this change 100 per cent. I like my vices too much, it is going to be too hard for me to give up X, Y and Z.”

But say instead, “I’ll set a more reasonable goal for myself; I’ll cut down and make some changes. I can commit to that externally.”

Change is rarely about a complete 180 unless you’re super motivated by some sort of trigger event, such as a heart attack.

It’s better to work your way up slowly, and take the next steps as they come.

Because why would you wait to drink more water, eat more whole foods and walk more? It’s the simplest actions that lead to the biggest results over time.

Or as Naval Ravikant wrote: “Inspiration is perishable — act on it immediately.”

Start. Take the leap. Do something, because the clock is ticking.

Mitch Calvert is a Winnipeg-based fitness coach who has helped more than 1,400 people transform their bodies and lives over the past decade. Visit mitchcalvert.com to grab a free copy of his metabolism jumpstart or to get direct coaching to drop a size before summer fully arrives.