HUMOUR US

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/11/2010 (5624 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

The city will be a little weirder Wednesday when Winnipeg’s Gone Wacky crowns a winner.

The Winnipeg Free Press contest attracted more than 34 million responses from amateur comedians from around the world when it was announced at the beginning of September. When contestants were informed the event was for local people only, the herd was thinned to a more manageable 58 and now we are down to the Top 10.

Contestants submitted videos of themselves performing a comedy routine. Six of the top group were voted on by the public, with four others selected by our judges. We didn’t want it to be a popularity contest. This isn’t Canadian Idol after all — this will actually be good.

The finals take place Wednesday at 7 p.m. at The Oak at Canad Inns Transcona. Admission is $15 plus tax with proceeds being donated to the Mood Disorders Association of Manitoba.

Each contestant will have seven minutes to wow the judges: Winnipeg Free Press television/comedy writer Brad Oswald, Hot 103’s Ace Burpee, CityTV’s Evan Campbell and professional comedian Big Daddy Taz.

The winner will receive $1,000 from Canad Inns, a $2,000 watch set from W.K. Chan Jewellers and the coveted title of Winnipeg’s Wackiest Amateur Comedian 2010.

Last year’s wacky winner, Cara Lytwyn and Hot 103 host Steve Adams will host the show.

Here’s a brief look at the finalists in the Winnipeg’s Gone Wacky contest who agreed to answer our stupid questions in a series of even stupider emails.

 

Aisha Alfa

Age: A lady never tells… OK, OK, I’m 30!

Describe yourself in 50 words or less: I’m a super fun ball of energy looking to create happiness and joy in the universe! Love eating, playing soccer, my nieces and good pair of sweatpants.

What’s your day job? I’m a life coach and I also work for a wellness company promoting natural products.

Why do you work there? My boss is awesome… I’m self-employed!

If you had a theme song, what would it be and why? Rainbows, lollypops and sunshine; everything is WONDERFUL!!! because I believe everything truly is wonderful.

What’s your favourite joke? (Please keep it clean) Why is six scared of seven? Because Seven Eight Nine!! Hahahaha.

What does your family think of your sense of humour? They laugh, so I guess they like it… or else they are laughing at me… either way my desired result is achieved.

What makes you wacky? I know pi to 25 digits…

 

Ryan Ash

Age: 26

Describe yourself in 50 words or less: An insane sex robot sent to eat fried chicken and disobey the prime directive. I am programmed to tell jokes and win thousands of dollars. I burn books on behalf of religious organizations I have no affiliation with.

What’s your day job? I’m Sam Katz.

Why do you work there? Because nowhere else will put up with me.

If you had a theme song, what would it be and why? Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. Because I’m in touch with my femoral side.

What’s your favourite joke? P1: Knock knock. P2: Who’s there? P1: Corny newspaper interview question. P2: Corny newspaper question who? P1: (No response).

What does your family think of your sense of humour? It killed them.

What makes you wacky? Above average levels of ammonia in my bloodstream and a combination of insecurity and greed.

 

Kevin Dobbie

Age: 31

Describe yourself in 50 words or less: That’s a hard question. I guess humorous, tall, good cook, I never know what to say when someone asks me this sort of question.

What’s your day job? Direct service worker

Why do you work there? ‘Cause I’ve not been fired, and it’s rewarding.

If you had a theme song, what would it be and why? Trying to Find a Balance by Atmosphere, it kind of sums up life, always trying to find a balance.

What’s your favourite joke? Abstinence pledge by Bill Maher, or anything by Sam Kinison.

What does your family think of your sense of humour: Hard to say. I guess that for the most part it’s a good thing.

What makes you wacky? Too much coffee.

 

Cory Falvo

Age: 28

Describe yourself in 50 words or less: I’m pretty upbeat. I’m sort of like Dancing with the Stars, except I’m not a good dancer and I’m a nobody. Oh wait, I’m exactly like Dancing with the Stars.

What’s your day job? Analyst. The less I say, the more impressive it sounds.

Why do you work there? I had been a professional student, skipping meals for a long time. Thought I’d try something new.

If you had a theme song, what would it be and why? Tubthumping by Chumbawumba, because nobody listens to me unless they’re too drunk to leave the room.

What’s your favourite joke? Two cows are in a pasture. The first cow says “I’m pretty spooked about this mad cow disease. I’ve heard it’s contagious.”

“I’m not worried,” says the second cow. “I’m a penguin.”

What does your family think of your sense of humour? They’re just happy I’m not doing drugs.

What makes you wacky? I think humans in general are just wacky. We make permanent markers that smell like fruit and then give them to children.

 

Mike Johnston

Age: 28

Describe yourself in 50 words or less: 50 words? How do you really condense the essence of a man into such a small frame of reference? Could you tell Niagara Falls to describe its majesty in a thimble of its water? I just feel that… I’m already at 44 words? OK; passionate, positive and larger than life.

What’s your day job? Teacher

Why do you work there? Because it’s a new adventure every day and because I feel incredibly blessed that I get to work with and learn from such a phenomenal group of kids. I am lucky that I truly love coming in to work with these students; there’s no job like it in the world. I also feel like it matters in the grand scheme of things and that is important to me.

If you had a theme song, what would it be and why? The Touch by Stan Bush. Why? Because I’ve got the touch, I’ve got the poweeeeeeeer, YEAH! And I’ve got the moves, I know the streets, I break the rules and take the heat. I’m nobody’s fool.

What’s your favourite joke? “Knock, Knock.” “Who’s there?” “Owls.” “Owls who?” “Yeah, they do.”

What does your family think of your sense of humour? My father basically has the exact same sense of humour as I do, except he has a moustache and I do not. They’ve always been so supportive that even if they didn’t like my stuff, they’ve never let on. I mean, my mom’s never flat-out booed me at a performance, so that’s probably a good thing.

What makes you wacky? Chemical imbalance.

 

Sylvie Manaigre

Age: 24

Describe yourself in 50 words or less: You can dress me up AND take me out! You’re just going to curse my name the next morning.

What’s your day job? I am “professional networker” and aspiring comedian.

Why do you work there? Because I love what I do and I am NOT a morning person!

If you had a theme song, what would it be and why? When I Grow Up by The Pussycat Dolls. Because “when I grow up, I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have groupies…”

What’s your favourite joke? The Winnipeg Blue Bombers.

What does your family think of your sense of humour? Let’s just say I am lucky family members love unconditionally…

What makes you wacky? I always tell the truth; especially when I lie.

 

Nelson (Not Heather) Mayer

Age: 34

Describe yourself in 50 words or less: Cute and cuddly and yet harbouring homicidal rage. I’m also hard-working and dependable if I like what I’m doing or who I’m doing it for. Otherwise, I may promise to help you and then laugh manically as I leave you stranded.

What’s your day job? Freelance gynecologist

Why do you work there? They give me money and I like money. Plus my career as an underwear model just never took off.

If you had a theme song, what would it be and why? I Wanna be Sedated by the Ramones, because I have five kids at home.

What’s your favourite joke? What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, stupid. Apples don’t talk.

What does your family think of your sense of humour? The ones that haven’t disowned me would probably prefer I had an off button. The people that matter to me seem to enjoy it.

What makes you wacky? Life moves way too fast for me to not want to try to enjoy every single moment, even funerals can be funny if you didn’t like the deceased.

 

Amber Pohl

Age: A lady never tells. Also, you shut your face.

Describe yourself in 50 words or less: A gentle ray of sunshine brightening the lives of all I encounter.

What’s your day job? Astronaut-firefighter-doctor-vet-singer-lawyer-writer-CSI type person-marine biologist-artist-race car driver-superhero.

Why do you work there? I had some pretty big dreams as a kid, and my formidable intellect allowed me to pursue them all.

If you had a theme song, what would it be and why? Sometimes When We Touch by Dan Hill. Because, let’s face it, occasionally the honesty can just be too much.

What’s your favourite joke? What kind of bees make milk? Boo bees.

What does your family think of your sense of humour? Underwhelmed and mortified in equal measures.

What makes you wacky? Entering local contests without any discernible experience, qualifications or talent and getting in way over my head.

 

Benjamin Walker

Age: 30

Describe yourself in 50 words or less: I am originally from Regina, moved to Winnipeg a few years ago. I enjoy watching or playing most sports, supporting the arts, and just kicking back. (Is this for a dating website?) My friends would describe me as not funny and a terrible swimmer.

What’s your day job? A 9-to-5er

Why do you work there? I enjoy my job, and it pays the bills.

If you had a theme song, what would it be and why? Rod Stewart’s Some Guys Have All the Luck. It’s all in the lyrics, the reason why I like the tune. Rod’s music is very underrated.

What’s your favourite joke? A neighbour was watching a little boy playing with a ball and bat in his backyard. “I’m the greatest hitter in the world,” the boy exclaimed as he threw the ball into the air. He swung with all his might but missed the ball and fell down himself. “Strike one,” he says as he gets up. He throws it up again and swings. Again the ball falls to the ground with a thud. “Strike two,” he yells, still undeterred. “I’m the greatest,” he says as he swings once again hitting only air as the ball falls to the ground. This time he dances around the backyard as he yells “Strike three… I’m the greatest pitcher in the world!”

What does your family think of your sense of humour? Not much… No, I would like to think they enjoy it to a certain extent, but I believe their feelings might fall into the love/hate category.

What makes you wacky? Umm… not sure I know what makes me wacky. I am a lifelong Detroit Lions fan, so I guess you have to be a bit wacky to continue to cheer for them year after year. I also like to wear jean shorts and a white T-shirt when I go swimming.