Processing her grief

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This article was published 06/08/2017 (2999 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Jessica Houle makes sure to spend a little time each day talking to her sister and brother and letting them both know how things are going, even though deep down she knows she’ll never get the chance to hear either of their voices again.

“I just talk to my sister and brother like they are here, but they aren’t here,” 27-year-old Jessica of Winnipeg said. “But I still talk to them like they are here, that’s a big part of how I deal.

“I tell them what’s going on with my life, how it would be if they were still here, and how their kids are doing.

“That’s how I process it.”

While most would find it difficult to imagine the pain of suddenly losing a sibling to a violent or suspicious death, Jessica lives every day with the pain of suddenly losing two siblings, and all in a matter of three years.

Jessica’s younger sister Cherisse Houle was only 17-years-old when her body was found face down in a creek in the RM of Rosser, 50 metres from Provincial Road 221 and approximately 16 kilometres west of Winnipeg.

Three years later, Jessica’s older brother, 24-year-old Jordan Houle, was shot to death while walking with another man on Maryland Street in Winnipeg just after midnight on Sept. 29, 2012.

Three men were arrested in connection with Jordan’s shooting, and Jessica said one man is currently in prison serving time for the killing.

There has never been an arrest or any answers in the death of Cherisse Houle. Along with the unimaginable grief of losing two siblings, Jessica now lives with the unanswered questions about why the girl who was her sister and her best friend is now gone.

When asked to explain her pain, she said an explanation is simply not possible.

“I don’t know what I’m going through,” she said. “It’s an ongoing process. You don’t ever lose it and you don’t ever stop thinking about it.

“It’s always there.”

Cherisse Houle was living in Winnipeg in the summer of 2009, and was a mother to an 18-month-old son.

Police have said she was last seen at her home in downtown Winnipeg on June 26, 2009 and was reported missing later that day.

On July 1, 2009 construction workers found her lifeless body in a creek west of Winnipeg.

For Jessica, losing Cherisse created a massive void in her life as she not only lost her little sister, but also the one person she knew she could lean on and trust no matter what life threw at her.

Cherisse and Jessica grew up together in Winnipeg. Jessica said they were close from an early age, and spent most of their time together when they were young.

“Nobody has a real friend like their sister,” Jessica said. “What I miss the most is if I needed someone she was there. She was always there.

“That’s my best friend and now I don’t have that anymore.”

Jessica still remembers everything about the day she got the horrific news her sister was gone, and said when relatives showed up at her residence, she knew something was wrong before any of them said anything.

“My auntie came to the door; I was on the balcony at my place on Sargent Avenue. My auntie came buzzing at the house and I thought it was going to be something to do with me, but then I saw my nephew and my uncle,” she said.

Jessica said that was when she began frantically asking where her sister was.

“I knew right away, I just knew right away,” Jessica said. “I said ‘What’s wrong, what’s wrong?’ I knew something was wrong.

“I just said ‘Where’s my sister? Where’s my sister?’”

An RCMP spokesperson said in an email the “suspicious death” of Cherisse Houle continues to be investigated, and said the investigation is currently “very active.”

“On June 26th 2009 Cherisse was reported missing to the Winnipeg Police Service. This was initially investigated by members of the Winnipeg Police Service,” an RCMP spokesperson said.

“On July 1st 2009, the body of Cherisse was discovered in the R.M. of Rosser MB. Due to the suspicious circumstances of her death, members of the RCMP Serious Crime Unit entered into their investigation.

“Project Devote took over this investigation in January of 2012.”

This investigation continues by Project Devote, an integrated unit that includes RCMP, the Winnipeg Police Service and Manitoba Justice.

“Project Devote’s focus is investigating homicides of exploited and/or missing exploited persons where foul play is suspected. The major difference between a Winnipeg Police Service (WPS) investigation and a Project Devote investigation is Project Devote is an integrated team made up of WPS and RCMP officers,” a RCMP spokesperson said in an email.

“The team works together on every investigation, sharing and using resources as needed in the best interest of the investigation.”

A Winnipeg Free Press report from July 4, 2009 claimed sources told the Free Press Houle had an extensive youth criminal record at the time of her death and had been dealing with addictions issues, but she had enrolled in a program at Ka Ni Kanichihk, a downtown Aboriginal counselling and job training service, and had hoped to turn her life around.

RCMP also confirmed “there is reason to believe that Cherisse was vulnerable to exploitation.”

“Cherisse was a 17-year-old vulnerable exploited person. The circumstances surrounding her death were suspicious and foul-play still cannot be ruled out. Project Devote continues to actively investigate the circumstances surrounding her death,” said an RCMP spokesperson in an email.

Police would not say if they believe Cherisse died in Winnipeg or in the RM of Rosser where her body was discovered, and would not comment about any current or former suspects.

“This is an ongoing investigation and as such we are unable to discuss specific investigative steps, evidence and/or suspects,” RCMP said.

Project Devote is now asking for any and all information from the public that could move the investigation forward.

“Project Devote welcomes any information from the public. The public should not assume that the police know what they know. If anyone has any information at all regarding this or any other investigation, please call the police or Manitoba Crime Stoppers at 1 800-222-TIPS (8477). The Project Devote Tip Line is 1-888-673-3316.”

Jessica said she is now disturbed to think about the fact there may be people out there that know what happened to her sister, and haven’t come forward.

“Somebody knows something,” Jessica said. “There is always somebody that knows something and they’re not coming forward.

She now urges anyone with information to think about their own family and the ones they love.

“If I had a message for anyone that knows something about my sister I would say ‘you have family out there, you have a brother or a sister, and if somebody you knew was gone and I knew something about it I would go to the cops immediately.’”

Although she seeks justice for her sister and her family, she said losing her brother has taught her “there is never really closure.”

“My brother’s killer got sentenced and that didn’t do anything except put someone in jail and let me know who killed my brother,” Jessica said. “With Cherisse, just knowing would give us some closure, but that’s not really closure because it’s not going to do nothing but just put someone in jail.

“But I just want to know who did this to my sister and why they did it.”

Since losing her sister and a brother Jessica has also watched as the loss of her siblings tore what is left of her family apart, and she often thinks about what life would be like if they were both still around.

“I think we’d all just be living in the same area and visiting and having a real family, but ever since my sister and my brother went away, my family has been torn apart.

“Everyone is just not getting along.”

‘I just talk to my sister and brother like they are here, but they aren’t here… I still talk to them like they are here, that’s a big part of how I deal’

She said all she can hope for now is that Project Devote is doing everything they can to find out what happened to Cherisse.

“I only met Project Devote twice and I don’t know what they are doing, but I know they have solved a couple cases since then and I pray to God that they are looking hard at my sister’s case and following up on all leads,” she said.

Jessica has always struggled to understand how and why anyone would want to do harm to a 17-year-old girl, and to someone that she, and many others, loved so much.

“She was just a little girl, my sister was so small,” she said. “If you knew her personally you would know she was just a tiny girl.

“Seventeen is so young, and she just looked like she was 12. That’s how tiny she was.”

Jessica now goes through life without her sister or brother, and is left to wonder why her sister is gone.

“My sister was such a nice person and she didn’t do anything wrong to nobody. She was a sweetheart, my sister was so nice and she didn’t do nobody wrong, and I don’t understand why.

Why is she gone? I don’t get it.

Why her?

Dave Baxter is a freelance reporter, photographer and editor who writes about Manitoba crimes for the Sunday Special.

crimefilesmanitoba@gmail.com

Twitter:@davebbbaxter