Lack of answers ‘a different kind of grief’

BRANDON — Fear, panic, disbelief and pain.

Kelly Lavallee was consumed by those emotions when her son, Dwayne, disappeared in 2018 at age 21.

Lavallee continues to seek answers more than seven years later.

“Not having any answers is a different kind of grief. There’s no closure, no clear ending, just constant wondering,” she said. “Our family was forever changed.”

Lavallee said the last time she had contact with her son was by text on the morning of Sept. 21, 2018.

In the following days, she repeatedly messaged him, but received no response or indication that he had viewed the messages.

She reported him missing from Skownan First Nation on Sept. 26.

It was unlike Dwayne not to call or text; he had always kept in close contact with his mother.

“When I realized he was missing… my whole world just stopped,” she said. “As a mother, we feel it in our body when something isn’t right when it comes to our babies. Every hour felt like a lifetime.”

Dwayne was last seen on Sept. 22 at around 2 p.m. on Ebb and Flow First Nation, a community roughly 230 kilometres northwest of Winnipeg, RCMP said in a news release one day after he was reported missing.

Four days after the report, Dwayne’s vehicle was found on a road in the Rural Municipality of Lakeshore, which prompted Mounties to search the area with the help of search and rescue team members and police dog services, along with the Civilian Air Search and Rescue Association, the Office of the Fire Commissioner and local volunteers.

Lavallee said there was an outpouring of support as people from across the province joined them in the search for Dwayne.

“Seeing them show up from all over the place with open hearts, helping us search, offering prayers, food, emotional support… means everything to me. (It) reminds me that we’re not alone and my son mattered to so many people.”

In 2022, RCMP issued a news release that said the Ste. Rose du Lac detachment continues to investigate Dwayne’s disappearance.

Lavallee said Dwayne was quiet and shy, but when he was around people he trusted, he was “like a little comedian.”

“He was soft-hearted and enjoyed being around family. He loved working, being outdoors,” she said. “He loved going hunting and fishing in the evenings.”

Her favourite memories of Dwayne are the simple ones, such as seeing him smile and laugh. She said he always looked out for his nieces and nephews and played with them.

She laughed as she recalled one time when Dwayne, more than six feet in height, was riding around on her grandson’s bicycle.

“The way my son disappeared left a deep mark in our entire family. We had no choice but to learn how to carry grief while still moving forward,” Lavallee said.

Holidays, birthdays and milestones are especially painful. She said family members gather on his birthday, which is Jan. 1, and they have a memorial birthday along with a New Year’s dinner.

Lavallee continues to look for her son’s remains. Every summer she organizes a search with close family and friends to cover the area surrounding where his vehicle was found.

In the early days of searching, Lavallee said they hired a helicopter. Over the years, including this past summer, she brought in cadaver dogs, who are trained to detect human remains.

“It still leaves a big empty feeling inside of me, but we don’t stop,” Lavallee said.

Lavallee, along with some family members, runs a Facebook group titled “Bring Dwayne Lavallee Home,” in which they post updates about Dwayne’s case.

“Through this journey, I’ve learned that families of missing murdered men are part of a much larger community than most people realize. Becoming a part of this community connected me with other mothers with no answers,” she said.

These new relationships have become a source of strength for Lavallee.

“Today, I advocate for them, support them, help raise awareness by sharing my son’s story. No mother should have to walk this alone.”

She said she will never stop emphasizing that if anyone knows anything about Dwayne, they should reach out to her directly or the Ste. Rose du Lac RCMP detachment.

Dwayne was described by RCMP as a 6-2 Indigenous man weighing roughly 200 pounds. He also had a tattoo of a small cross on his left hand and a tattoo that reads “can’t stop” on his right arm.

— Brandon Sun