Let empathy spark compassion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/05/2022 (1585 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

While spring has finally found its way and smiles are beginning to reappear, there are still many people burdened with worry. That’s because there’s so much negativity in the world. The stock market has taken a sudden dive, COVID is still causing challenges, American women’s rights are on the chopping block and the war in Ukraine is on everyone’s mind. With respect to the workplace, many employees are not comfortable returning to their job site, so the issue of remote work or reduced work weeks are very much part of management/employee discussions. It’s no wonder people are still feeling anxious.

What does this mean for managers? It means they must focus on both empathy and compassion in their leadership style. Throughout the past two years, managers have focused on being empathetic toward anyone who has had some sort of pandemic challenge. People’s pain was very real, so understanding came easily.

Yet, many researchers and senior executives say today’s managers need more than empathy. In fact, they suggest empathy might very well cloud one’s judgement and become a trap. While it is agreed empathy is needed to make a connection with an employee’s pain, these thought leaders suggest managers need to think of empathy as a spark that enables them to lead with compassion.

Compassion is described as the ability to take one’s feelings and thoughts and turn them into action. It’s all about showing empathy for employees while focusing on what action is best for the individual, the team and the organization. It means not treating employees as commodities that could be quickly cast out of your organization. Instead, compassion is all about supporting employees and working to make the best of everyone’s skills and talents. It also means managers need to create an organization-wide culture of empathy and compassion where employees feel a strong sense of commitment.

The following tips will assist managers to develop the skill of both empathy and compassion:

Take a moment — It’s easy to become absorbed in someone else’s pain but remember, a manager’s decisions must be fair to both employees and the organization. Therefore, it is important to step away from an emotional situation and take a moment to get some perspective. This creates an emotional distance that will enable the manager to look at all elements of an issue and find the best solution to a problem.

Be a good listener — Many individuals suffering through the pain of a personal challenge often just want to be heard. They want their manager to listen and to understand. This means listening without interrupting and listening with body language that shows true attention.

Avoid “I” stories – sometimes a manager will innocently counter an employee’s story with one of their own, thinking their personal story will assist the employee to see a solution. Don’t do it! This approach not only detracts from the employee’s problem but gives the appearance of discounting the employee all together.

Take a coaching approach — A coaching approach means that managers recognize and accept that employees have the ability within them to solve their own issues. Focus on helping the employee draw on their own resources. Ask simple questions such as, “What do you need?” “How can I support you?” or “How have you dealt with this in the past?” Avoid being too directive or judgmental.

Be a constant learner — Managers are not expected to have all the answers. Instead, know that success will come by building a team of strong, intelligent employees. Understand individual employee strengths, invite this team to critique ideas and present alternative solutions. Listen and learn instead of monopolizing meetings with one’s own ideas. Ask thoughtful questions, challenge assumptions and make collaborative team decisions.

Be participative — Compassionate managers use influence rather than authority. They encourage rather than demand. They are inspirational and seek to create a collaborative, participative approach where employees are part of organizational problem solving. This enhances employee engagement and improves productivity and employee morale, and reduces turnover.

Avoid internal competitiveness — Deal with unhealthy competition between other managers and their individual departments as quickly as possible. Know that internal competitiveness will create an artificial barrier that impacts employee morale as well as overall productivity. Conflict destroys compassion.

Model the way — Gaining respect as an empathetic and compassionate manager is developed through consistently modelling one’s values every step of the way. It means acting from the heart and being authentic in how empathy and compassion are demonstrated. In other words, a manager must focus on modelling the behaviour they want others to demonstrate. Walk the talk!

Create a shared vision — Readers might be surprised at how many employees do not understand the mission or vision of their employer. These individuals simply have a job! I truly believe it is important to help employees understand the company vision and how they can contribute to it. Managers that invite employees to help develop a vision create a special energy that increases productivity and morale.

Show gratitude — Everyone wants to be appreciated for what they do and how they contribute to their work. This can be done daily as a manager encounters their employees, reviews work or learns of special-project success. Employees want to be treated with kindness and appreciation and will remember the interaction for a long time. Where possible, celebrate special work-related milestones as well as ways to mark personal or family accomplishments. Showing gratitude leads to higher morale and employee loyalty.

Over the past two years, empathy and compassion have become two of the most talked about leadership and management traits in university research, in recently published books and in everyday management meetings. They are seen as the most important skills for keeping employee motivation high in such a challenging work environment and world. However, can empathy and compassion be learned?

According to Jeremy Sutton, a writer and researcher in the area of human capacity, the answer is a resounding yes. In his view, it is all about developing a sense of curiosity and stepping out of one’s comfort zone to try something new. It’s about taking time to examine one’s own biases and to seek feedback from others. Finally, it’s about making a deliberate effort to walk in someone else’s shoes.

Source: Connect with Empathy, Lead with Compassion, Rasmus Hougaard, Jackqueline Carter, Marissa Aton, Harvard Business Review, Dec. 23, 2021; The Five Practices of Exemplary Leadership Model, the Leadership Challenge, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2022, Jeremy Sutton, PhD, PositivePsychology.com

Barbara J. Bowes, FCPHR, B.Ed, M.Ed, CCP is a human resource professional, author, radio personality, speaker, executive coach and workshop leader. She can be reached at barb@bowesleadership.com