A mother, a sister speak of their loss

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/10/2007 (6583 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

… My life will never be the same again. I feel as if I have died with her, too. One will never know until it happens to them. I have gone through a tough life, being poor, and raised five children on my own. I didn’t have a good life until my daughter sponsored me and “Apple” (Roxanne’s nickname) to live with her here in Canada. I thought it would be the beginning of a new and good life, and not the end of it.

I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye. She looked so happy when she left the house that night, all dolled up and carrying a Valentine present that we wrapped together. I jokingly asked if I can have one of the presents she had.

I thought that was going to be one of the happiest days of my daughter’s life. She even asked me to look out the window to see if I could see the car that was waiting for her outside. I said I could only see the headlights. I didn’t know that would be the last time I was going to see and talk to my daughter.

I feel so betrayed by this and regret that I let her go out that night. She had no idea she was in danger. I have so much regret and always the question of “What if?” My feelings of hurting are beyond imagination. I could write and speak about being hurt, but it will never end.

ANA MARIA DELUZ, sister of Roxanne Fernando

I remember when she was born. It was a very special date because I was celebrating my birthday. I was with my aunt, cousins and brothers celebrating when I found out my mom had given birth to a healthy baby girl.

It made by birthday extra special because I found out I had a baby sister. I will never, ever forget that day because that’s how my life of being a big sister began.

I became a second mother to her. I took her under my wing, took care of her from the very beginning, since our mother had to work a lot. I have so many loving memories of her, from registering her first grade of school until graduating from elementary. I watched her grow up and that became part of my life and now that she’s gone, it’s like losing a part of myself.

I miss her so much that I’m still hoping one day she’ll walk through the door with a big beautiful smile on her face. She was the kind of person that would brighten up the house, always dancing and singing.

She was a very caring person, too, always ready to lend a helping hand to those she loved, especially her family back home who she supported financially.

…There are absolutely no words to describe how it feels when someone you truly love is unjustly taken away in an instant. I am not who I used to be and probably never will be. There is a big hole in my heart, and my family’s heart.

I am now left with only memories of my sister and no words to adequately describe the depths of my sorrow. I not only lost a sister, but an irreplaceable friend. We knew each other like no one else does, and had an understanding that only sisters can provide each other.

I have this feeling of regret because I brought her to Canada. I remember crying in front of a judge for permission for her to be able to live here so that she could have a better life. Now I am crying in front of a judge because her life was taken.