Moody Manitoba Monsters

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/03/2008 (6411 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Almost every Saturday, a well-dressed woman with perfect hair and makeup places a shiny SUV right in front of my home, blocking access to the path I’ve shovelled from the front walk to the curb.

These women are only seeking a place to park while they get their hair and nails done down the street. But I like to call them monsters, because only malevolent beings of unknown origin would deprive a Winnipegger of his right to saunter down his own boulevard without having to manoeuvre around expensive-looking luxury vehicles.

Truth be told, I’ve never met a real monster, mostly because monsters are in short supply in urban areas.

Sure, there are some fairly bad people out there, but no real horror-movie creatures, which is kind of a bummer if you’ve grown up watching horror movies.

Even when you leave the city, Manitoba’s monsters are a disappointment, as they all seem shared or borrowed from somewhere else.

Politicians talk about the brain drain, but they should really be addressing the provincial monster deficit. Here are the creatures known to inhabit our monstrous province, at this very moment:

MANIPOGO

Habitat:

Most commonly associated with Lake Manitoba, but also said to inhabit Lake Winnipeg, Lake Winnipegosis and Cedar Lake, among other large bodies of water.

Anatomy:

A Loch Ness-style sea monster, either resembling a plesiosaur — a Jurassic-era marine reptile with a long neck and flippers — or an oversized serpent with a horse-like head.

Easily mistaken for: Lake sturgeon or river otters.

Social history:

Oversized marine creatures have figured in aboriginal oral traditions for centuries, but Manipogo really took off in Manitoba after British Columbia caught Ogopogo fever in the 1920s.

Made in Manitoba?

The name Manipogo sounds Manitoban enough, but this beast is completely derivative of its B.C. namesake. The fact that supposed sightings have dropped off dramatically during the past 40 years does not bode well for the creature, which marine biologists consider a myth.

Efforts to locate Manipogo bones and carcasses during the 1960s were not successful. But you can visit Manipogo Provincial Park — during the summer, head north from Ste. Rose du Lac on Provincial Road 276 until you reach Lake Manitoba.

THE WENDIGO

Habitat:

The pristine boreal forests of eastern, central and northern Manitoba.

Anatomy:

A tall, gaunt and very pale humanoid figure, with the skin pulled back from its facial bones, usually exposing its teeth, gums, nasal cartilage and eye sockets. May also have gangrenous or decaying flesh and is said to smell pretty bad.

Easily mistaken for:

A starving human being, or a European fashion model.

Social history:

According to Cree and Ojibway traditions, Wendigos are starving human beings who resort to cannabalism and then cannot stop craving human flesh, either because they transform into monsters or become possessed by malevolent spirits.

In pre-European times, the stories probably served to enforce strong cultural taboos against eating human beings, which makes sense considering the harsh environment of Canada’s northern forests. The fear of the Wendigo has declined in recent times, though there are 20th-century examples of Canadians who believed they were possessed by the ancient spirits — or tried to use Wendigo possession as an excuse for killing and eating other people.

There are also post-modern interpretations of the Wendigo as a metaphor for the fatal consequences that result from humanity’s failure to live in harmony with nature. Pop-culture conceptions of the Wendigo, meanwhile, are completely non-traditional, as the monster has been depicted in video games and horror movies as a shapeshifter or werewolf.

Made in Manitoba?

Although Cree and Ojibway in this province believed in the Wendigo, so have First Nations across Canada, from the Northwest Territories to Labrador. This is one terrible beast we have to share with the rest of the nation.

SASQUATCH

Habitat:

Also in the boreal forests, though supposed sightings have been concentrated along the northern basin of Lake Winnipeg as well as in and around Cedar Lake.

Anatomy:

A large, humanoid or bear-like creature with shaggy brown or tan fur and padded feet, usually observed walking upright.

Easily mistaken for:

A black bear or former Winnipeg Blue Bombers offensive lineman Chris Walby.

Social history:

Almost every mountainous or remote region of the planet has some form of Sasquatch, bigfoot or Yeti legend, with supposed sightings concentrated in the American Rockies and the Himalayas of India and Nepal. Again, First Nations in Manitoba also speak of tall humanoid beasts, and sightings are still reported, most recently at Norway House in 2005.

Few credible biologists believe in the Sasquatch, though some amateur wildlife enthusiasts hold out hope that sightings of mysterious creatures may indicate the survival of the Plains Grizzly, a bear subspecies hunted to extinction more than a century ago.

Made in Manitoba?

The continent-wide popularity of the Sasquatch legend means we have no right to claim Bigfoot as our own. But least we’ll always have Walby.

bartley.kives@freepress.mb.ca