PERSPECTIVE: What the Hill?

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 08/01/2006 (7238 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Most Canadians were not amused when Parliament was dissolved before Christmas. Well, today’s the day to get your jollies in.

As is our election-time custom, a crack team of Free Press reporters and editors has assembled a series of silly pop-culture and lifestyle questions and put them to four high-profile candidates, each representing one of the four major federalist parties.

The purpose of the exercise is not to test the candidates’ knowledge, but to learn a little bit about their personalities. As usual, we snuck in a couple of serious trivia questions for the sake of variety.

Taking part in this year’s quiz were Liberal incumbent Anita Neville (Winnipeg South Centre), Tory MP Brian Pallister (Portage-Lisgar), NDP veteran Pat Martin (Winnipeg Centre) and first-time Green candidate Brad Bird (Brandon-Souris), an outdoorsman and former Free Press reporter.

All of them deserve a hand for even agreeing to this gig.

Here’s how the candidates fared:

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk, inside your trunk?

Anita Neville (Liberal, Winnipeg South-Centre): Well, you should see what’s inside my trunk. When I’m away my cousin uses my car, so he has some of his stuff in there.

Brad Bird (Green, Brandon-Souris): I’m going to make a piece of art and sell it, and maybe make a bit of a fort.

Brian Pallister (Conservative, Portage-Lisgar): Is this some Christmas rap song? I’m supposed to know the next line to that, aren’t I, and you’re not going to tell me.

Pat Martin (NDP, Winnipeg Centre): First stop is the dump on E-Day plus one. It always has been. Out go the signs and the stakes. You recycle what you can and dump the rest, because I’m packing a lot of gear that’s superfluous to day-to-day life.

 

What does Gwen Stefani mean when she says she ain’t no Hollaback Girl?

Neville: I don’t know, sorry.

Bird: Beats me.

Pallister: It raises some possibilities I think I would just as soon not speculate on.

Martin: She’s no fan of the Hollabacks, a sports team.

 

What’s on your iPod?

Neville: I don’t have an iPod, but I have lots of music. It ranges from contemporary Canadian to international folk, to classical music. Some jazz.

Bird: I don’t own one.

Pallister: That I can tell you. I have a wide variety of music, including some authentic, Look Sharp Joe Jackson stuff and a fair bit Spanish and Brazilian music.

Martin: Ray St. Germain, and Harry Manx.

 

Do you have a problem with 50 Cent?

Neville: I’m not sure what you’re talking about.

Bird: Not at all.

Pallister: He’s a perfect example of the price you pay for free speech.

Martin: No, I’m not into censorship.

 

What happened to Nick and Jessica?

Neville: I just read about Nick and Jessica. I can’t tell you — it went in one ear and out the other.

Bird: They probably got divorced.

Pallister: That really rings a bell. Wasn’t it Jessica who was on the farm, with that home-movie girl, Paris… Hilton? Did Nick and Jessica make a home movie, too?

Martin: Divorced! No, separated.

 

What do you think kept Martha Stewart busy while she was in jail?

Neville: I understand she was working on the rehabilitation of some of her classmates or cohorts. I don’t know whether she got involved in the kitchen in the jail. Maybe she gave them some tips on economical cooking for large numbers of people.

Bird: Answering fan mail.

Pallister: It’s likely macrame, and that’s a good thing.

Martin: Managing her portfolio.

 

Which top-rated TV show best describes your party — Lost, Desperate Housewives or CSI?

Neville: I don’t know what Lost is. Probably CSI.

Bird: None of the above. It would probably be The Red Green Show.

Pallister: It’s kind of a given the last one would be most appropriate, given the Liberal record.

Martin: Nobody likes the stink of desperation. I’d say CSI, because we’re often probing into the minutiae of issues.

 

What CBC personality would be more fun on a long road trip — Rick Mercer, Rex Murphy or Don Cherry?

Neville: They’ve all got their different attributes. I think I’d go with Mercer. He’s lots of fun. Although when I did have an opportunity to do a bit with him, he was all business.

Bird: Don Cherry. He’s a down-to-earth kind of guy with a good sense of humour.

Pallister: I just love the way Rex Murphy talks. I think it would be relaxing travelling with him. With Mercer, my face would hurt, by the end.

Martin: Rex Murphy. I think Rick Mercer would wear a little thin after the first couple of miles. Rex has more substance.

 

What fantasy realm would you most like to visit — Narnia, Middle Earth or Hogwarts?

Neville: Hogwarts, just because it’s the least known to me. It would be an adventure.

Bird: I guess Hogwarts. I’ve always wanted to be a bit of a musician. There might be a chance down there.

Pallister: I’d like to make the Liberals disappear, so I think Hogwarts would probably be good for learning how to do that.

Martin: Narnia. I like the mysticism, but it has an underlying depth to it, too. There’s more depth than fluff.

 

What’s your favourite all-time movie?

Neville: Let me be parochial. My daughter Sarah was in two of Guy Maddin’s movies, Archangel and Careful. In the overall scheme of things — I’m dating myself here — probably A Man For All Seasons.

Bird: That’s easy. The Sound Of Music. Julie Andrews sings like an angel, and you gotta like the way they outfox those Nazis.

Pallister: Shawshank Redemption. It’s a well-acted, poignant, powerful portrayal of the human will triumphing over adversity.

Martin: I just saw Forrest Gump on TV last night. I was really moved, more than I was the first two or three times. There is some real depth in that. I have a lot of respect for film as a medium, so I shouldn’t be frivolous with this. Of course, this is a funny article.

 

What was the last book you read?

Neville: I read several books at a time. I have Peter Newman’s book, Here There Be Dragons. I have a book by Margaret Drabble by my bed, Gates Of Ivory. And I read a lot of mysteries — I just recently finished Gail Bowen’s latest and I have a new one by somebody called Louise Anderson.

Bird: I’m reading a book by Nevil Shute right now, Pastoral.

Pallister: The Joy Of Sex.

Martin: The autobiography of John Stuart Mill. (Ed) Broadbent gave it to me and said, "Read this." I thought I’d better.

 

What was the last performing arts event you attended?

Neville: Probably the Warehouse (Theatre’s) Cul de Sac.

Bird: I attended a play at the local theatre in Deloraine. It was a visiting Prairie Theatre Exchange troupe.

Pallister: My sister did a play. She was part of Marvin’s Room, at the Glesby Centre in Portage. It was really well done.

Martin: Sierra Noble, at a fundraiser for Raven Thundersky’s family.

 

How many cars do you own and what are they?

Neville: One grey Chevy Malibu. I don’t know whether it’s a ’99 or 2000.

Bird: I own one car, a 1986 Ford Escort wagon.

Pallister: I own a 1993 Oldsmobile touring sedan and a 1997 BMW.

Martin: Two. A 2005 Honda CRV and a 2000 Volkswagen Passat.

 

Where did you meet your husband/wife?

Neville: My former husband, please. At university.

Bird: I’m divorced. But I met my wife at church, in Deloraine.

Pallister: At a basketball game at Riddell (Hall). We were both watching. Brandon was playing the U of W, and she was playing for the U of M at the time, so she was there watching the opposition. I was a graduate of Brandon and I played for the Bobcats, so I was watching my old team.

Martin: In Dawson City, Yukon. I lived there for five years. I worked in the asbestos mines, which is not a career path I’d recommend to anybody. She was a waitress slinging hash in a local saloon.

 

What happens if I put you on rollerblades?

Neville: I just got a new knee two months ago. The old me wouldn’t have tried it. The new me certainly would.

Bird: I would probably not be able to stop.

Pallister: Painful things. Probably 911 calls.

Martin: Carnage!

 

What’s your favourite restaurant in Manitoba, outside your own riding?

Neville: I only eat in my riding. I guess Kelekis.

Bird: There’s a Greek restaurant on Corydon I like, Niko’s.

Pallister: Café Carlo. I also like Amici.

Martin: There’s a Chinese place on south Pembina we go to all the time, in a stripmall where Winners is. Sun Fortune.

 

What goes in a tortiere?

Neville: Ground pork, drippings and fried onions. I haven’t made one in years.

Bird: I don’t know.

Pallister: My teeth.

Martin: It’s 50-50 — one horse, one rabbit. That’s what I was told in Ottawa.

 

How about shmoo torte?

Neville: It’s an angel food nutcake. There are several different recipes. You can make it with walnuts or pecans. You slice it and then layer it with whipping cream and caramel sauce. It’s a Manitoba delicacy.

Bird: You’ve got me there.

Pallister: I haven’t got a hot clue and I don’t want to say I’ll eat it, because I’m not 100 per cent sure.

Martin: Probably marzipan or something.

 

Which four First Nations live in Manitoba?

Neville: Cree, Ojibway, Dene and are there Saulteaux here?

Bird: We’ve got Cree, we’ve got Saulteaux and we have Chipewyan. Some would say Inuit as well.

Pallister: The Métis nation, I would say. The Chippewa we could argue about. The Republic of Iceland and the Republic of Manitoba, we can’t argue about.

Martin: The obvious are the Cree and the Ojibway. But there are Dene and there are Sioux.

 

Which of the following places are you likely to find a cougar: Riding Mountain, the Whiteshell or the Palomino Club?

Neville: I’ll say the Palomino Club.

Bird: Ha. All three!

Pallister: There was a cougar sighted several years ago south of Rossendale, but there would be cougar sightings further north as well.

Martin: Realistically, I know there’s been cougars in the Whiteshell.

 

Please name two endangered species found in Manitoba.

Neville: I don’t know that I can do that.

Bird: The burrowing owl and the yellow lady’s slipper.

Pallister: That’s easy. That’s the Liberals and New Democrats.

Martin: I’m the sponsor for one. The World Wildlife Fund assigned an endangered species to each MP. Mine was a little toad, but I don’t know the name of it and I’m not even sure if it was a Manitoba thing. Let’s say the peregrine falcon and the great snowy owl.

 

OK, so the game’s tied in the 10th end. Would you rather hit or draw?

Neville: I don’t play. Probably draw.

Bird: I would rather draw.

Pallister: I’m a former provincial curling champ. I would draw.

Martin: Hit.

 

Your party wins a majority. Do you pony up any money to bring the NHL back to Winnipeg?

Neville: Personally, or the government? You know the desire here in Winnipeg to bring the NHL back. If it was a reasonable option, I’d do what I can.

Bird: It would be great to have another NHL team here, but I think the responsibility for that has to lie with the private sector.

Pallister: Every day! Do you know how much money was spent on advertising for the Ottawa Senators? Don’t get me started on eastern Canadian teams, vs. the west. Like I said, every day.

Martin: No. Categorically.

 

What seatless party holds the best parties — the Greens, the Christian Heritage people or the Marijuana party?

Neville: I can only assume the Marijuana party.

Bird: I’m not much of a party person myself, but I think the Green party can put on a pretty good show.

Pallister: The Christian Heritage. It’s for a number of reasons I don’t want to disclose right now. Suffice it to say it’s a very good time and you don’t regret it the next day.

Martin: I would say the Greens, just because the Marijuana party probably couldn’t get it together. They might set a date, but you don’t know if it will ever happen.

 

Which of the Bloc MPs is really a closet federalist?

Neville: I can’t think of one.

Bird: Probably more of them than we know.

Pallister: There are a few, you know. I won’t (name names because) it might help the Liberals if that got out. I think they actually all are, once they get to Ottawa.

Martin: There have been some, too. There was that attractive woman who was a model for Playboy once. It was quite a sensational thing. But she didn’t run last time, so that’s not fair.

 

If you had to marry someone of the same sex, who would you pick?

Neville: Oh God. I’m not going there.

Bird: I’m not going there at all.

Pallister: I think Shaquille O’Neal would be a gentle lover. Oh, they’re going to love that down in Winkler.

Martin: These are tough ones. Scotty Brison, because we joked about that in the past. When he announced he was going to get engaged, I said ‘Make sure you pay cash for the ring.’ That’s a career killer, otherwise.

 

Discounting this interview, what’s the most idiotic thing a reporter has ever asked you?

Neville: There’s been some dumb ones. Maybe it’s your next question.

Bird: Oh, golly. "Did it feel good to finish your walk to Churchill?" Yes, I was asked that. You’re damn right it did, baby!

Pallister: I often get "How tall are you?" but I don’t know if that’s really idiotic. But I know the most idiotic: Post-Stronach, I got "Would you consider joining the Liberal party?" That was hilarious.

Martin: I have a lot of respect for reporters. I’m blanking out.

 

Finally, why can’t we all just get along?

Neville: I think many of us do get along. Some, by nature, just choose not to.

Bird: Ego, and pride.

Pallister: If we all get along, some of us aren’t thinking.

Martin: Egos. It’s the great enemy of reason.

 

Questions by Bartley Kives, Geoff Kirbyson, Patti Edgar, Mary Agnes Welch, Paul Wiecek, Andrew Maxwell and Helen Fallding.