Fruit has a wicked side

Opinion

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This article was published 17/06/2017 (3013 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

PREPARE to be terrified, because there is a new hazard lurking in your supermarket’s produce aisle.

We are referring to the seemingly harmless avocado, a trendy fruit famed as the prime ingredient in guacamole and beloved by millennials who post photos of their avocado-on-toast breakfasts online.

This so-called superfood is packed with healthy fats, vitamin E, fibre and minerals, but a crop of recent news reports have revealed there is a darker side.

Surgeons have reported a sharp spike in what they’re calling “avocado hand,” a term for the knife injuries received while trying to slice through the fruit’s rubbery skin and remove its slippery pit.

It’s gotten so bad the British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons is calling for warning labels to be put on the fruit in a bid to reduce the number of people cutting the inside of their hands.

“Perhaps we could have a cartoon picture of an avocado with a knife, and a big red cross going through it?” British surgeon Simon Eccles, who treats four cases of “avocado hand” each week, told the Times of London. In Calgary, family physician Dr. Raj Bhardwaj told the CBC local surgeons see about one case a week.

Even celebrities are not immune, as Academy-Award-winning actress Meryl Streep was one of the first known avocado hand victims, suffering a nasty gash in 2012.

Sadly, avocados are not the only surprising threat hiding in your fruit salad, as we see from today’s vitamin-rich list of The Top Five Infamous Fresh Fruit Attacks:

5) The delicious evil-doer: The coconut

The devilish attack(s): Before we get going, allow us to point out that while the word “nut” is found in its name, the coconut is actually a fibrous one-seeded drupe, which is a category of fruit. It has been famously said that falling coconuts kill 150 people each year, 15 times the number of deaths attributable to shark attacks. In reality, according to a number of websites, that wildly overstated statistic is part of a growing urban legend about the lethal potential of coconuts. On the other hand, coconut-related deaths and injuries do happen. There have been a number of documented cases of death by coconut, including one described in a 2009 report by Britain’s The Telegraph newspaper. According to the news item, a monkey forced to climb palm trees by his “cruel” owner took revenge by killing him with a coconut, which the animal flung like a missile from the top of a tree after becoming frustrated with his tiring labour. It seems Leilit Janchoom, 48, from the province of Nakorn Sri Thammarat in Thailand, had employed the monkey to pick coconuts, which he could then sell. The story states the owner refused to let the animal, nicknamed Brother Kwan, rest and dished out beatings if he refused to climb trees. “It is believed that the monkey eventually snapped, and targeted his owner from a high branch with one of the hard-skinned fruits,” it says. “Mr. Janchoom… died on the spot after being struck by the coconut, according to reports in a local newspaper.” In 2002, coconut trees were uprooted from beaches in Northern Queensland, Australia, because local councils feared legal action from tourists injured by the falling fruit. “There have been reported injuries caused by coconuts, although I’m not aware of fatalities,” one tourism official told reporters at the time. Speaking of injuries, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards underwent cranial surgery after slipping off what was reported to be a coconut tree while on holiday in Fiji in 2006.

4) The delicious evil-doer: The pineapple

The devilish attack: When contemplating the threat posed by pineapples, it is hard not to think about the famed Monty Python sketch wherein a drill sergeant portrayed by comic actor John Cleese is supposedly teaching a class on self-defence, but will only teach his four students how to defend themselves against attackers armed with fresh fruit. At one point, an unhappy student suggests that if someone was attacked by a man with a banana they could scream for help. To which Cleese angrily replies: “Yeah, you try that with a pineapple down your windpipe!” In the real world, a former Scottish policewoman claimed 1.5 million pounds in damages after being beaned by a pineapple flung during a violent demonstration over the closing of a Glasgow swimming pool in 2001. According to news reports, Tracey Ormsby claimed her promising career with Strathclyde Police was shattered by the psychological effects of being walloped by the tropical fruit. She claimed she was forced to quit her job as a result of the minor injury and spent three years as a mentally scarred recluse. In 2008, however, an Edinburgh court heard from a former boyfriend that she had lied about her mental state, and shouted “Ker-ching!” after a doctor provided a diagnosis backing her claim of post-traumatic stress disorder. In slashing her claim from 1.5 million pounds to just 3,000 pounds, Judge Lord Malcolm said Ormsby had exaggerated her plight and misled doctors. The judge agreed to award only damages covering her physical injuries, which included bruising on her chest and minor whiplash after being pummelled by the pineapple. And if you’re ever attacked by someone wielding a pineapple, you might want to pick up a pointed stick, regardless of what John Cleese recommends.

3) The delicious evil-doer: The watermelon

The devilish attack: Considering its hefty size and thick rind, a watermelon is likely the last thing you’d want to have slammed into your own melon, by which we mean your unprotected head. But it is possible to survive being beaned with what is typically considered the favourite fruit of summer. And, yes, if you ask a botanist, they will tell you it’s a fruit because it develops from the plant’s ovary after flowering and holds the seeds. How does it feel to be smacked in the face by an errant watermelon? Just ask Home Shopping Network host Claire Champlin, who will forever be remembered as “Watermelon Girl.” In 2010, Champlin and fellow home-shopping host Brook Roberts were contestants on CBS’s wildly popular reality TV show The Amazing Race. What happened was, while in New England taking part in a random race challenge wherein they had to use a medieval catapult to slingshot watermelons at a suit of armour, a misfired melon boomeranged back and hit Champlin squarely in the face. “I can’t feel my face,” Champlin, her face dripping melon juice, chirped on the video of the show’s season premiere episode. “I have the worst headache ever.” As you can imagine, video of the painful incident quickly went viral. “My mom refers to me as Watermelon Girl,” Champlin told Entertainment Weekly after the infamous incident. “She posted it on her Facebook page… Honestly, I thought I was a lot more injured than I was, and then CBS gave me the go-ahead (to continue). If I was ever going to be hit by a watermelon, that was the place to be. The whole staff is top-of-the-line.” After being disoriented for about 15 minutes, she decided to continue with the competition. “I just think it was a freak accident,” she told EW.com. “I thought I was going to go down in history for so many other things. But if the watermelon is my claim to fame, I guess I’m just going to take it and run with it. A watermelon, it can’t hold me back.” No doubt it left her seeing red. And green.

2) The delicious evil-doer: The orange

The devilish attack: Oranges are a healthy snack, right? They’re packed with vitamin C, right? And a day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine, right? Well, all those things are true, but it doesn’t change the fact that every year in Italy a bunch of people sustain minor injuries after being smacked in the head with the world’s most popular citrus fruit. According to news reports, 70 people were injured last year in the Italian town of Ivrea after dressing up in medieval costumes and taking part in the annual Battle of the Oranges, wherein participants pelt each other with thousands of oranges shipped up from Sicily for the festivities. The battle is a three-day event that kicks off carnival season and is a re-enactment of a centuries-old legend about the locals fighting for freedom against an evil baron who oppressed the Alpine town in the 12th century. The baron was eventually beheaded and the citizens of Ivrea initially celebrated by throwing beans and confetti, but in the 19th century, the party evolved into a full-on orange-flinging war after young women reportedly began tossing the fruit at coaches from their balconies to attract the attention of the town’s eligible men. Last year, about 7,000 revellers bought tickets to take part in the battle — which features nine teams, most on foot, but some on horseback — flinging an estimated 270,000 kilograms of oranges. While 70 people sustained orange-related injuries, that number is less than half the 142 people reported injured by flying fruit in 2015. We assume they also make a lot of orange juice, because you have to concentrate to throw accurately.

1) The delicious evil-doer: The banana

The devilish attack(s): Bananas have always suffered from a bad rap. In fact, the image of an innocent passer-by slipping on a discarded banana peel has become something of a cliché in popular culture. Research suggests banana peels aren’t actually all that slippery, but the potassium-rich fruits, which are famously packed with health benefits, can pose serious hazards when in the wrong hands, so to speak. For instance, a July 2015 story in Britain’s Daily Mirror describes how a hapless man was rushed to hospital after a banana flung from the window of a passing vehicle hit him in a sensitive area, by which we mean Westfield, Mass. The story states the victim was spotted lying at the roadside, writhing in agony near a convenience store, after the banana slammed into his private parts. In his report, officer Richard Mazza said, and we will quote him directly: “(The) male party stated he was ‘struck in the banana by a banana.’ ” After being taken to hospital, the man was given a sick note excusing him from work the following day. Officer Mazza also revealed the search for the weapon proved “fruitless.” Bananas were also at the heart of a terrifying incident in 2016 in Thailand when a woman selling the yellow fruit was lifted up and thrown to the ground by a male elephant apparently angered that the bananas she insisted he eat were raw. According to the Bangkok Post, Wilaiwan Phankhian was rushed to hospital after the incident in the middle of Ayutthaya Historical Park. Despite warnings from the animal’s trainer, the woman tried to place bananas in its trunk, which caused it to grasp her with its trunk, hoist her in the air, and throw her to the ground, where she struck her head and lost consciousness. The trainer said his elephant, which was carrying two tourists at the time, did not like raw bananas, or being forced to take things.

For our part, we have always loved bananas. Despite the risk of being smacked in a sensitive area or seized by an irate elephant, we think they have appeal.

doug.speirs@freepress.mb.ca