No hair? don’t care

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/01/2019 (2622 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Let’s hope no one gave John Travolta a blow dryer for Christmas.

We say that because Travolta rang in the new year with a shocking new look — he shaved his head, ditching the luxurious locks he groomed so lovingly as Tony Manero in the 1977 blockbuster film Saturday Night Fever.

The 64-year-old actor — whose biopic Gotti has a co-leading six nominations for this year’s Razzie Awards celebrating the worst in film — debuted his new chrome dome earlier this month on Instagram, in a video post celebrating his reaching one million followers.

“Hey there, Ben Travolta, John Travolta here,” he chirped in the post, which shows him out for a dirt-bike ride with his little boy.

“We love you and we thank you and also, thanks for liking the new hairdo,” he said, tipping his baseball cap to reveal his new shiny pate.

Travolta’s bald head was unveiled in public later in Beverly Hills, at the 2019 Living Legends of Aviation Awards show.

While it’s unclear if Travolta is prepping for a role, his fans quickly took to social media to voice their approval of his new ‘do, with one social media user tweeting, “I gotta say #JohnTravolta looks great as a bald dude.”

It’s unlikely an actor of his legendary status needs anyone’s support when it comes to personal grooming, but even Travolta can take comfort from examining today’s follically challenged list of Five Famous Bald Heads:

The famously fabulous bald head: Persis Khambatta

The basic bare (head) facts: Any sci-fi geek worth his or her salt will be jumping up and down with excitement right now, because they will recall that Persis Khambatta was the Indian-born actress who portrayed the famously bald Deltan navigator Lt. Ilia in 1979’s Star Trek: The Motion Picture, the very first feature film in the legendary Star Trek franchise.

In 1979, Lt. Ilia’s alien chrome dome constituted a major pop-culture moment. Here’s what writer Jordan Hoffman had to say in a 2013 article on startrek.com: “At every Las Vegas Star Trek convention I’ve been to, there’s always one woman (the same woman?) who goes for broke, shaves her head and knocks ‘em all dead as Lt. Ilia… Persis Khambatta’s unique look was a ubiquitous part of Star Trek: The Motion Picture’s advertising campaign. 1979 was a long time ago, and a woman with no hair was still quite a shocker. (The kids today with their neo-post-punk rock wouldn’t understand!) Indeed, Khambatta’s real-life head-shave was enough of a news item that it was filmed for promotional purposes.”

Born in Bombay, Khambatta went on to become Miss India as well as, in 1980, the first Indian citizen to present an Academy Award. She had a brief film career, but will always be remembered for portraying Lt. Ilia on the Enterprise’s first movie mission, wherein she is killed on the bridge by an immensely powerful alien cloud known as V’Ger, which turns out to be Voyager 6, a onetime Earth space probe. V’Ger replaces Ilia with a robotic probe that resembles the famously bald Starfleet lieutenant exactly.

Khambatta accepted her signature role, even though she later wept openly when her head was shaved. But she smiled when the finishing powder was applied to her scalp and her striking facial features were sharply defined.

4) The famously fabulous bald head: Jeff Bezos

The basic bare (head) facts: We don’t want to oversimplify things, but there are two things you really need to know about Jeff Bezos, namely: 1) He is bald, and 2) He is not just the richest man in the world, but the richest man in history.

In a recent article, the Hollywood Reporter said going “full bald” is Hollywood’s latest power move. “Jeff Bezos, Dwayne Johnson, Michael Avenatti and other high-profile media players have committed to completely hairless pates,” it said. “It projects a certain confidence — the diametric opposite of a comb-over, which comes off as needy and pathetic.”

No one is going to call Bezos, the founder and CEO of Amazon, needy or pathetic. What began as an online bookstore is now the world’s largest online sales company, as well as the world’s largest provider of cloud infrastructure services. In 2017, he became the world’s wealthiest person when his estimated net worth rose to just over US$90 billion. The first centi-billionaire on the Forbes wealth index, he was named the “richest man in modern history” after his net worth increased to US$150 billion in July 2018.

Is he rich because he’s bald? Well, that might be pushing it, but in a recent article, the Independent newspaper in Britain cited research stating people are psychologically biased to see bald men as leaders. “Bald men are ageless,” comic Jeff Ross chirped recently. “You don’t know how old Bezos or Pitbull is. You’re not going grey in front of the public.”

GQ magazine, in 2013, rated him as No. 5 on its list of the 100 most powerful bald men on the planet. “As the founder of Amazon, has caused more one-click impulse buys than anyone in human history. But, free shipping!” the magazine quipped.

He was also No. 5 on hairlossdaily.com’s list of the 11 greatest bald men of all time. “Simply, Jeff Bezos is the most influential and successful bald businessman on the planet,” the site said. “There have been studies that show most men would prefer having more hair over more money. Jeff Bezos is an exception to the rule, and a good example for all of us. Money is more important than hair, gentlemen!”

3) The famously fabulous bald head: The Dalai Lama

The basic bare (head) facts: Before we get to the bald stuff, we need to acknowledge that most of you only know of the world’s most famous Buddhist because, in the classic 1980 comedy Caddyshack, Bill Murray in the role of unhinged greenskeeper Carl Spackler babbles: “So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas… A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one — big hitter, the Lama — long, into a ten-thousand-foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga.”

But there’s more to the Dalai Lama and his bald head than that. When he accepted the 1989 Nobel Peace Prize for his work on global human rights, especially his efforts to free his country from Chinese rule, he referred to himself as “a simple monk from Tibet.” But he’s also the spiritual and political leader of about six million Tibetans, who see him as the 14th earthly incarnation of the heavenly deity of compassion and mercy.

In March 1959, as Chinese troops crushed an attempted uprising in Tibet, the 14th Dalai Lama, who was born Tenzin Gyatso, fled into India. He was then a young man in his mid-20s. He was followed into exile by about 80,000 Tibetans, most of whom settled in the same area.

He has since travelled the world to speak about the welfare of Tibetans, Buddhism and a multitude of other topics. For monks, shaving their heads shows a commitment to the holy life. GQ magazine pegged the Lama as No. 2 on its list of the 100 most powerful bald men.

In 2017, the mischievous monk made headlines when he playfully touched the bald spot of San Diego Times reporter Ken Stone. “We’re twins,” Stone told the Lama. Laughingly replied His Holiness: “Yes, yes!”

2) The famously fabulous bald head: Walter White (as portrayed by Bryan Cranston)

The basic bare (head) facts: Actor Bryan Cranston has a lovely head of hair, but his famous fictional alter ego, Walter White, does not.

As anyone who owns a TV already knows, White was the lead character in the immensely popular cable TV series Breaking Bad, considered one of the most important programs of the past decade. The series told the story of White, a struggling and depressed high school chemistry teacher who is diagnosed with lung cancer. Along with former student Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul), White turns to a life of crime, producing and selling crystal meth to secure his family’s financial future before he dies.

Over its five seasons, it bagged a ton of awards, including 16 Primetime Emmys. As the series progressed, White, who became known by his alias “Heisenberg” when he became a drug kingpin, becomes darker and takes on a far more villainous role.

GQ magazine rated Cranston’s award-winning character as the fourth most powerful bald man on the planet, noting: “Funny how a quick shave turns a man from Malcolm (in the Middle’s) dad into Heisenberg. The baldness used to be because of chemo; now, it’s just from being so incredibly evil.”

Adds hair loss centre belgraviacentre.com: “As the side-effects of his chemotherapy kick in, Walter shaves the rest of his hair off. However, after being told his cancer is in remission, Walter chooses to maintain his bald style… Aside from the gripping storyline about a teacher-turned-drug manufacturer, Breaking Bad also stars a surprisingly hairless cast, which even sparked a popular internet meme claiming that the on-set hairstylist had the production’s easiest job.”

In truth, when Cranston had to shave his head in Season 1, several members of the crew decided to shave their heads in solidarity. On being bald, the actor has said: “What’s interesting is a man with no facial hair is less intimidating than a man with facial hair, and a man who is bald is more intimidating than a man with hair… There’s not enough baldness on television, so we’re trying to do our fair share. It’s a minority group, but we’re trying.”

1) The famously fabulous bald head: Michael Jordan

The basic bare (head) facts: We don’t have room in this entire newspaper to list all of Michael Jordan’s accomplishments on a basketball court, most of them with the Chicago Bulls. Consider the fact his biography on the official NBA website states: “By acclamation, Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time.”

For the record, his accomplishments include six NBA Finals MVP awards, 10 scoring titles, five MVP awards, 14 NBA All-Star Game selections, and he holds NBA records for highest career regular-season scoring average (30.12 points per game) and highest career playoff scoring average (33.45 points per game). In 1999, His Airness was named the greatest North American athlete of the 20th century by ESPN.

His amazing ability to fly through the air and slam the ball into the basket fuelled the runaway success of Nike’s Air Jordan sneakers, which were introduced in 1984 and remain popular today.

It is almost impossible to think of Jordan without seeing that iconic image of him soaring through the air, light bouncing off his spectacular bald head, tongue dangling from his mouth. Not surprisingly, GQ magazine rated him as No. 1 on its list of the 100 most powerful bald men on the planet. “His Airness made bald cool, simple as that. It’s hard to equate hair with virility, when you’re watching a bald man jam on Patrick Ewing like he’s a stepladder. Say what you will about his current esthetic leanings, but Jordan is undoubtedly one of the greatest and coolest athletes of all time — and dudes around the world have been shaving their heads ever since,” the magazine gushed.

Added hairlossdaily.com: “He’s perhaps the greatest athlete ever, who single highhandedly inspired a generation of balding men to embrace their genetics and shave it off like a man… Hair just gets in the way when you’re looking to dunk a basketball from the free throw line.”

In 2017, LeBron James, the game’s current best player, joked: “I did pretty much everything that MJ did when I was a kid. I shot fadeaways before I should have… I didn’t go bald, like Mike, but I’m getting there.” There’s still time, LeBron, still time.

doug.speirs@freepress.mb.ca