When the moon hits your eye…

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/05/2020 (2135 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

The good news is it definitely qualified as a hole in one.

The bad news is the hole was in the seat of superstar quarterback Tom Brady’s golf pants.

The six-time Super Bowl winning QB experienced a major wardrobe malfunction last Sunday when he paired with Phil Mickelson to take on Tiger Woods and retired NFL legend Peyton Manning in a made-for-TV golf match designed to raise funds for COVID-19 relief.

Throughout The Match: Champions for Charity golf tournament at the Medalist Golf Club in Home Sound, Fla. — which raised over $20 million to fight the pandemic — Brady was the butt of a steady stream of jokes for his poor play.

But the future Hall of Fame briefly silenced his critics with a single stunning shot on the par 5 seventh hole — holing out for an eagle from 110 yards away after exchanging some light-hearted barbs with the cheeky commentator, NBA legend Charles Barkley.

It was the highlight of the day, but things took an awkward turn when Brady went to retrieve his ball on the seventh hole — as he bent down to pick up the ball, the rear of his pants split from stem to stern in front of live TV cameras.

He scrambled to cover up, donned a pair of rain pants, and, despite losing the match, later flashed a sense of humour when he tweeted: “Pants wanted in on social distancing I guess…”

Fortunately, when pants split, we will cover it, as you can see from today’s revealing list of Five People Who Famously Ripped Their Pants in Public:

5) The pants person: Champion bobsledder Gillian Cooke

Let ‘er rip: Today, British bobsledder Gillian Cooke can laugh at all the cracks — pun intended — about what became an infamously racy YouTube clip. At the time, however, it wasn’t exactly a laughing matter for the Edinburgh-born athlete, who teamed with driver Nicola Minichiello to win the gold medal for the U.K. in the two-woman bobsleigh event at the 2009 World Championships in Lake Placid, N.Y.

Cooke is arguably best known today for a major wardrobe malfunction that occurred at the 2010 World Championships held in St. Moritz, Switzerland. She became the subject of some bad jokes — and an internet sensation — when her skintight lycra racing suit split in the rear as she bent over just seconds before jumping into the bobsleigh with her teammate, Minichiello.

“Despite being so suddenly exposed to the chilly air, she appeared to be unaware of what had happened,” Britain’s Daily Mail newspaper reported at the time. “The official behind her, however, was very aware. Later footage shows him trying to stifle his giggles as her black G-string is displayed.”

The TV commentator, stifling his laughter, offered this observation on the mishap: “Gill Cooke is going to need a new race suit after the weekend I think, it’s going to get a little chilly there.”

The accidental exposure — in Britain they called it a “ripping yarn” — landed Cooke on the pages of newspapers around the world, and video quickly went viral. “It’s a good way to break the ice, especially with new teammates — it always gets a laugh,” the athlete later quipped of the incident. “I’m just so grateful I was wearing underwear that day.”

Her team finished seventh that day, and she talked about it shortly before the Vancouver Olympics: “It has certainly raised the profile of our sport. I knew straight away it had split but I had to carry on otherwise we would have forfeited the race and I wasn’t prepared to do that. My bum was freezing by the time we got to the end of the run, though!”

4) The pants people: Elite swimmers Ricky Berens and Flavia Zoccari

Let ‘er rip: How tight were those controversial full-body swimsuits that elite swimmers used to wear back in the day? Well, a couple of Olympic swimmers found out the hard way when they experienced wardrobe meltdowns just prior to big races.

Consider the plight of American swimmer Richard “Ricky” Berens, a two-time Olympic gold medalist and world record-holder in the 4 x 200-metre freestyle relay. In 2009, Berens famously tore the back of his skintight suit down to the butt during the World Swimming Championships in Rome. Shortly before stepping up to the starting block for a qualifying heat of the 4 x 100-metre relay, the swimmer leaned down to stretch and his suit couldn’t take the pressure.

“I kind of freaked out for just a second,” Berens said. “I felt like (the hole) was almost down to my knees. I felt like I was putting on a pretty good show,” Berens remarked after the incident. When his suit split, a fast-acting photographer caught him (cough) in full moon.

“I’m still not known as the Olympic gold medallist Ricky Berens,” he later told the New York Times. “I’m known as the guy who busted his suit.” Fortunately, Berens was allowed to race, and helped lead the U.S. to a gold medal.

Things didn’t go as smoothly that year for Italian Olympic swimmer Flavia Zoccari, who was forced to sit out a championship race at the Mediterranean Games in Pescara, Italy, after her top-of-the-line Jaked J01 swimsuit burst open in the rear. Zoccari famously burst into tears when she was disqualified from the 200-metre race because her aerodynamic suit split and there wasn’t time for her to change.

“The tearful swimmer was left trying, and failing, to cover her modesty with her hand as she withdrew from the side of the swimming pool,” Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper reported at the time. Quipped The Independent: “Jaked boasts that the full-body swimsuit — complete with back hinge — is ‘more than skin’. Unfortunately for Flavia, it revealed just that.”

3) The pants person: Rocker Lenny Kravitz

Let ‘er rip: If you are the sort of person who keeps up with popular culture, you’ll be aware that many celebrities have experienced high-profile wardrobe malfunctions over the years. But few of those incidents involve the same level of exposure as what happened to Grammy Award-winning rock star Lenny Kravitz during a 2105 concert in Sweden. It was especially surprising considering Kravitz was wearing leather trousers at the time, and those things are not supposed to rip in such a catastrophic fashion.

“Good leather trousers should give,” Peter Goodall, owner of the General Leather Company in London, told The Guardian newspaper at the time. “A good pair can last for ever… They don’t break easily.”

But Kravitz can certainly tell a different story.

During his Strut Tour in August 2015, the singer-songwriter was performing the song Fly Away when he squatted down, causing his leather pants to rip in the worst way possible, briefly exposing a piercing on his private parts to thousands of concert-goers at Stockholm’s Grona Lund amusement park. After accidentally flashing his manhood, Kravitz exited the stage, and according to a concert-goer, a producer explained they had “problems onstage” before Kravitz — clad in different pants — returned to tell the crowd: “Sorry, I ripped my trousers.”

The singer, a fashion icon thanks to his eccentric style on and off stage, did not face any legal repercussions from the incident. “It was insane,” one fan said at the time. “I killed myself laughing. And then I called my mum who was there at the show as well. Her reaction was the same and she almost killed herself laughing, too.”

It quickly became a hot topic on Twitter, where the singer dubbed the incident #penisgate. In 2017, he discussed his underwear preference with fashion publication Mr Porter. “Do I have any underwear on now? No. Thus the problems that I incur,” he said. “I didn’t rip them. They became ripped. It was fine. But it was a little cold in Sweden. I would’ve warmed it up a little, had I known.”

2) The pants person: Actor-singer Neil Patrick Harris

Let ‘er rip: When it comes to belting out a Broadway show tune, famed actor/singer Neil Patrick Harris can really let it rip. Unfortunately, his pants possess the same ability. That became clear in January 2017 when Harris strutted onstage during an episode of The Late Late Show With James Corden.

“We have a score to settle, and it’s about Broadway,” Harris — who, like Corden, has hosted the Tony Awards for excellence in Broadway theatre — told the British-born talk show host. “I see you going around, hosting the Tonys, acting like you’re the only TV star who can sing show tunes.” To loud applause, he noted: “Some of us, dude, have actually won a Tony.” Harris won Best Leading Actor In A Musical for Hedwig And The Angry Inch in 2014.

Corden replied: “I’ve also won a Tony Award myself.” He won Best Actor in a Play in 2012 for his performance in One Man, Two Guvnors. “Yeah,” Harris snorted in reply, “for a non-singing role. BURN!” Which left the pair no option but to settle the score by staging what Corden called “a Broadway musical riff-off.”

Determined to defend his talent, Corden launched into Sit Down, You’re Rockin’ the Boat from Guys and Dolls. Harris fired back with a powerhouse rendition of Gypsy’s Everything’s Coming Up Roses. It went back and forth like that for some time. Eventually, Harris stepped up his game with his rendition of Sugar Daddy from Hedwig. So Harris gave it his all, unbuttoning his suit jacket, sinking to his knees, and triggering a serious pants-related crisis. After a commercial break, Harris had a confession for Corden and the TV audience. “When I went down on my knees there, I had a nice wardrobe malfunction and split my pants from my ass to my knee,” Harris admitted to laughter when they returned from the break. “I left it all on the stage for you.”

1) The pants person: Pop superstar Katy Perry

Let ‘er rip: Singer Katy Perry is famous for being a pop superstar, an American Idol judge, and a wild dresser. During the recently concluded season of Idol — filmed remotely because of the global pandemic — Perry appeared on the show in a series of off-the-wall coronavirus-themed costumes, including judging the show while dressed as a giant roll of Idol-brand toilet paper and a giant bottle of hand sanitizer.

But one of her most infamous outfits was a sparkly silver jumpsuit that she wore on the show in 2018 that became the focus of a well-publicized pants-splitting event. Moments after contestant Maddie Poppe finished a collaborative performance of Bubbly with singer-songwriter Colbie Caillat, the famously goofy Perry let out a huge roar of laughter that her silver jumpsuit couldn’t handle. Her face dropped as she informed the audience and her fellow judges: “Oops! I just split my pants!”

Never one to conceal the truth, she then jumped up to reveal her split seam to her fellow judges Lionel Richie and Luke Bryan, host Ryan Seacrest, and the entire studio audience. Richie bravely jumped up to cover her backside, but he was too slow, forcing the show to use a strategically placed American Idol logo to hide the gaping rip from viewers.

Perry then paced the stage, laughing in disbelief, as Richie jokingly shouted: “Save the children!” For his part, Bryan just laughed himself silly. Noted People magazine: “Luckily, there’s nothing that a little tape can’t patch up. A crew member came to Perry’s aid as she leaned over and said, ‘Tape my butt.’ The judge then apologized while very gently sitting back down in her chair to prevent another mishap.”

The pop star wasn’t shy about sharing the incident with her Twitter followers, writing: “I have good news and bad news today. I won’t be able to live stream #AmericanIdol today but: I CAN promise you some pants-splitting fun.” No butts about it.

doug.speirs@freepress.mb.ca