I’m happy to share joy through my writing

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 11/01/2021 (1729 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Last week, I wrote about getting a SK8 Skates hoodie. My column was a little story, about how I’d wanted this hoodie ever since I was a 15-year-old kid because it’s cool and because it brought back warm feelings from that part of my life. It reminded of a silly situation that my friend Becky and I got ourselves into and the remarkable people who were so kind to us back then, namely Jai Pereira, who was one of the owners of SK8, and his partner, Alana Lowry.

The story, an ancient one that I’ve recounted more times than I can remember, was a silly little tale that I wasn’t sure would be worth writing about because of how simple it was. Would it resonate with people? Is it something that people will care about? It’s an interesting process, sharing pieces of your life in the hope someone will read it and get something from it, whether it’s just a little bit of enjoyment or something more profound.

This one was different, though.

The night before my column came out, I was anxious about it. To be fair, I usually get anxious before my columns are published, but this time my anxiety was a little bit greater. Although the story touched on the impact that Jai and Alana had on me, I debated whether or not I should have written about them. Since this would be running in the newspaper, and Winnipeg is small, there was a good chance their families would read my story.

You never quite know how other people feel or will react when you are writing about the people they love who have died. You don’t know if your words, even well-intended, will take them to a sad place or will show them how far a legacy has reached. Sometimes the old ghosts can be too much, while other times they are welcome and appreciated. Above all else, life and my own experiences have shown me there is no time limit on grief. I didn’t want to open up old wounds, I just wanted to tell my story and to be respectful, and maybe let the people who loved them know they meant something to me.

I hoped I had succeeded in that.

On Monday morning, as I always do, I re-read my column. Then I shared it to all my social media feeds, along with a selfie of me wearing the SK8 hoodie.

Later that morning I was tagged in a tweet from Asha Pereira, Jai’s sister.

“A beautiful (story) of the impact one can have on another person. Thank you

@ShelleyACook for this lovely remembrance of my brother & my friend. June 2021, makes 20 years since they left us physically. Hoodie buy takes me back to my skater youth with a link to the story.

I responded by telling her that her brother and Alana had been so kind to me in various stages of my life, and how the impact they left on me was great. I thanked her for reading and for sharing my story, and then I followed her on Twitter. She followed me back.

Since then we have chatted back and forth online, connecting over the silly little story that I initially told and sharing other stories from back then. We’ve talked about ourselves and our families, and we’ve carried on a general conversation that seems to flow effortlessly. I only have a handful of memories about Jai and Alana, because they weren’t my friends so much as they were just two really kind and influential people in my young life.

But, the one thing I’ve realized is that my memories not only mean something to me, they mean something to Asha and her family, too. My memories and stories are just a fragment of the legacy these two created, that until last week Asha and her family didn’t know these tiny fragments of that legacy even existed.

I spoke to Jai and Asha’s father, Cecil Pereira, on the phone. Our interaction was brief but touching. I was grateful to be able to tell him that his son was important to me.

It’s lovely that even after all these years, someone’s actions can be felt. That we live on in shared stories and memories, and that our kindness can outlive us and continue to grow and be felt even after we die.

I’m glad I wrote the column. I’m glad my story brought joy to someone and I am grateful for those unexpected connections that sharing stories can give us.

shelka79@hotmail.com

@ShelleyACook