A ‘hole’ lot of drama that doesn’t really matter

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/08/2020 (2029 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

A little while ago I got my nose pierced.

I’ve wanted this piercing since I accidentally pulled out my first nose piercing about a decade ago and couldn’t get it back in, but I kept talking myself out of it. I always had a reason for why I shouldn’t do it.

I am too old. There was other stuff I could spend that money on, because there is always other stuff I can spend my money on, and I didn’t want people to see this as a symbol of me having a mid-life crisis.

I mean, they probably wouldn’t be wrong.

I’m at the cusp of middle age in the midst of a pandemic. It’s a strange point in life. I love the life experience and wisdom that time has given me, yet I wish that it would slow down a little bit. I’m not ready to be old.

There were a million reasons bouncing around inside my head as to why I shouldn’t do this. It’s always easier to find reasons not to do something, than to just do what you want.

“I want to pierce my nose,” I said to my partner. “But I think it will look stupid. Do you think it’ll look stupid? I’m too old for it. Right? Right?”

I’m not sure exactly what reaction I was looking for, but he ended up giving me the perfect response.

“Who cares?” he said. “Do what you want.”

It sounds silly and almost too simple, but those two little words were different when they came out of his mouth. He was so nonchalant about it, the way he is when I start to spiral about something superficial. Like when I frantically clean our house behind guests while profusely apologizing for the mess.

Or when I pardon my kids for being kids in situations where childhood disrupts, like office buildings, or quiet public spaces. Or when some random, usually anonymous, person tweets something awful to me or about me, and I take it to heart.

I worry about seriously frivolous stuff sometimes. He reminds me it doesn’t matter.

Why do I think anyone will care? I need to stop thinking the world revolves around me. It doesn’t. I’m just a speck on the planet, a speck who wants a pierced nose.

Empowered by the “Who cares?” mantra, I called to make my appointment at Metamorphosis Tattoo & Piercing Shop the next afternoon. I called from the splash pad while my kid was running through arches of water.

“Are you over 18?” the woman on the other end asked.

I laughed and told her that I was.

A week later, performing the Hamilton musical from the driver’s seat of my minivan, I was on my way to the shop. I felt giddy and couldn’t stop chuckling to myself. This is it, I’m going to pierce my nose!

Like everything in this COVID-19 world, there’s a new process for doing stuff. I had to call the shop when I got there. The door was locked, but the number and instructions were scrawled on a sign taped to it.

The new pandemic normal.

Inside, the process of getting my nose pierced only took a few minutes. Deciding on a piece of jewelry was the most time-consuming part.

It hurt, but just barely. More than anything, it was neat and gross to see the long needle poking through my right nostril. I took a deep breath and a watery-eyed selfie to later show my kids how bad-ass their mom is.

I envisioned how impressed they would be and I patted myself on the back. You’re not a regular mom, you’re a cool mom, Shelley Cook!

On the way home I felt like a rock star, and I felt really good about going through with doing something that I wanted to do.

When I got home my kids were uninterested in my new piercing, even when I showed them the picture of the long needle poking through my nostril. It wasn’t a big deal. None of it. They, like everyone else, have far more important things in their life that they care about.

It’s kinda funny how worked up I got about this in my head.

Who cares? Turns out it was nobody but me.

Shelka79@hotmail.com

@ShelleyACook