Taking comfort in the kind, wise words of Mr. Rogers

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This article was published 29/05/2020 (2122 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

You know who the world needs right now as it copes with a terrifying health crisis?

Mister Rogers.

More than ever, we need his gentle wisdom. We need him to tell us, in his calm and reassuring voice, we are all going to get through this together. We need him to tell us things will get back to “normal.” Or the “new normal” will be even better than our “old normal.”

Like one of his signature zippered cardigans, Fred Rogers symbolized warmth, comfort and reassurance. The North American children’s TV icon never talked down to kids; he helped them cope with the hard stuff life dishes out, everything from bullying and sibling rivalry to divorce and death.

For the 33 years he spent writing and starring in PBS’s Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, this soft-spoken, humble pop-culture icon made the world seem like a safer place. When he lost his battle with stomach cancer in 2003, our lives suddenly felt a little colder, and a lot less gentle.

His messages of kindness and hope are even more relevant today. Fortunately, we can still find comfort in those words — or at least I can, because sitting on my desk, parked beside my computer, is a tiny plastic Mister Rogers talking figurine that, at the touch of a button, dispenses famous nuggets of gentle wisdom.

Which is why today, to help reassure everyone trying to muddle their way through the darkness, I decided to get my cherished figurine to answer a few of the tough questions we’d ask Mister Rogers if he were here today. (And, yes, I also stole a few of his most oft-cited quotes from the countless lists you can find online.)

Free Press: Hi, would it be all right if we talked about how scary this pandemic is?

Mister Rogers: “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”

Free Press: That makes a lot of sense. What should we be doing to cope with the uncertainty and stress?

Mister Rogers: “In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.”

Free Press: Who should we turn to for help as we try to navigate our way through this deadly pandemic?

Mister Rogers: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers — so many caring people in this world.”

Free Press: Indeed, there are so many helpers out there, from front-line health-care workers to the clerks in our grocery stores. What should we say to let them know how grateful we are?

Mister Rogers: “Thank you: two of the best words we can ever learn.”

Free Press: We’ve all been spending a great deal of time isolating at home. What are your thoughts on that?

Mister Rogers: “Solitude is different from loneliness, and it doesn’t have to be a lonely kind of thing.”

Free Press: Is it OK for us to seek help from others if we can’t handle things on our own?

Mister Rogers: “Taking care is one way to show your love. Another way is letting people take good care of you when you need it.”

Free Press: So it’s all right to show our emotions when the bad news seems overwhelming?

Mister Rogers: “People have said, ‘Don’t cry’ to other people for years and years, and all it has ever meant is, ‘I’m too uncomfortable when you show your feelings. Don’t cry.’ I’d rather have them say, ‘Go ahead and cry. I’m here to be with you.’”

Free Press: But is asking for help a sign of weakness?

Mister Rogers: “All of us, at some time or other, need help. Whether we’re giving or receiving help, each one of us has something valuable to bring to this world. That’s one of the things that connects us as neighbours — in our own way, each one of us is a giver and a receiver.”

Free Press: Who do you think are the real heroes today?

Mister Rogers: “We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to say, ‘It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’ Then, there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.”

Free Press: We never got the chance to meet in real life, but we’d like to say thanks for everything you did for children around the world. Any final thoughts?

Mister Rogers: “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you; and I like you just the way you are.”

We all need a neighbour like you, Mister Rogers.

doug.speirs@freepress.mb.ca