Getting back into the routine

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 07/01/2009 (6299 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Well, Oprah isn’t the only one who can’t fit into her favourite pair of jeans these days. If the superstar can admit in front of millions that she has fallen off the waggon, then so can I.

But unlike Oprah, who believes that weight gain is always about something other than the food, I blame the food. More specifically these days, I blame the holiday food. I blame those tasty, tasty individually wrapped chocolates, other people’s homemade baking and let’s not forget that twice-annual dousing of yummy, yummy gravy.

I ate it all and then some, and today I wear my fat pants. You know the pair we all have at the back of our closet that we don’t give away to charity “just in case?”

And now that my kids are both on their sugar low, the lack of someone little to chase is also contributing to my setback. Going to the gym is not an option these days either, because what are the chances there will be a spare treadmill in the days following New Year’s resolutions anyway? Besides, it’s been so long, I’m not in the mood for the half-ironic “well, hello there!” that will greet me at the front door.

So instead I’m relegated to my fat pants until we’re free and clear of all the forbidden foods we never bring into this house in the first place because of the sheer inevitability that I will eat each and every last morsel of it.
   
The good news is, our cupboards are starting to look back to normal again and one quick trip to the grocery store this afternoon will stock my shelves with all my favourite diet foods that I will begrudgingly eat until I manage to shed those last pounds of turtle chocolates.
   
I won’t promise to use our treadmill in the basement or use portion control (of which there is no direct translation in Greek). Instead I will pray my kids give me something to run about, the dog will snatch that extra piece of toast off my plate and I will drop from exhaustion at 8 p.m. every night to avoid night eating.
   
Happy getting back into the routine everyone!
 
Demetra’s Parents and the City column appears every Saturday in the Winnipeg Free Press Entertainment section.