A modest proposal, 2024

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/01/2024 (594 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

This past weekend, the federal Conservatives met in Ottawa to get ready for the coming session in Parliament.

Speaking after the Tory meeting, Opposition Leader Pierre Poilievre managed to pack a whole bunch of commitment into just 12 words. “Conservatives will fight throughout this session to axe the tax, build the homes, fix the budget and stop the crime.”

Axe the tax, build the homes, fix the budget and stop the crime.

Two problems stick out right away: the first is that opposition parties don’t set policy or write the budget, so that, even though the Conservatives have a healthy lead in the polls, they can’t really effect any of the changes that they plan to “fight throughout this session” for.

The other is that, while what they plan to do is clear, they’re somewhat short on how they plan to do it.

Before we give them the keys to the kingdom, perhaps we should have a better idea just what it is they are talking about, and what we’re signing up for.

The three-word slogan, bereft of details, is not without its simple charms. “Build the wall,” “Lock her up” and “Drain the swamp” all had their successful moments in the sun, even though their methodology wasn’t always clear — lock Hillary Clinton up for what, exactly, especially in a country that supports due legal process? How was the swamp draining supposed to move forward? Trenching, or French drains? Isn’t the swamp just as swampy as it’s always been, maybe more so? And were any of those slogans actually successfully implemented?

Three-word propaganda slogans even sound fine if they are completely nonsensical — or internally contradictory. The famous three from George Orwell’s 1984 were “War is peace”, “Freedom is slavery” and “Ignorance is strength,” for example. In case you’re wondering about the justification behind that trio, the government in 1984 argued that a constant state of war kept the country in a constant state of readiness, and both freedom and knowledge led to a failure of national unity. But we digress.

The simple fact is that, bereft of the methods that will be used to reach a party’s ends, the three-word slogan is virtually powerless. (By example, we give you “Go, Leafs, go!”, which has been singularly unsuccessful in helping the Toronto Maple Leafs to, well, anything for decades now.)

A three-word slogan is great for being memorable, and it makes a great closing line for a speech or a rally.

But we deserve a little better, at least in exchange for our votes.

“Axe the tax” is clear enough — get rid of the carbon tax — although the Conservative alternative plan for addressing climate change is currently absent.

“Build the homes” — well, who will build them and how, what will the homes be, and what would a Conservative government and the taxpayers’ involvement in the construction be?

“Fix the budget”? In what way? If it’s spending less on services, please do tell Canadians which services are going to be cut, and who will benefit the most from those reductions.

“Stop the crime”? Does that involve more police and longer jail sentences — it seems to right now — and who will pay for that, within the new “fixed” budget structure? Surely we’re not talking about more spending. Or are we?

Put some meat on those slogan bones. Perhaps all will be revealed in due time, and perhaps, by that time, it won’t matter anyway.

By the time an election campaign arrives and the Conservative policy details arrive with it, the slogans will be ingrained — the Tories are going to do this and this and this.

But how?

Please don’t ask voters to pick a party policy designed to fit on the front of a hat.