Apology must be accompanied by action

Opinion

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This article was published 30/11/2020 (1757 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

There is an apocryphal story about a behavioural psychologist who engaged in a bitter argument with his wife. When his spouse sought to make amends, the psychologist coldly replied: “Don’t apologize! Change your behaviour!”

The commander of the Canadian Armed Forces might want to keep that story in mind as he prepares to formally apologize to victims of sexual misconduct, including current and former members of the military, as well as civilian Defence Department employees. In the case of the Forces, it would be wise to amend the psychologist’s advice as follows: “Apologize AND change your behaviour!”

It’s not that an apology doesn’t have value in and of itself. A sincere apology can be a powerful emotional gesture, helping to repair relationships and allowing a victim to begin healing by acknowledging the harm done by the perpetrator’s actions. But an apology becomes far more meaningful — and helpful — when it is accompanied by a promise from those responsible for causing harm that their behaviour will change in the future.

Harvard University states on its website that, along with a recognition of wrongdoing and a statement of regret, an effective apology must include a promise not to repeat the offence. “The offender needs to offer a clear plan for self-restraint, improved behaviour, and how to work with the offended person to address possible future misunderstandings,” Harvard states in an article entitled “The Power of Apologies.”

The Forces’ planned apology was not required as part of the $900-million agreement the federal government reached last year to settle multiple class-action lawsuits by survivors of sexual harassment and assault in the military. But plaintiffs in the lawsuits clearly wanted Canada’s military to acknowledge and validate the anguish they endured.

“I just want something genuine and that’s taken seriously,” Marie-Claude Gagnon, a former naval reservist who founded a group for survivors of military sexual trauma, said last week.

The apology is to be delivered by both the chief of the defence staff and the deputy minister of the Department of National Defence, though the surging COVID-19 pandemic has made the timing uncertain.

In announcing its plans to apologize, it is unfortunate the military did not also include a clear blueprint for ensuring that sexual abuse in the ranks will not continue in the future.

In previous years, the military’s battle against sexual misconduct has focused largely on the laudable goals of supporting victims and punishing offenders. Last year, the Forces launched a new battle plan that also emphasizes addressing those aspects of the military’s culture — some of which are long-standing — that might be contributing to sexual misconduct.

That plan, entitled “The Path to Dignity and Respect,” notes a “disconnection” between the military’s stated culture and the harsh reality on the ground. Despite senior leaders vowing a zero-tolerance approach, Statistics Canada found in 2019 that little progress was being made in eradicating sexual misconduct.

The new phase has been criticized for not focusing on efforts to help victims reintegrate into the Armed Forces or civilian life after coming forward with complaints. Gen. Jonathan Vance, who championed the fight against sexual misconduct, has announced his intention to retire once his successor is named, making it unclear who will be defence chief when the apology is finally delivered.

Whoever delivers the military’s expression of regret had best be prepared to back up those words with effective changes. Otherwise, saying sorry for the cruelty and stupidity of the past will be little more than wasted breath.