A family’s struggle: finding suitable daycare for child with disabilities

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This article was published 24/01/2015 (3959 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

It’s been a year of tough lessons for the Anaka family, including a big one: “We didn’t know a child could get kicked out of daycare,” Kristi Anaka says with a rueful laugh.

The Anakas’ moppy-haired four-year-old, Cian, tried three daycares in a year as Kristi attempted to go back to work at the Victoria Hospital. But, as Cian’s disabilities — his developmental delays, his chronic asthma, his impulsiveness — became clearer, daycare became impossible.

“This has definitely been the most stressful year of our lives,” said Kristi as Cian runs up in a firefighter outfit, alerting his mom to an imaginary blaze in the backyard. “If I had know all of this, I don’t think I would have tried to go back to work.”

It started in the summer of 2013, when the Anakas got a spot at a new, for-profit Montessori not far from their Waverley West home.

After a month and a couple of incident reports, they had a gut feeling things weren’t going well. So they asked for a meeting, hoping to work out some strategies and pre-empt any more trouble.

“We walked in to that meeting thinking we would work with the staff on the situation,” said dad Kurt. “We left that meeting an hour later thinking, wow, we’re pretty much kicked out.”

Staff said they couldn’t care for Cian, that he needed one-on-one assistance. And, it was clear to the Anakas staff were frustrated with Cian, that he wasn’t wanted there. Though the couple knew their son was rambunctious, they didn’t realize the extent of his developmental delays.

The family was more shocked than angry, and Cian wondered why he couldn’t go back.

“Cian handled it pretty well, probably better than we did,” said Kristi.

After a few tears, the couple immediately booked Cian for a battery of tests with pediatricians, child psychologists and occupational therapists. And, still trying to keep her job, Kristi scrambled to find another daycare. With no non-profit options available, the family tried Advantage Child Care Academy, another new for-profit daycare.

“They told us from the get-go they didn’t think they could handle him, but that they would try,” said Kristi.

The arrangement lasted a month. The Anakas didn’t get their $500 deposit back.

It’s tough enough finding a daycare space for a run-of-the-mill kid. For children with disabilities, even manageable ones like Cian’s, it’s even harder. The for-profit option, including most Montessoris, is largely off the table because staff don’t have the training or the time to supervise special needs kids, and the province won’t fund a support worker at a for-profit daycare.

If a family can snag a spot at a non-profit centre, the fight for a provincially-funded support worker able to offer one-on-one aid begins.

And, says Kurt, it’s a fractured system, forcing parents to stumble their way through doctors offices, child assessment appointments, provincial disability resources, child care options, even the helpful tax credits available to parents.

“It’s taken us a year and a half of putting this all together in our head,” said Kurt as Cian drags his dad over to the window to draw an “X marks the spot” on the window with washable markers.

Cian, with his hipster glasses and high energy, is crazy for pirates and sharks. Kristi said she always wanted to stay home with him, though financially they knew it would be tough.

After Advantage, things looked up on the daycare front. The family finally got a spot at a non-profit with a support worker, which made a huge difference. Things went great for six months. But, like every daycare kid, Cian had a new cold every week. He developed asthma, and an attack last fall put him in the hospital.

With his health always in doubt and his mom “a little bit miserable” being away from him all day, the couple decided in October that Kristi would just stay home. They’ve started a home-based business to supplement their income and are hoping to become foster parents.

They say they’ve been lucky to have good insurance from Kurt’s job with an agricultural firm, and the financial flexibility to allow Kristi to stay home. But they wonder how other families, especially single moms with disabled children, manage.