Vikes, ‘Skins fury reads like WWE script

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This article was published 04/11/2010 (5767 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Wazoo here.

In honour of Donovan McNabb, I’m going to test my cardiovascular capabilities and write this in two minutes or less. With no timeouts.

Is it just me or is the 2010 season turning into the WWE, where cartoon subjects come together to entertain the masses through improbable scripted, physical dramas? With the NFL, though, it all takes place before the Sunday Smackdown.

Amazingly, the fallout from the McNabb benching (and the subsequent workout given to all-time disaster JaMarcus Russell by Redskins coach Mike Shanahan) wasn’t even the best storyline this week. The Randy Moss mess is so bizarre that even yours truly — a staunch hater of all things purple — is starting to feel sorry for Vikings fans. Trading a high draft pick for the talented receiver, only to release him for nothing, is more perplexing than convincing a 40-something grandfather to play quarterback.

Caution: This Brad Childress implosion will not be denied.

Got to hand it to ‘Chilly’ — if you’re going to fly as a lame duck coach, you might as well really go down in a blaze of absurdity. Not getting anything for Moss shows that Childress is really putting his best George Costanza foot forward right now, too.

Ah, but the best part of this whole drama could be what comes next.

Say Childress convinces owner Zygy Wilf for one more try. He’s going to need a quarterback, right? Don’t worry, folks. Wheezy McNabb (who worked with Chilly in Philly) will probably be available in 2011. Of course, some guy named Brett Favre might have something to mumble about that.

Get me Vince McMahon on the phone — I have a great idea for Wrestlemania.

 

TAMPA BAY AT ATLANTA

Spread: Atlanta -9

Lawless says: Atlanta to win and Tampa to cover. This might be the game of the week. The Falcons win at home but not by nine points. The Bucs are pushing to be a playoff team and this is a chance for them to measure themselves against top end competition.

Wazny says: Falcons straight up; Bucs and the points. At some point everyone will be forced to take Josh Freeman and the Bucs seriously. The Falcons should be strong enough to put that off for another week, though.

 

CHICAGO VS. BUFFALO (IN TORONTO)

Spread: Bears -2.5

Lawless says: The Bears both ways. Chicago had a week off to get ready for this game and above all else it’s the Bills.

Wazny says: The Bills to win. I find myself cheering for the Bills each week now, which probably says more about my love of bad teams and questionable coaching than rooting for the lovable underdog.

 

NEW ENGLAND AT CLEVELAND

Spread: Patriots -4.5

Lawless says: New England both ways. The Patriots are building up some steam. Cleveland has shown a glimmer of improvement but it gets squashed against the Pats.

Wazny says: The Patriots straight up and against the spread. Why does it always seem like the Browns take on a good team every week? New Orleans, Pittsburgh, and now New England. I think the ’85 Bears are next.

 

NEW YORK JETS AT DETROIT

Spread: Jets -4

Lawless says: The Jets to win and the Lions to cover. New York looked very ordinary last week while the Lions won a statement game over Washington. But the Jets aren’t the Redskins and the Leos aren’t that far along in their franchise reclamation project.

Wazny says: The Jets straight up, Lions and the points. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — no quarterback is more overrated than Mark Sanchez. That being said, the Jets defence is pretty darn good.

 

NEW ORLEANS AT CAROLINA

Spread: No line

Lawless says: New Orleans both ways. The Saints looked like Super Bowl champs last week drilling the Steelers with a combination of steady offence and brazen defence. They roll by the Panthers.

Wazny says: The Saints both ways. I shouldn’t have to explain this one.

 

MIAMI AT BALTIMORE

Spread: Baltimore -5

Lawless says: Baltimore to win and Miami to cover. There’s a chance for an upset special here but the Ravens need this win to stay atop a competitive AFC North. Home field is key for the Ravens and they’ll grind out a win.

Wazny says: Dolphins to win. If only Miami could play all their games on the road this year.

 

SAN DIEGO AT HOUSTON

Spread: San Diego -2.5

Lawless says: Houston both ways. San Diego finally won a game. They won’t parlay that success into a win on the road in Houston. The Texans can run the ball and chase down QBs. Both good measures for success at home.

Wazny says: The Texans straight up, Chargers against the spread. And so it goes for the Chargers, what with their annual march to overcome a slow start and make a run at a post-season spot.

 

ARIZONA AT MINNESOTA

Spread: Vikings -9

Lawless says: The Vikings to win, Arizona to cover. Brad Childress is licking a stamp and sending a thank you card to the schedule-maker right now. Just about anyone else in the league and we’d bet against the Vikes to win. Minnesota is clinging to life by a Brett Favre tendon.

Wazny says: The Vikings straight up, Cardinals and the points. Will Childress be on the sidelines? Probably. Will Favre play the whole game? Possibly. Are the Vikings, despite their myriad of issues, better than the Cardinals? Hopefully.

 

NEW YORK GIANTS AT SEATTLE

Spread: Giants -6

Lawless says: The Giants to win and Seattle to cover. Seattle is beginning to show the cracks we knew existed and the Giants superior defence will have its way on the road.

Wazny says: The Giants straight up and against the spread. Homer alert. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m taking the G-Men when they come up. It provides an equal chance of jubilation and frustration, I find.

 

INDIANAPOLIS AT PHILADELPHIA

Spread: Philly -3

Lawless says: Indy to win and Philly to cover. We’re tempted to take the Colts both ways but it’s a road game. The Eagles are just too unpredictable from week to week.

Wazny says: The Colts to win. Call me old-fashioned, but I just can’t put my support behind a convicted dog killer who freelances too much in the pocket.

 

KANSAS CITY AT OAKLAND

Spread: Raiders -3

Lawless says: The Chiefs both ways. It’s time for the Chiefs bubble to burst but the Raiders are also due for a flop. The Chiefs are slightly better so we’re leaning that way.

Wazny says: The Raiders straight up, Chiefs and the points. Really like the way the Raiders young guns are stepping up now. Of course, the same can be said for the Chiefs. I call this my “Coin Flip Special.”

 

DALLAS AT GREEN BAY

Spread: Packers -8

Lawless says: Green Bay both ways. The Cowboys are finished and they know it. They don’t have any competitive zeal left in their game and that will kill them.

Wazny says: The Packers both ways. Following the Jacksonville loss, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones mistakenly referred to his team’s record as 1-7. The Pack abides and makes Jerry’s foresight a reality.

 

PITTSBURGH AT CINCINNATI

Spread: Steelers -4.5

Lawless says: Pittsburgh both ways. The Steelers looked very ordinary last Sunday night in a loss to the Saints and that will be end up as bad news for the Bengals. Pittsburgh will chew them apart in front of a national Monday night audience.

Wazny says: The Steelers straight up and to cover. The TV goes off when the MNF crew tells us how great the Bengals receivers are. That should give me plenty of time to make my 8 p.m. dinner reservation.

 

RECORDS

Wazny: straight up — 8-5 last week; 69-48 overall; against the spread — 9-4 last week; 59-58 overall; Lawless: straight up — 7-6 last week; 70-47 overall); against the spread — 8-5; 64-53.

adam.wazny@freepress.mb.ca gary.lawless@freepress.mb.ca