Rolling down to Rivers

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 05/11/2021 (1425 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Is it unusual driving three hours, notably with a Jack Russell, to a small, out-of-the-way prairie town simply to discover why there’s a big new hotel there?

Here we come, Rivers.

Margie asked, “Where’s Rivers again?” I explained, “South of Pettapiece.” Awaiting The Look, I added “Thirty minutes northwest of Brandon.”

Tobans trick folks into believing provincial place-names honour nature. Bird’s Hill is named, not for birds, but James Bird, Falcon Lake for Pierre Falcon, Deer for Harry Deer — and Rivers for Joan Rivers.

Kidding.

It’s for Sir Charles Rivers-Wilson, chairman of the board of the Grand Trunk Pacific Railway.

But there is a river, the Little Saskatchewan. Why name this river — that starts and ends in Manitoba — for another province with a struggling football team? Come on Saskatchewan — where’s your Manitoba River?

Of course, Tobans dammed Little Saskatchewan River, because we’re good at that. So, now Rivers sits near beautiful, 10-kilometre-long Lake Wahtopanah.

Between the quiet rail station and grain elevator stands the 30-room, Manitoba-owned Blue Crescent Hotel. Entering, Margie pointed out a rack full of work boots.

She then exclaimed, “Why’d I do that?”

I asked, “Why not?”

“Because now you’re planning to knot all those laces together, like when you left that party in university.”

Turns out, the rack protocol prevents hydro and rail workers, who often fill the rooms, from scuffing the floors. Homey.

And I decided against my clever laces plan because, unlike 1977: cameras. Darn.

With Pirate enjoying treats from cheerful, dog-loving hotel staff, we drove past a former, reputedly haunted air force base where an expansive nine-hole course tempts among hills and waterways. For us, there goes a dozen balls.

Nearer town, Rivers Provincial Park offers coveted lakeside campsites, a beach and, behind CJ’s Snack Shack, mini-golf. There goes another dozen balls.

Rivers’ map indicates an intriguing “Loco-Labyrinth Garden.” Manitoba has a snow maze and corn mazes where, by luck, you reappear with your scared, maybe scarred, daughter by nightfall. I was fine, really. However, no one gets lost at Winnipeg’s Carol Shields Memorial Labyrinth among one-foot shrubs. For Kenville’s labyrinth, the United Church mows a pattern in the lawn.

Likewise, Rivers’ Loco-Labyrinth comprises tree seedlings in a field. Let’s give the Loco-Labyrinth time.

We visited one of Manitoba’s Super Thrifty Drug Stores — successful because it’s not just Thrifty. Understanding Tobans, it’s Super Thrifty. And the liquor outlet. Everyone knew everyone.

We craved recommended pizza at Shelly Mom’s Kitchen. I queried hotel staff why it’s not “Shelly’s Moms’.” One explained, “You know. Mom’s. It’s Shelly.”

We confirmed online it was open Fridays until 7 p.m. and scurried over at 5 p.m. No vehicles. A sign announced “Closed 3 p.m.”

Trudging away, I assured, “I hear there’s great food at the Honey House downtown.” No vehicles. A sign announced “Closed 5 p.m.”

Across the deserted street, although appearing closed, the sign announced “Open” at Lee’s Restaurant. Owner, Karen Li was soon closing for the annual movie at the Ag Grounds – Peter Rabbit 2 — but welcomed our take-out order.

The aroma beat us into our room as Pirate bounced from our open suitcase. Sensing the rarity of meals, we indulged in fantastic chicken balls, ginger beef, and on and on.

To settle our chicken balls, we strolled the well-maintained community.

Rivers has Quebec Street, Ontario Street, and Manitoba Street. Feel that, Saskatchewan? The pressure’s on.

Throughout town, volunteers placed attractive wooden benches bookended by train wheels.

Despite under 1,300 residents, Rivers has its own newspaper, the Rivers Banner. And health centre. And police force. It struck me there’s a Mayberry thing here. But four officers are on call — not Andy and Barney who’d be watching Peter Rabbit 2.

The imposing Riverdale Community Centre houses an NHL-sized arena and four curling sheets that lured the 2020 Scotties.

Children enjoy a skate park and enticing play structures — with a hill I needed to climb. Nearby, story-boards share Terry Fox’s story.

Rivers’ gas station is more than meets the eye. Behind windowless steel doors and cladding, we found Tempo Place Emporium hiding a restaurant where roast beef dinners, wings, and inventive pizza reign. It opens at 3 p.m.

And it hides a “Cocktail Lounge.” Accommodating some basic tables, it could render Manitoba-made brews, but enthusiastically offers cold Club lager. Club remains a seller in Westman. Psst: allegations persist that big-brewery Club and Standard, sold just in Manitoba, taste identical to other labels. I must pursue a research grant. Or just get started.

Our visit ended the next morning at the Honey House. Six men huddled in one section, five women in another. More tables filled with locals, and laughter. We expanded for a tremendous breakfast. They sell their innovative honey including rum-and-butter creamed honey, honey-baked breads, and an over-stuffed jambuster that covered my face.

We realized how well this beguiling community is put together. Rivers’ odd hours accommodate family and workers. It oozes simpler pleasures — comfortably slower, endearing, and alluring — for a most satisfying hotel destination.

The trip was a gamble — but Rivers delivers.

gordmackintosh@hotmail.com