Grand Forks … Great Flavours

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This article was published 04/11/2023 (793 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Grand Forks: land of lavosh, lutefisk, lefse! And strangely starting with no “l”: knoephla. Plus, Cookie Salad!

With such regional foods, and unique local joints, Grand Forks complements Winnipeg’s compelling eateries to nail the Red River Valley gastronomic experience.

Lavosh is a popular Armenian pizza-sized cracker commonly topped with Havarti cheese plus toppings, with no sauce. Eagles Crest Grill features 12 combos including my pickle-topped Cuban. Also known for 30 martinis and Fried Cheesy Pickles, enjoy Buffalo Chicken Lavosh at The Toasted Frog. Remembering a joke, Margie cringed when I asked, “Where’s the frog tonight? Over at IHOP?”

Lutefisk is a Nordic lye-soaked, jelly-like regional fish dish. Folks explain, “It’s an acquired taste.” T-shirts jest “I tried lutefisk twice! Once going down and then coming up.” Although fresh near Christmas or frozen at L&M Meats, it’s hard to find. Odd.

Lefse (“lef-sa”) is a revered Norwegian soft thin potato bread. T-shirts proclaim, “I am here to eat all of the lefse.” Find it at supermarkets to warm with butter, sugar, and cinnamon, or to roll around hotdogs. Sometimes it’s served at Bernie’s, owned by Food Network star, Molly Yeh.

Bernie’s serves knoephla (“nif-la”), North Dakota’s German dumpling-vegetable-chicken soup. T-shirts declare “Knoephla or nothing.” And order the region’s yummy chopped cookie and mandarin orange pudding, hilariously called “Cookie Salad.” I asked, “Any Swedish Fish Salad?” Our server replied, “Minnesotans call anything a salad.”

Discover colourful spots like The Red Pepper, The Blue Moose, Joe Black’s. Find cute names like Pete’s Za and O’ for Heaven’s Cakes. Souses phone spouses from The Office Pub, “I’m late here at the office. Burrrp.”

Grand Forks conceals countless dive bars — like The Bun Lounge with its long, windowless, colourless front and two metal doors. Seeing no buns for sale, I asked about the name’s origin. The bartender replied, “Good question.” Mystery!

Because I ask good questions, at Judy’s Tavern I asked for Judy. Bartender Mick revealed, “Long gone. And Judy’s a man.” Original owner, boxer John Ruddy, was nicknamed Judy.

The Hub Pub’s bartender asked ME a good question, “Tall or short?” I thought, “Both. I’m six feet. Margie’s five-feet four.” He poured a “tall” ale from neighbouring Half Brothers Brewing called “Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rainbows.” And we happily found Half Brother’s red ale called “Lumberjack Snack.” You can’t make this up.

Parrot’s Cay is a buzzing, graffiti-encased hidey-hole. Find crawdad Lavosh. Its Shark Wings are unrelated to sharks; they’re admired chicken wings. Six of nine heat levels “…will make you sweat.” For a $100 gift certificate, eat seven wings in five minutes, then sit five minutes.

Search for Darcy’s Café. Heading to The Roadhouse Café for great breakfasts, we drove past Darcy’s for years, unaware its beautiful biscuits and gravy should enter the Miss America competition.

The Red Pepper posts on its utensil container: “No. We don’t have forks! Seriously!!!” In so-called Grand Forks. Staff explain why: “Always been that way.” Margie easily dispatched her enchilada by spoon. I adore the “Pep’s” Ham Grinder — a sub with taco meat. Margie methodically decoded its esteemed secret white sauce. After peculiar mouth movements, head tilts, and hums, highlighted by spoon waving, she revealed: “It’s peppery.” Write that down.

Grand Forks houses more local Mexican restaurants than expected just south of this border. Casa Mexico’s eight-page menu and atmosphere saves flights south. We performed a time-honoured culinary tradition: ruining appetites with free chips and salsa.

And I was oddly drawn to sparse little El Gordito. Did you know “gordito” means “chubby guy?” I don’t care. And I’m only chubby because of this column.

The wonderful Blue Moose delivers log cabin ambience. I practised saying its Supercaliforniaextraordinarilydelicious Burger — so I ordered it. Loudly. Saying it three times. The loaded patty sits on cucumber. I remarked “That’s different.” Margie replied, “Pickles are from cucumbers, so it’s close.” I didn’t correct her. I know about pickles, and varieties. It’s important being exact about their source. Pickles are from jars.

Ely’s Ivy serves local farm-to-table dishes like Honey Pan Fried Walleye from Red Lake, Minnesota. We enjoyed a crispy take on America’s potato dish called “tots.” Here they’re “Pommes Paillasson.” And the rotating menu lists Camel Burger. I inquired, “North Dakota has camels?” After the expected reply, I asked, “Who’s Ely”? Answer: “It’s short for ‘elephant.’” It’s local-exotic.

Harry’s Steakhouse indulges guests among brick, dark wood, and red leather — with linen tablecloths and crooner playlists. Savour perfect mains, plus Harry’s Style Hashbrowns piled with bacon, blue cheese crumbles, and caramelized onions. They’re enough for a hockey team. You can’t make this up. Ok, I did — but they’re enough for a Lutefisk fan club. I teased, “We’ll have another.”

Lugging leftovers, we exercised by lumbering to Brick and Barley for their “Real Good Cookies.” Each weigh one pound, so we got just two.

Find Widman’s Candy Shop for chocolate-covered potato chips called “Chippers.” A fellow exclaimed, “Even better: mint ones! I’m sending a box to Oregon. To OREGON!” If it was, say, Wisconsin, meh — so we bought some. Also find chocolate-covered pickles, jalapenos – and green olives! Plus, chocolate-covered lutefisk. You can’t make this up.

Ok, I did, again — but just with the lutefisk.

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