Ottawa is for lovers

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 02/07/2022 (1327 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Pig Island! Hog’s Back Falls. Mud Lake!

With place-names like those, no wonder Ottawa isn’t among Canada’s top summer destinations. Fun-seekers imagine it offers more parliamentary points of order than points of interest, more museums than pubs.

Our capital deserves another look. Discover its delightful buzz, off-beat attractions and, yes, more pubs than museums – also surely Canada’s pub capital. Mind you, the museums captivate.

Before departing, Margie and I decided we’d add to the countless “love locks” on Ottawa’s Corktown Footbridge. I said, “Let’s get a different-looking, brightly-coloured padlock!”

I later saw they cost over $20.

I found my high school lock.

Margie announced, “Let’s engrave ‘G&M.”’

Understanding these sensitive matters, I replied, “No, ‘M&G!”’

For consideration, I added, “And ‘P’ for Pirate!”

No response.

We prefer two hotel room features: a view, and no adjoining door — to avoid hearing neighbours, and them hearing my snoring and dialing the bomb squad. Ottawa’s ARC Hotel promised convenient, affordable luxury — and no adjoining door.

Finding an adjoining door, the other available room promised “a large single pane window.” The window was indeed large — exposing just a red brick wall. As we reclined looking out, we appreciated that one brick row was vertical.

But the ARC proved comfy, with helpful staff, and our view encouraged exploration.

For views, consider Ottawa’s Marriot, Westin, or Andaz. Before a recent wedding I convinced Margie that neighbouring Gatineau’s Best Western offered great rates and river views. I didn’t grasp that a long, long hike over the Alexandra Bridge in muggy 33 C heat meant appearing at the ceremony drenched. Margie still has something to say about that.

What to book in the capital? A Hawaiian tiki boat! With twelve seats around a bar, and toilet room behind the sign, “Take a Liki,” Captain Kim, Gabby, and Ling explained important safety features: two sippy cups. To tunes like “In the Summertime,” and “Walking on Sunshine,” and Kim steering into each dramatic wave, we now mastered the mugginess.

They described racing a children’s pirate ship. I shrieked, “Pirate ship?” Margie assured, “Next visit!” Ottawa-Gatineau also offers “amphibus” tours aboard The Lady Dive, paddleboarding, a Quebec-to-Ontario zipline, and affordable plane rides. An hour west, whitewater rafting awaits thrill-seekers. 20 minutes north, 200-foot bungee jumping awaits kooks.

At Canada’s Tulip Festival, Commissioner’s Park teems with folks enjoying boat rentals and food trucks. Ottawa plants the most tulips in the world. Petals are edible, tasting like onion and potato. I’m sticking with perogies.

Tip: to avoid glares, before exploring the flower beds, don’t carry bought flowers — well, not tulips.

Tulips further enliven spaces throughout Ottawa. A local friend also says squirrels busily transplant bulbs for springtime surprises on neighbourhood lawns.

Ottawa offers understated waterfalls. See, smell, and hear impressive Rideau Falls from obscure Tavern on the Falls.

Byward Market bustles with buskers, outdoor vendors, shops, and eats, even a pizza vending machine, and BeaverTails. President Obama ate one in 2009. At Le Moulin de Provence, buy Obama Cookies. He ate one of those too. Displaying images of that moment, Obama still rules here.

Among Market taverns, visit Ottawa’s oldest: 1849’s Chateau Lafayette, aka The Laff. For balcony views, patronize The Pour House.

Enjoy local craft beer at brewpubs and The Brig, Earl of Sussex, D’Arcy McGee’s, and Lieutenant’s Pump – where I implored amused staff, “Who put an “f” in “lieutenant?” There, and at The Snug Pub, four pubs thrive under one roof; mega-pubs! Pub Italia touts 150-plus offerings from its Beer Bible.

On Metcalfe Street at Laurier, Joseph-Noel Ritchot and George-Etienne Cartier negotiated Manitoba joining Canada. We awaited a sign – maybe smell a Nip, see a pothole. Zilch. But then: a mosquito!

Walk the clifftop path around the stunning Library of Parliament hiding behind Parliament’s Centre Block. See AND HEAR Oscar Peterson’s statue. Nearby, turds apparently emerge from Ottawa’s Courthouse walls; not symbolism, surely.

For public art, Canada’s capital oddly flaunts a giant spider and colander – allegedly symbolizing, respectively, motherhood and the Stanley Cup. I understand The Man with Two Hats statue if symbolizing politicians with, forbid, two views.

The Canal Ritz served a delicious waterside dinner. After trekking the Canal Pathway to our room, I realized I forgot my favourite cap. The man with no hat.

Among other restaurants, Mamma Grazzi’s serves popular dishes in the concealed Clarendon Courtyard. Try finding Tavern at the Gallery for its pleasant patio amid apple trees. Above the Rideau locks, La Terrasse offers artistic meals at The Chateau Laurier – not to be confused with Cinderella Castle. Relish Elgin Street’s venerable Al’s Steakhouse – not to be confused with Al’s Diner.

I walked to Maple Leaf Souvenirs and Cigars to engrave on our love lock “M&G” – with a little heart; $10. Spare no expense.

On Corktown Footbridge, as Margie clicked the lock to a railing, I wonder why she exclaimed, “You DO love me more than Pirate!”

A week later we discovered Winnipeg’s Assiniboine River footbridge between Wellington Crescent and Omand Park – with 61 love locks! Margie said, “Ok, engrave a lock with ‘P.”’

I replied, “With a heart.”

“A really BIG one!”

gordmackintosh@hotmail.com