Hard on eyes, tougher on brain

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/09/2010 (5531 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Tough to watch, wasn’t it, Bombers fans?

Seriously, it might have been easier to have one’s eyeballs glued open for a Dharma and Greg marathon than cringe through the offensive malfeasance that typified the Bombers’ spirit-crushing 17-13 loss to the Toronto Argonauts on Sunday.

It’s not just that it was the fifth time this season that the Bombers have frittered away a road game by less than seven points. It’s not just that the Toronto Argonauts, who were without MVP running back Cory Boyd won, incredibly, with just 90 yards passing from a (QB Cleo) Lemon that always seems to make lemonade.

It’s not just that the Bombers stellar defensive performance — in particular the dominance of defensive lineman Doug Brown, who made Argos centre Dominic Picard his own personal chew toy — was betrayed by dropped balls (Hello, Adarius Bowman) and a stupefying lack of offensive imagination.

Heck, it’s not even that — with the Bombers’ playoff hopes in the balance on a third-and-two gamble with two minutes remaining — they hand the ball off to… Andre Sadeghian.

That’s right: Andre Sadeghian, a non-import out of McMaster who has played on four different CFL teams since being drafted in 2007. That third-down gamble, with the Bombers trailing by four points and well within field-goal range, was Sadeghian’s first carry of the year.

I’m not making this up. The Argos stuffed Sadeghian with no gain, took the ball and ran out the clock.

No, it’s not any of those things. It’s all of them.

Indeed, the Bombers’ 2010 season has been a study in forced abstinence. All that mounting frustration. The teasing, the flirting. Then going home alone.

Seriously, what’s wrong with these guys? They go on the road and, offensively, they put up more than 375 yards in offence in spite of themselves. They hold the Argos to zero points in the first half. Combined with last week’s 31-2 Banjo Bowl victory, that meant the Bombers defence had not surrendered a single point in six straight quarters.

But go figure if the Argos’ Mr. Everything, Chad Owens, doesn’t return a punt 80 yards to pay dirt in the second half. Then (spoiler alert for the squeamish) came the Toronto’s third-and-16 fake punt that netted 31 yards — their longest play from scrimmage all afternoon, for Pete’s sake — that lead directly to a 50-yard Argos field goal.

Boom, there’s your difference. There’s your eighth loss of the season.

Maybe we should have known. If I had a hair follicle for every critical game the Bombers have lost in Toronto in the last 15 years, I’d have bangs like Justin freakin’ Bieber.

This trip was supposed to be different, though, wasn’t it? The Bombers — the team that cried, “We’re better than our record” — were to use this game against the crippled Argos as a springboard back into the East Division playoff race. This was going to turn around a disappointing season under rookie head coach Paul LaPolice and give notice that the Bombers were playoff-worthy contenders.

After all, the Argos, without the services of Boyd and entering the contest on a three-game losing streak, were supposed to be just what the doctor ordered.

But nobody said it was Dr. Kevorkian.

So now the Bombers have lost the season series to both the Argos and Hamilton Tiger-Cats, both 6-5, meaning the local 12 are four games out of a playoff spot in the East with just eight regular-season games to play.

The math means that the Bombers last hope lies in a crossover berth to catch the 3-8 B.C. Lions, who managed to cough the ball up five times in the second half in a jaw-dropping 35-31 loss Saturday to the Cats.

It was a game, in fact, that the Lions, inexplicably, seemed desperate to lose.

Come to think of it, beleaguered fans of both the Lions and Bombers might be wise to start a support group given that their teams are about to meet back-to-back (Oct. 2 in B.C., Oct. 11 in Winnipeg) for a critical series that could determine each team’s unlikely playoff aspirations.

My, can’t you already feel the magic?

randy.turner@freepress.mb.ca