The only thing Tebow should be throwing is a towel

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 07/03/2016 (3522 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

If you were surprised to hear that a quarterback — who is exceedingly more famous than talented — is contemplating coming to play in the CFL, you wouldn’t be as surprised to hear that the Montreal Alouettes, naturally, already own his rights.

Whether it was Michael Sam, Chad Ochocinco, Jesse Palmer, Ahman Green, Jerry Porter, or the now-late Lawrence Phillips, the Als seemingly, and on an annual basis, never miss an opportunity to sign a neon-light NFL castaway who brings both attention and hopefully ticket and jersey sales to their franchise. While Phillips was the only one in recent memory that was actually successful as a contributing starter, the others certainly drew their fair share of both headlines and spectacle.

Recently, in an interview with the NFL Network, when the CFL option was discussed, Tim Tebow’s former college coach Urban Meyer mentioned that, “…if there’s a right (opportunity) I think he’d probably do it.”

Allow me to echo the sentiments of most of those who follow the CFL in saying that the game up here is most certainly not the right opportunity for Timothy to refine his pivot skills.

Even if you knew little about Tebow’s trials and tribulations as an NFL player, you probably did know his most glaring weakness was the fact that he plays the position of quarterback, but he isn’t very good at throwing the football. This fundamental flaw was covered up in the NFL as long as it could be by limiting his passing attempts and exposure, and reconfiguring offensive playbooks to run the ball as first, second and third options.

In his three years in the NFL, Tebow completed an underwhelming 48 per cent of his attempted passes. Even the former Bachelor, Jesse Palmer, completed just over 52 per cent of his throws in the two seasons he saw the field in the NFL, but couldn’t get off the bench when he was with the Alouettes for a stint in 2006. No, Tebow’s legacy in the NFL was that of a read-option quarterback who averaged five yards a rush in his career, but who had the throwing mechanics of a used Pontiac Aztek (listed prominently on Time magazine’s 50 worst cars of all time).

So naturally, when queried as to where Tebow could resurrect his dormant since 2013 football career, any number of American football experts — most knowing very little about the Canadian Football League — have suggested Tebow could somehow thrive up here in a professional environment where the field is longer, wider and more reliant on passing.

That is like sending Donald Trump to the Kanye West finishing school of social graces and decorum, and somehow expecting him to emerge a changed man.

No, as much of a super duper guy and winningest of winners that Tebow is said to be, it would take more than a divine moment for him to flourish in the CFL with the kind of arm and accuracy that he brings to the table. For every former all-American, all everything QB that has success north of the border, 30 others seemingly come and go — and those are ones without a hitch in their windup. Montreal could certainly revamp its entire offence to centre around his running prowess, but who here thinks the Al’s GM Jim Popp has the kind of patience it would take for him to be a success?

Tebow would bring an army of interest and fandom with him, to be sure, and a gaggle of international press back to Montreal — for what must now seem like an annual visit — but all signs point to an unceremonious end like so many other heralded QBs that have flickered out from the NFL.

In the face of such harsh realities, should we expect this to impede an eventual signing with Montreal, or a suggestion that he try to morph into a Jason Clermont-esque slotback? Probably not, as the only thing that exceeds American ignorance of the Canadian football game is a certain team’s penchant for reality show type theatre.

 

Doug Brown, once a hard-hitting defensive lineman and frequently a hard-hitting columnist, appears weekly in the Free Press.

Twitter: @DougBrown97