When men act like boys

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/11/2017 (3150 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I’m getting my big break this Christmas season.

Prepare to turn green with envy, because I have been recruited to portray Shermy the hapless shepherd in one performance of Manitoba Theatre for Young People’s production of A Charlie Brown Double Bill.

This will be a world première of sorts in the sense it’s the first time two Peanuts classics — the musical play You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown and A Charlie Brown Christmas, wherein our sad-sack hero searches for the true meaning of the season — have been spliced together into a single musical extravaganza.

I will be squeezing my oversized frame into a shepherd’s robes and delivering Shermy’s one and only line — “Every Christmas it’s the same. I always end up playing a shepherd.” — next Wednesday at a special performance organized by Variety, the Children’s Charity of Manitoba, for 300 inner-city elementary school kids from David Livingstone Community School, King Edward School and William Whyte School.

(For the record, the public run of A Charlie Brown Double Bill is Dec. 8-30. Tickets are $23 to $30 and are available at MTYP.ca. About 20 shows are scheduled at the moment, but more will likely be added because tickets are going fast.)

My shot at theatrical stardom came about because my buddy Louis Trepel, who is organizing the Dec. 6 performance for economically challenged kids on behalf of Variety, thought it would be hilarious to see a 300-pound newspaper columnist pretending to be a pint-sized kid in a Christmas pageant.

My philanthropist pal has talked me into doing a lot of strange stuff for charity, including most recently when I agreed to strut my overstuffed stuff on stage with Thunder From Down Under, an Australian all-male travelling exotic dance review.

As a community service, I should stress at this point that no one will be undulating in an exotic manner or doffing their shepherd’s duds in the heart-tugging and festive MTYP production.

After seeing the show next week, the kids will be treated to a meet-and-greet with the Peanuts cast, then they’ll enjoy lunch courtesy of Salisbury House and goodie bags with stuff from Pratts Wholesale.

“I love the idea of being able to give kids who might not have the opportunity a special experience to hold onto, something that would be very memorable for them,” Trepel says.

To prepare for my big break in musical theatre, I drove down to MTYP’s headquarters at The Forks early Monday morning to attend a rehearsal, where I met Greg Klassen, the company’s marketing and communications manager, who explained the original idea was for me to whiz around the stage on roller-blades.

“There’s a lot of winter scenes in A Charlie Brown Christmas, so they skate a lot and we thought we’d put you on skates,” Klassen told me as he laughed.

“Fortunately for you, you don’t own roller-blades. Also, sanity prevailed. We don’t want to hurt you. The best roller-blader in the cast is Sally (Charlie Brown’s little sister) and she took a little spill. Roller-blades are not for the faint of heart.”

Before joining the gang at rehearsal, the first requirement was to present my pudgy presence to Diane Klisko, who has been head of the theatre’s troupe’s wardrobe department for 13 years and has seen a thing or two.

After sizing up my six-foot-four frame for several seconds, Klisko stuffed me into a fuzzy shepherd’s robe and matching headdress, then handed me a shepherd’s crook that had been jerry-rigged with a lot of brown duct tape.

“I look like The Dude in The Big Lebowski,” I said.

Klisko disagreed.

“You look very biblical. The fabric and colour of the robe bring us right into the Christmas season. You are a bit taller than I’m used to, though. I should have been standing on a stool.”

Then it was off to the rehearsal hall where director Pablo Felices-Luna was putting the Peanuts characters through their paces with the unmistakable Charlie Brown theme song (the jazz composition Linus and Lucy) being performed by two of the young actor/musicians.

You are going to be impressed, because when they handed me a copy of my one and only line, I was able to recite it from memory, owing to the fact that I have seen A Charlie Brown Christmas roughly 500 times over the last 60 years.

“Wow!” Pablo gushed after I spluttered the line in my best Shermy voice. “Doug is already off book.”

And that line concludes my dramatic musical theatre debut, after which I sit down and enjoy the rest of the show. At least I was supposed to sit down, but I helpfully pointed out to our director that, minutes later, when the signature dance scene begins, Shermy traditionally joins in and busts a few Frankenstein-style moves.

Seriously, I talked director Pablo into allowing me to show off Shermy’s dancing chops with the rest of the cast, all of whom laughed to the point where I thought they were going to wet themselves when I began sleepwalking in place as Shermy does in the beloved animated TV special that was first broadcast in 1965.

When I asked choreographer Sara Topham what she thought of Shermy’s impromptu moves, she smiled and said: “You did ‘The Shermy.’ It was really, really good. I felt like maybe it would have been good to show us on your face how much fun you were having. You were concentrating on your moves, but it was top-notch.”

Later, mildly soaked in sweat, because those shepherd costumes are not designed for dancing, I sat down with our director to get some insight into this first-of-its-kind treatment of two Peanuts classics.

“I still can’t believe we’re getting to do this,” Pablo told me. “I called the rights-holders to get their permission and they said, ‘Sure! Let us know how it works out.’

“We all talk about how everyone knows the story. I grew up in Peru, so I didn’t grow up with A Charlie Brown Christmas. But I have fallen in love with this story…

“It’s all about how we help pick our friends up when they’re feeling down and that’s a beautiful thing to think about in the holiday season. It’s also a lot of fun! There’s so much joy.”

You’d think Charlie Brown himself would be stressed out waiting for opening day, but Alberta-born/Toronto-based actor Peter Fernandes, 28, is champing at the bit to play the round-headed character who desperately wants to uncover the real meaning of Christmas.

“No exaggeration, this is a dream come true for me,” Fernandes said during a rehearsal break. “Doing the show and doing it in this building means a lot to me. This is the first theatre company that gave me a job out of school.

“I’ve sung the songs for years and watched the TV specials. I never thought I’d get to do it. I feel so lucky. Charlie Brown is about finding happiness in your friends and family and all the little things.”

There will be other “celebrity” Shermys throughout the play’s festive run. Also on tap are Mayor Brian Bowman, NDP Leader Wab Kinew, radio host Ace Burpee, kids entertainer Al Simmons, Shaw personality Tracy Koga and Steven Schipper of the Royal Manitoba Theatre Centre, to name a few.

Given the nostalgic pull of the iconic shows, more than the usual number of grown-ups are expected to attend. So buy your tickets now, kids — and get ready to feel overcome by peace and joy. Because, in the immortal words of Linus Van Pelt, “That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.”

doug.speirs@freepress.mb.ca