Arden’s debut novel modestly whimsical

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This article was published 02/12/2023 (999 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Just in time for the festive season comes a gift from one of Canada’s most insightful wordsmiths.

Sure, at 15 years from start to finish, Jann Arden’s latest book, The Bittlemores, has aged longer than grandma’s fruitcake. Started during a tour to Nashville, the acclaimed songwriter, author, podcaster and TV star fleshed out the Bittlemores’ tale of woe between sold-out gigs and award dinners. Fans will find Arden’s first novel worth the wait.

Meet the Bittlemores, the poster couple for creepy, cantankerous ne’er-do-wells. Harp Bittlemore and Mrs. B (who’s only referred to by honorific and “wife”) live a deceitful, mean-spirited life on a lethargic, barren farm in the fictional Blackhills. Their days revolve around pain, either inflicting or deadening it; their life is time-stamped before the normalization of social media, DNA testing and cell phones.

So when the fallout from a local, cold cased baby-snatching crime threatens the Bittlemores’ stodgy status quo, the couple go into “fight’”mode, leaving their daughter Margaret, her teenaged daughter Willa, Willa’s BFF, a new-to-town cop, the school gym teacher and a trucker to try and save the day. Plus three old cows and a mangy cat. Nothing CSI-ish here.

No stranger to acclaim — eight Junos, 17 top ten music singles, a hit TV show, plus screenwriting and acting awards for starters — Arden says fiction and songwriting are kindred spirits. “You can do and create whatever you want in both,” she said during a recent promotional book tour. “I never thought this book would get published in a zillion years. I just wanted to see if I could do it. Everyone should do this at some point in their life.”

Arden’s fans will find The Bittlemores a big leap from her non-fiction literary successes – If I Knew, Don’t You Think I’d Tell You? (2002), I’ll Tell You One Damn Thing, and That’s All I Know! (2004), Falling Backwards (2011), Feeding My Mother (2017) and If I Knew Then: Finding Wisdom in Failure and Power in Aging (2020). The self-depreciating voice that’s typical of her written or spoken text isn’t evident in The Bittlemores, even though bits of her trademark angst surface throughout the narrative.

Still, Arden’s self-described “rural fairytale” won’t please everyone. While there are some nice turns of phrase — “(He) could talk the leg off the lamb of God” or “The gob just hung on to the back of his jacket like a tiny, wet monkey” — it’s hard to overlook the sillyfying add-ons of talking animals and a cow that spells letters in the dirt with its hoof. Seriously?

But Arden says readers who “have a bit of whimsy in (their) heart” will connect with the revenge, cold case, coming-of-age storyline that makes her book an intriguing, easy read. Expect a relatively seamless entry into The Bittlemores’ somewhat complicated world, thanks to some disciplined editing: Arden says thousands of words, enough for a sequel, hit the cutting room floor prior to publication.

And maybe that’s The Bittlemores’ greatest gift of all.

GC Cabana-Coldwell is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer who will always balance the whimsy in her heart with optimistic realism.