Undue undies ire could make for brief romance

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This article was published 25/06/2024 (784 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new girlfriend thinks it’s cute to wear men’s tighty-whities — you know, men’s briefs. I don’t like them on her! The first time she was undressing with them on, I was shocked.

I asked her if she had something she’d like to tell me about her sexuality and she said, “Not particularly.” That felt like a dodge, but she seems to really enjoy sex with me. I’m kind of a macho guy. I’m wondering what this is really all about, and if there’s a hidden message I’m supposed to be getting.

I’d find it much sexier if she’d wear some little bikini panties. Should I buy her some as a gift? Will she get the hint, or will it cause a big fight?

— Don’t Get It! East Kildonan

Dear Don’t Get It: Forget the bikini-panties gift hint. Oh, she’d get the point all right — and she wouldn’t appreciate it!

How would you feel if she tried to replace your choice of underwear with pink panties?

What you really need to do is talk about how she feels when she’s wearing tighty-whities — comfort-wise and also sexually. It might turn you off — or possibly turn you back on. It’s worth a try, especially if you find out she’s only wearing them for comfort.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got pregnant and married young at 19. I raised my family of four kids and stayed home to take great care of them.

Now they’re off living their own lives with their own young families. The house has emptied — just my husband here with me. I look at this newly retired man sitting across from me eating dinner and wonder, “Who is he? Who am I?”

I don’t want this scene to be the last chapter, but I don’t know what to do! I feel like there must be more to try in my life. My husband, on the other hand, is content with a remote in his hand, watching TV until he goes to bed.

He says he supported me all this time, and he deserves to do his retirement the way he wants. Now he’s just sitting there like a zombie, 12 to 16 hours a day!

I tried to speak with him about getting out and having fun together. He says, “You go out!” Last night he actually yelled at me, “Join a group or something, and get off my back! I’m fine by myself.”

I don’t want this to be it. I’m lost as far as what to do with him. I realized this week that maybe I don’t love him anymore. For sure, the respect is going. Help me please!

— Wife of TV Addict, Transcona

Dear Wife: You have to alert your husband to the black tornado hovering on his horizon. But first, quietly research every activity possible within 30 minutes of your home. Make a detailed list and phone or check online for all the information.

The Manitoba Association of Senior Communities (manitobaseniorcommunities.ca) could help you with this project and offer referrals to many services and activities for older adults near you.

Then tell your man you two have only a part of your lives left to live on Earth, and you can’t waste it. Then show him all your info. Also, ask him to come with you to couples counselling sessions. He’ll probably say no to that — until he finds out you’re going anyway and he might actually lose you.

It’d best if a counsellor tells your husband how dangerous screen-watching addiction can be, and how it can freeze out your partner. If he won’t budge beyond it, join clubs and charities on your own. You might also look for a part-time job that’s fun, brings you new friends and pays you a salary.

That’ll help liberate you from your husband if you decide you need to leave him in order to keep your sanity.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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