New Madeleine Roger album about embracing the Nerve to love who you are

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 07/09/2024 (414 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Madeleine Roger has been trustfalling for two years straight.

In 2022, the Winnipeg folk singer and songwriter made a pledge to start saying “yes” to anything and everything that scared her — personally, professionally and creatively.

“It has completely changed my life,” she says of the curiosity-driven philosophy.

“I suppose my theory was, if I could eliminate holding myself back then more things would become possible.”

Seated on the green vintage loveseat where she does most of her writing, Roger, 32, is beaming from ear-to-ear while she talks excitedly about her sophomore album, Nerve, and all the grief, heartbreak, love and lust that went into the project.

Fear — of failure, of disappointing somebody, of not living up to expectations — was a constant companion throughout its creation.

“It’s the whole foundation of this entire project. Every decision has been about (overcoming fear),” she says.

The first hurdle was cold-calling (Instagram direct-messaging, actually) some of her musical idols to see if they’d be open to collaborating on the record. To Roger’s delight, Josh Kaufman — a member of the band Bonny Light Horseman who has worked with the likes of Bob Weir, the War on Drugs and Anaïs Mitchell — agreed to sign on as producer.

That meant sending 30 deeply personal songs to a relative stranger in the hopes he could clarify her vision. Instead, Kaufman settled on the most vulnerable tracks.

“Which was not the album I was intending to make,” says Roger, adding she crumpled to the floor and cried for 20 minutes upon seeing the draft tracklist. It was an illuminating reaction.

“It’s quite scary to share so much of yourself all in one pile, but the more I thought about why that was so terrifying, the more I realized it was extra important for me to do it that way because it meant I was uncovering a new layer of my artistry.”

Nerve is made up of 10 autobiographical songs, the details of which are, at times, jarringly specific.

Roger sings candidly about past relationships, good and bad, about becoming a caregiver for her terminally ill Oma, about the death of a dear friend and about letting go of materialism in search of a higher purpose.

Some Kinda Nerve tells the story of a handful of charismatic but complicated lovers from her early 20s, while All My Love chronicles, in vivid detail, the fallout of an ex moving out of the home they made together.

The lyrics of the latter are literal but telling: “In our garden / It soon will turn to fall / Who will help me / I cannot eat it all.”

Roger recalls blanching a lot of arugula that autumn to deal with the bounty of her front-yard veggie patch, which has since turned to a tall garden of weeds — more the result of a busy touring schedule than sorrow.

Since there are two sides to every relationship, Roger made sure to consult with her former partner, the subject of a handful of songs, before sharing details of their private life publicly.

“I would much prefer to keep a beautiful, loving friendship intact than release a song that I think is good,” she says.

Roger also doesn’t let herself off the hook. Her human flaws are on display throughout the album. She’s insecure, she’s regretful and she’s pining after a married man.

You Don’t Think About Me is written from the perspective of her ex. It’s a reflective thought exercise about what it’s like to love somebody who “wasn’t always the easiest to love.”

Putting her whole imperfect heart on the line has proven to be a gratifying experience since the album’s release on Aug. 30.

“I thought that sharing that much of myself was going to be either boring or overwhelming for people, rather than something people could relate to, but I’ve been getting so many messages … people are seeing themselves in the songs,” she says.

Recording in Kaufman’s studio — located in an abandoned office building in Kingston, N.Y. — also required Roger to step beyond her comfort zone. For one, it’s expensive to record internationally without access to Canadian artist grants. For two, it’s hard to relinquish control of creative vision.

Over four days, Kaufman accompanied Roger’s vocals and acoustic guitar with whatever instrument he thought the track needed. At times, she wasn’t sure how everything would fit together.

“In the past, I’ve held the art that I’ve made really close. What I’ve been finding with this is that it’s so much more expansive and beautiful if I can trustfall into letting other people bring their brilliance into what’s being made,” she says.

Beyond the process and the content, Roger has also faced fears in the marketing of Nerve. The album cover is a photo of herself staring in the sun. It’s a divergence from her debut album, Cottonwood, which features an illustration of the typically camera-shy artist.

When asked what this project has meant to her personally, Roger takes a moment to answer, petting her cat Cricket, who’s curled up in her lap and cone-bound after a too-exciting outdoor adventure.

“The one thing that came to mind is scary to say, so I’m going to say it,” she says, staying true to the mission. “I think it was about accepting who I am and how I exist in the world.”

For Roger, Nerve is exposing and raw, but also steely and certain.

eva.wasney@winnipegfreepress.com

X: @evawasney