A mommy not required to stick up for husband

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/12/2014 (4304 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband drives heavy equipment and loves his work. I have two degrees and don’t like my teaching job much. I think he’s the smart one, really. We went to a Christmas party with my colleagues recently and an educated woman started quizzing my husband about his work. She started implying that she found him too smart for his job and he was wasting his time doing such lowly work.

I got the feeling she was finding him very manly, certainly more than her professor husband, who’s a puny little prig. She was flirting with him and thought my man looked uncomfortable. I walked up to her and whispered in her ear, “Stop flirting with my husband.” She turned red and flounced out of the room. My husband asked what I said to her and I told him. He was mad. Why? — Don’t Get It, St. James

Dear Don’t Get It: He didn’t want you defending him; he wanted to handle it his own way. He may have been building up to cut her off with a smart remark and you swooped in to save him, like a mommy. Or, maybe he was getting a kick out of this woman’s awkward attempts to flatter him, even though she kept sticking her foot in her mouth. From now on, let him handle his own conversations any way he wants.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was sitting in traffic when a woman in a tuque drove so close to my car she almost scraped me. I drove up to her at the next stop light, rolled down the window and swore at her. She pulled off her hat and said, “Look who you’re talking to!” It was my boss. I apologized to her the next day and she reluctantly said she would let it go, but she still looked very grim. I’m scared I’m on the “first-to-go” list. Should I start looking for a job? I love my job! — Hothead, Winnipeg

Dear Hothead: Do something extra at work and go in and tell her. Say you wanted to make up for your rudeness the other week. “Making it up” is a nice way to get over lingering bad feelings. You should be able to tell if that happens for her by her reaction. If not, there’s no harm in dusting off your resumé and updating it. It’s good to have something cooking on the back burner when you’ve lost your popularity.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is in response to Concerned Mom who doesn’t enjoy when her husband plays loud music while “babysitting” their child. I think the bigger concern is her obvious lack of trust in her husband’s ability to parent as a whole. A parent is not babysitting, her husband is parenting. I think she needs to take a bigger look at what could be some control issues. Babysitting is when someone else watches your child while both parents are out. — Concerned for the Dad, Winnipeg

Dear Concerned: While you make a point, that doesn’t negate the issue at hand, which is that constant loud noise harms babies’ ears. It is too easy to get stalled on political correctness when solving a problem.

This dad needs to change his attitude and his behaviour. His wife may truly feel her husband is “babysitting,” not “parenting,” because he doesn’t seem to care as much as she does about their baby’s protection. Why should she just give him more trust? He wants to play his loud music anytime and anywhere, even if he’s with the baby. How does that make her a mother with control issues? She’s trying to protect the child.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6