Try dating women who have a masculine side

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 08/05/2015 (4143 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a guy. I prefer women for sex, but fall in love with men emotionally. I am always stuck in the middle of a bromance, but the guy I like has no idea. I’ve had serious crushes on about three men in the last two years and couldn’t do enough for them. I was there for a guy whose girlfriend had broken up with him, and there for a guy who needed help repairing his house. I would cook for these guys because I am a really good barbecuer, do errands and even volunteer to help them move. They had no idea about my feelings.

At night they would see their girlfriends and I would see mine for sex, but it felt like I was sharing a fun sport. I don’t have any desire to have sex with a man. What is wrong with me? — Striking Out in My Life, Winnipeg

Dear Striking Out: There are a lot of married and single men who actually prefer the company of men for doing most things — sports, hanging out, talking — and don’t understand women as well as their male friends or have as much in common with them. They may fall in love and marry a woman and enjoy raising children together, but lack closeness and still prefer free time with the guys. There are also a lot of women who get along better with other women and don’t really understand men, but prefer sexual romance with men.

You’re in a difficult position because you feel romantic love towards men. The only piece that doesn’t fit is the sex. What if you were to try orienting yourself towards a sporty, active, tougher woman who is more of a grown-up “tomboy.” Your other alternative is to experiment with men sexually, but that idea doesn’t seem to turn you on, at least at this point. This is a different and unusual problem. Any input from readers would be much appreciated. Please write to the addresses at the bottom of this column.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got in a fight with my boyfriend in a restaurant and slapped his face hard. He was in shock, but 10 seconds later our food arrived. He doesn’t like to waste food, so we sat back down and ate dinner in silence. One side of his face was red. Then he went to the bathroom, but snuck out the door and stuck me with the bill. I paid the whole $50 or they would have called the cops. He told me to stay away from him, but I have been calling him and texting. He told me to leave him alone 50 times, but I still love him! I slapped him because he called me two very terrible words. He deserved that slap and more. Now I want him back, but he has to get down on his knees and apologize first. — Love Rules, Windsor Park

Dear Love Rules: You’re not getting the message. He’s totally disengaged from you — not even in the game — and has walked away for good. Because you won’t leave him alone, as he has repeatedly demanded, you are actually harassing him, and he could report and charge you. Please say you’re not doing drive-bys and banging on his doors. Just back off, girlfriend! Think of the $25 you paid for his dinner as your fine for slapping him and harrassing him.

By the way, you may have dodged a bullet. His calling you filthy names is the first hint that he would have been verbally abusive and gotten worse if you stayed together. You have a tendency toward violence yourself, so pack up your false pride and stop trying to get him back, thinking no guy can leave you first. Yes he can.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6