Brother’s ‘baby names’ best ignored

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This article was published 15/06/2019 (2655 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

 DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m furious with my older brother, who treats me like a baby and calls me Pooh Bear in front of his friends — even worse, sometimes just Pooh! I’m 13 and I’ve “developed” as they say, and I look at least 14 or 15. My brother is 16 and drives, and thinks he’s such a hotshot.

I like one of the friends he brings over, and I know his friend is looking at me. He teases me, too. Doesn’t that mean he likes me? I just wish my brother would be more respectful. How can I get him to stop calling me baby names?

— Not a Baby! Fort Garry

Dear Not a Baby: Do you think these baby names make one bit of difference to the guy who’s looking you up and down? He’s probably not going to ask you out — at least for another few years — unless he wants your brother’s fist down his throat.

Just shrug or roll your eyes when your bro is teasing you, and show the guy who’s checking you out you have a sense of humour. In a few years he may call you and say, “Hey, Pooh Bear!” and your best response will be: “That’s me!”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a short man who has had a few taller women in my love life, which was fine with them because I have a much taller bank account than most guys, plus I’m funny and a good lover. You can get a long way with personality and a sense of funny.

Recently, I met a woman who is exactly my height (five-foot-four). We’ve been dating and it’s been going really well.

But when she came to pick me up at the gym in her convertible recently, she came right into the gym and heard this “buddy” of mine, say, “Can’t you afford the tall ones anymore, buddy?”

It was said in a half-funny, half-mocking way so I just tried to ignore it, and she and I went off. Unfortunately, she caught the remark, as it was said at the door of the gym. She said, “What did that idiot say about us being together?” She laughed, and went quiet. Then she said, “I know somebody who dated that guy for a while, and she said he was ‘stingy with his money and small where he needed to be bigger.’” We both laughed

Thankfully, those aren’t my problems.

What do I say next time that jerk makes a crack about my lack of tall? Got a smart comeback for me? Staying silent didn’t feel very good, and I can’t stand that guy at the gym now.

— “Tall” Where It Counts, Tuxedo

Dear “Tall”: Saying this old line — “I won’t even dignify that question with an answer” — is a good retort to show your disdain for a rude question. Staying silent with a disdainful look, would come in a close second, so you did OK.

This big-mouthed guy comes from a place of not liking himself enough to have a generous attitude to other men. He was probably jealous you had a new lady who came to pick you up in a hot car, and was trying to put you down to make himself feel better.

Mentally strike him off your list of gym pals, even though he’ll still be there working out. Instead of being buddy-buddy, discuss the weather with him, then say you’re there to work out, and amble off to the other side of the gym. After a few fake-pleasant freeze-outs, he’ll get the idea he’s not one of your gym buddies anymore, and maybe think about what he did to cause that.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The other day, there was trouble in my new rural sweetheart’s family, and his mother phoned my place in Winnipeg at 7 a.m., apologizing for waking us and politely asking to talk to him. That told me a lot.

Momma has my phone number and didn’t call his cell. She knows where he sleeps in the city and wanted me to know she knows!

I’ve told him I think his mom is ready to accept our relationship. He insists it must have killed her to call him at his girlfriend’s house in the big city.

I think he’s wrong. I hear she’s a very lovely woman. Look at the great young man she produced. I’m willing to talk with her about anything, but he says, “No, don’t go there!”

It’s only been since Christmas we’ve been seeing each other so I’m in no rush to get married, just to suit his parents. But, we’re in love! How should this be handled?

— Ready For the Meet & Greet, South Winnipeg

Dear Ready: Respect your boyfriend’s judgment. What’s the matter with leaving it alone? The mother knows about you and maybe is a little uncomfortable about it, but she’s not demanding anything from her son or you. So just go along blithely as if nothing’s up and charm the family this summer, if you can.

Don’t force serious talks and confrontation. Take this relationship through six months and see if it develops or dies out.

“Love” isn’t always forever love, and there’s no need to hurry this relationship.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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