New player joins beer league, hits home run with attached gal

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/09/2019 (2549 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been with the same guy for three years and we play together on a beer league sports team. Suddenly, there’s a new guy on the team I’m just crazy about. I even have erotic dreams about him.

I hate that I feel this way, because my guy is so nice and loving, but the one I have a crush on is a real Adonis who is also nice, has an amazing job and education, and is literally the man of my dreams.

I love my boyfriend, but I don’t feel those same feelings for him. Is it worth hanging out with this new guy to see what he’s like?

— Crazy About Him, Winnipeg

Dear Crazy About Him: Turn this around. How would you like your boyfriend to stay with you, when he’s dying to get together with a hotter woman on the team — a woman he considers his Venus?

Blech! You wouldn’t want to be his charity case, no matter how much you care about him. What this crush tells you is your present relationship is not strong enough to continue.

So set your boyfriend free. And yes, you’ll need to get off that team and possibly join another. You may even be without a boyfriend for awhile.

Let Adonis know you’re interested after a month. That’s right. It’s 2019, so you can call up this man of your dreams.

Don’t mention you left the boyfriend and that particular team because of handsome him — too much pressure and it might go to this head. Who knows, he may have already been wanting to call you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in my 40s and have been dating this man in his 50s. It turns out the reason he’s been such a gentleman about sex is he has erectile dysfunction (ED). That would be OK with me if he was taking Viagra or Cialis to get back his erections, but he just won’t, and he doesn’t have any “contraindications,” according to his doctor.

He just doesn’t want it. Nor does he want to pleasure me in a way that would give me an orgasm. He just wants to cuddle, like old folks. He said his last girlfriend was just fine with this.

I have pointed out she “cheated” and left him for another guy, which he conveniently forgets. Should I leave him? He’s such a great guy otherwise and good men are hard to find.

— Tempted, West End

Dear Tempted: And “a hard guy is good to find,” as Mae West famously said. Look, you’re only in your 40s. Maybe you should pick a man your own age where ED is unusual. Your sweet guy isn’t so sweet when he doesn’t want to satisfy your desires in any way, and only wants to cuddle.

Why waste time? He’s a platonic cuddling pal who’s making it impossible for you to meet someone else for a full sexual relationship. Afraid to make the break? Maybe you need to figure out what you’re really afraid of, in terms of finding a fully functional boyfriend.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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