Fed-up witch can try this trick

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This article was published 31/10/2019 (2466 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband loves to dress up in scary costumes and drag our fancy bar stand outside for Halloween. He sets up to serve hot toddies and goodies, which I bake, for the parents. He has a cauldron that steams — and gets lots of attention in the neighbourhood.

I just tend the door and take pictures of the kids’ best costumes, if their parents will let me. I decorate big-time and use eerie lighting and loud, scary music — and we’re known to give big treats, so our place always gets lots of kids.

This year, I told hubby it was my turn to be out at the bar, and he said, “No way, that’s my thing. I started it!” I feel left out because he gets to visit with all the adult neighbours and I don’t. I’ve had enough of doing the door. What do you suggest?

— Fed-Up Halloween Witch, Fort Richmond

Dear Fed-Up Witch: Here’s a workable compromise for you big, fighting “kids”! Drag your treat table out to make a little stand with battery lights and set it up near the walkway to the front door, and enjoy the fun with your husband and the parents and kids, in the yard.

Kids who are in a hurry to get more treats don’t always want to go to the door and knock. They just want to be greeted, praised for their costumes and get the goodies! So, set up your table until it gets too cold, and then move inside. Hubby is stuck out there to shiver to the very end! Ha! You see? Two can work this game — and have fun!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Halloween is my favourite time of the year and I decorate to the hilt with lights and figures all over the front of the house, so I get lots of adults coming with their children to say congratulations.

This year, I am nervous! The guy I had a big affair with has children, and last Halloween, he showed up with his kids at my door for treats. The affair has been over for two years now. (He only lives a few blocks away and I met him through the community club.)

Last year, he wore a funny costume and a full mask, and as his kids turned to go, he stage-whispered, “I miss you. I think of you every day. Call me, please.” I connected with his big, brown eyes and said, “I can’t believe your nerve!” Then I turned, shut the door and cried.

I’m single and was really in love with that man, but I know he’s never leaving his wife. The affair started four years ago and I see he has another child — a two-year-old — so obviously they have a sex life.

So why did he play with my heart? Will he come back again this Halloween, and if so, what should I say?

— Terrified Of The Doorbell, Corydon Area

Dear Terrified: You and I both know you won’t dodge the Halloween door duty this year, either. This affair was a big drama in your life. Ex-lovers don’t opt out of the continued drama if they still care — and obviously you do, or you wouldn’t have ended up crying.

You could spend Halloween helping a friend dish out treats and avoid the worry, but I doubt you will! The trouble with old passion/love relationships is they recede into almost nothing most of the time, but if the beloved presents themselves, especially in an unexpected way, the good and bad emotions and the memories come rushing back. Be prepared! He may not come back because you didn’t call after he begged you to, last year. He may have a wife, but he still had feelings for you, and you ignored him this whole past year.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. 

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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